What Kel Needs
by Madrigal of Rose
Summary: Neal is faced with the challenge that the heroine of his life's ballad is missing something very important and has been for some time. As the self-proclaimed side-kick to Kel's greatness, he attempts to right what he views as a great wrong done to his beloved best friend.
1. Chapter 1

Mages did not drink. At least, not mages who wished to keep their powers in check. The stronger the mage the more that could go awry when liquor was present in the bloodstream. That was the particular reason it was very hard to find any sort of spirit in the rooms belonging to Sir Nealan and Lady Yukimi of Queenscove. Both of them mages, both of them always cautious about matters of power, liquor just was not something either wanted to play with. However there were a few small occasions in which Sir Nealan would allow himself a goblet of wine, sipped on slowly throughout the evening to savor the taste. These were moments of celebration. Like when Neal found out they were expecting, or when Neal's cousin announced his promotion to Captain in the King's Own, or at the weddings of his friends or when those friends announced their own expectations of a family.

Until those particular moments of celebration, the small cask of wine, made special from Masbolle's vineyards, stayed hidden in a locked cabinet under the large oak bookshelf in Neal's study. He knew Yuki was well aware he had it and she even had a key to it if she ever so chose to partake in a goblet herself. But with their daughter crawling around it was easier to make sure it was locked in his study where his daughter had yet to discover on her own. He had considered moving it, placing it up higher just in case his daughter did have the Gift and could magick the lock. Children could be determined and toddlers even more so. But until the day she showed any sign of having the Gift, he could leave it locked down low.

Tonight he sat in his study with the door closed deep in thought while he unlocked the cabinet and poured himself a gobletful of the scarlet liquid. He knew Yuki and their daughter would be with the Princess Shinkokami and her son for the next few hours on a play date. As he sat at his desk with the cup he realized this was the first time he was drinking not because of celebration, but because of sorrow. He realized this kind of sorrow was not the kind people normally drank over. Death of a family member or friend, a loss of something important, loneliness, those were reasons to drink of sorrow. But perhaps he had lost something in the last few hours. Perhaps it was more his view on life that had disappeared. Until tonight he had thought it fair in some way. But as that thought came to his mind more thoughts came to counteract it.

Certainly he had witnessed his share of imbalanced wealth, luck, and respect. His own life was littered with it after his two older brothers died in the Immortals War. He witnessed his own best friend, Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, fight one injustice after the next that tried to stop her from getting her shield. He saw poverty and inequality in the convicts and refugees that lived at Haven and then New Hope during the Scanran War. He fought killing devices fueled with the souls of children who were snatched from their homes in the middle of the night, treated like kings and queens, and then murdered. He knew better than to believe the world was fair.

But then again, in the ballad in which he always viewed his life, the righteous and true always prevailed. Kel did become the first known lady knight in over a century. She herself was a one person army attempting to fix all of the evils of inequality. She picked up strays, meddled in their lives, and left them better off than they could have dreamed. She built up New Hope until the refugees were no longer homeless but fiercely proud of their own new fortified town. And Neal had gone with her, albeit against her will, to take down the necromancer and make sure she arrived home. But no the world wasn't fair and he knew that. Certainly Kel was fixing injustices and he was helping her but the world was still unfair.

The perhaps it was the realization that in this ballad he saw his life as, he was a supporting character, not the main hero. Some part of him had known that and it was oddly reassuring. He always knew Kel was the hero in his ballad and he was quite happy to be her best friend, constant travel companion, and the comic relief ever ballad needed. The realization he wasn't the hero in his fantasy ballad did not hurt or even startle him. It was actually something he felt peaceful about now that the thought had come to the surface.

Then perhaps it was how imbalanced his ballad was. Not necessarily imbalanced, but lacking, yes that was the word, lacking in certain areas. Well that was a trait of all ballads to not tell the complete truth. He could name several ballads about his former knight mistress that was complete and utter lies or only focused on her swordsmanship and devotion while leaving out her temper. He had rewritten a few to her amusement that included such details. He prided himself on being better than the great poets and bards of past by knowing these details made the person human again. To know these things were truly done by real people.

As the thought crossed his mind he set down the goblet of wine and stood to go to his bookshelf. On the top row mixed in with books on healing techniques, spells, and potions, was a plain leather bound book with no title pressed onto the spine or cover. As he opened it to his own inked letters he stared at the words. It had started as a joke, meant to be a gift for his best friend whenever a gift was truly needed. It was the true ballad of the Protector of the Small. It told of black eyes, and ungrateful ten year old boys. It told of temperamental horses with a taste for biting particularly handsome green-eyed men, and sparrows that had adopted her as their own chick in need of protecting and raising. It told the truth, and gave details that other ballads thought unnecessary when they spoke of the Protector of the Small.

But her birthday and Midwinter had come and gone three times over since he had planned to give it to her. He wasn't sure why he held back. Perhaps it was because he always had felt it was incomplete. Kel was never done doing deeds and never done adopting strays. She was never done and likely wouldn't be until death and maybe not even then. But Neal knew it wasn't her death he was waiting for. That would be morbid. No he felt there were details he was missing that made the Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, Protector of the Small a true and real person. And tonight he had those details though he realized he wished he hadn't.

Every person deserved a happy ending when it came to love. He knew he had wanted to write her a happy ending that included her wedding day to someone who treated her like the amazing and beautiful woman she was. Everyone needed romantic love somewhere in their lives. It added color and passion. It gave a reason to keep pushing forward when all of the world seemed bleak and ready to fall to cataclysm. And every woman needed to feel attractive to at least someone.

Tonight, he had sat amongst his best friends. He could name them all with a blink and all of court could too. It started at the top of rank with the Crowned Prince Roald of Conte, Sir Faleron Count of King's Reach, Sir Merric of Hollyrose, Sir Esmond of Nicoline, Sir Seaver of Tasride, and Sir Owen of Jesslaw. The only one missing from their number was Sir Cleon of Kennan, distant after his marriage to his betrothed heiress and the realization he would never marry Kel. From what Neal could gather, Kel was more hurt by the distance than the fact she would never marry him. This was a common gathering though. A time to relax and talk about life and changes and duty. But it was all too far from a common gathering when content arose.

Sir Faleron had asked Kel when she was planning to settle down and marry because practically everyone else had or had plans to. He himself had been married and his wife had born him twins just that past year. Kel had only tried to change the subject but it came back again and again as friends tried to discover if she had a lover or a crush or anything worth going off of. And they had all watched as Kel had picked herself apart, seeing herself and her body as ugly and scarred. Seeing her great deeds that made her a heroine, make her unlovable in the feminine sense. It had been proven, she had said, that men preferred their women smaller, unscarred, classically beautiful, and as far from the battlefield and as far from a reminder of their profession as possible. She had only to look at her close circle of friends to prove it. And no one could say she was wrong in her analysis of what men that understood her wanted in their own women.

Neal had mentioned that she was a hero and her scars proved it. She had retorted that it was a double standard held by all of court and most of mankind. Men with battle scars were considered heroes and their scars were marks of courage and heroic deeds. Woman with battle scars were considered disfigured, ruined for life, ugly. She brought up Neal's cousin Domitan of Masbolle and pointed out an arrow had gone through his shoulder when she had been a squire. He had boasted about how the scar had made the ladies swoon over how strong and heroic he was. Kel pointed out those who saw her scar on her shoulder, very similar to Dom's but done with a battle axe and for no less heroic of a deed, thought it was ugly and did their best to avert their eyes.

Point after point was made in favor of Kel's view on herself. She had evidence built up in her favor and no one could sway her from the opinions she had formed of her own body and her own worth as a woman to be loved.

She had left then stating that she just needed the topic to be dropped and left alone for all of eternity. Like a dutiful best friend, Neal had followed after recovering from his stunned state. He had discovered her in her rooms, tears silently running down her face. Had it been an outburst of sadness and rage at her situation, he felt it would have been easier to handle. Those emotions were usually short lived and after a few hours of soothing, they could look to a brighter future together. But the slow silent tears marked something far longer and deeper than bitterness at her situation. It was sadness at the long standing resignation she would be forever alone. This was a pain, an injury, a scar he as a healer could not heal. It was something he could only heal if he broke his vows to his wife. He knew he could love Kel. He had loved her from afar for many years. He had always thought she deserved someone better. That someone more suited to her would come along. Someone similar to him but with better luck at drawing out her true emotions and without fear of facing them.

He could have loved Kel the way she needed, but Yuki was what he had needed for all of the reasons Kel had mentioned but not for the exact same intentions. Yuki was not hardened and scarred. She was not a reminder of the battlefield when he woke at night sweating because he remembered the deaths that he had handed out. Yuki was someone he could leave behind at home and trust she was safe so he could focus on duty and not worry. Yuki was someone he could remind himself he had to return home to when duty was done. Kel would understand him better when he needed to vent about the people he could not save, but she would not be a fantasy away from the sadness. She could not be left home because often she had the same duties. She would be a distraction as he felt the need to protect her while at the same time, knowing she could protect herself. And he could not remind himself he had to return home to her in fits of melancholy on duty because she would be right there every bit as tired, irritable, cold, and wet as he was and not be complaining.

He knew those reasons when he was beside her in battle and when he was practicing alongside of her on the practice courts. But it was hard to think of those reasons when she was so vulnerable in front of him. He had felt that way when she was injured or ill but those things he could fix with a touch of the hand. At the same time this particular vulnerability could also be fixed by the touch of a hand. A kiss. A night of the slow kind of love making that took hours to start and even more hours to finish. The kind of love making that left her sleeping soundly next to him while he would stare at her body and see every scar and every muscle and know she was every bit as vulnerable as she was strong and amazed by her all over again.

But he couldn't give into those thoughts. He had a wife, a child, a life he loved dearly. Had he realized this all sooner, he may not have made the safe choice in his love for Yuki. Yes he loved her deeply. He had chosen Yuki. He had chosen the life he had with her and he had good reasons now that he thought about them. But he had still held Kel, hugging her close and kissing her temple, promising that a worthy man would come along and prove to her at least one man in the world was smart enough to snatch her up and worship her as the goddess she was. In his own mind he added that some man would be brave enough to love her.

She had admitted then, with a quiet laugh, that as a page she had wished he would have held her even like this just to comfort her and that she had loved him. When he had teased her a bit, hoping to make her laugh, he had gotten the name of the man who had taken her devotions from him.

Dom. Of course it was Dom.

The goblet of wine was empty now. It sat on his desk next to the true ballad he had written for Kel. He had hoped with the last drop of wine, the image of Kel in such need would have faded from his mind as well. He had hoped it would bring him solace from such thoughts. Instead it left him contemplating his cousin a bit more and the potential for a love between the Great Flirt Domitan of Masbolle and the very subtle Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan.

Neal was no fool. Dom would be a balance for Kel's stoic ideals. Dom was handsome, charming, confident, and funny without becoming the tail end of a joke. Though he graciously accepted that every now and then he was the tail end of a joke. He understood Kel's feelings when it came to command. He understood her mindset and the sorrows she faced. He would bring passion and color to her life. He could help her forget the battlefield and killing and injustices of the world. He could love her body the way it deserved to be loved.

But Dom was in the Own. The only person who could marry and stay in the Own was the Knight Commander. Dom had only just become Captain of Third Company that year. He would want to keep his promotion and prove himself for at least five years or so before thinking of retiring. He was thirty-three. Chances were he didn't plan on retirement until at least forty if ever. So perhaps marriage was out of the question for the time being. But he could still love Kel.

Neal knew Dom loved Kel in a sense. He was viciously protective of her. And it had been Dom back in Blayce's fortress that had insisted on looking for Kel even though she had ordered them all home if she didn't come back on her own. It had been Dom who had carried her out of the tower and had reported her deeds to everyone. It had been Dom who had watched her all the way home, making sure she truly was alright without a true healing on her shoulder. And Neal certainly could tell the two of them were comfortable with each other as comrades and as friends. When Dom was at the palace he could often be found having a drink of some kind while talking with Kel about anything and everything.

Kel understood the life Dom had better than any woman Dom had ever attempted to court. She understood midnight and early morning calls. She understood chasing bandits through the forest for weeks, or the time it took to rebuild a town. She understood months among the Bazhir in recruitment and building of rapport. She understood having little time to write or read letters. Perhaps Dom would stop searching out easy female company when he had such a solid love that was waiting for him. And perhaps Dom would do better with such a woman after seeing exactly how his own Knight Commander had dealt with loving a woman who couldn't just be left home or had her own orders.

Neal heard Yuki coming back with their daughter as he took out his paper and quills and ink for writing a letter. Neal had always been honest with Dom about his feelings for Kel. He had also always focused on Kel's good qualities rather than write in about the times she had been vulnerable. Now he wrote of the night's experiences. He wrote of Kel's points about herself and he wrote of his own cowardice at knowing exactly what she deserved. He wrote of wishing he himself could take away the pains she was experiencing but knew that he wasn't the one that deserved it to be hers with the choices he had made in love. He did not outright say that Kel needed Dom, but he did press that Dom might be better suited in helping her simply because he knew women better and he knew Kel's mind better. When he signed his name he turned to face his own wife, reading over his shoulder, her face blank of emotion but her eyes readable. She approved.

"Do you think he'll see through everything I've said to what needs to be done?" Neal asked as he pulled his wife down onto his lap to hold her close.

"I think he'll know, in time. Before then, he will still come to chase the sorrow she feels away." Yuki held out the wax that would be required to seal it and then stood to kiss his temple. "Come to bed soon."


	2. Chapter 2

It was raining. It was pretty much always raining in the late fall on the border of the desert heading north. If Domitan of Masbolle, Captain of Third Company of the King's Own, did not know it was raining simply by being soaked through the armor and clothes to the bone, he would simply just have to listen to the one hundred men in his company complaining that they were wet and cold. Some part of him wondered how Captain Flyndan Whiteford, his predecessor, had lasted so long as Captain of Third Company. Certainly this unruly bunch of children with their pranks, and complaining, and practical jokes would drive any commander mad.

Of course Dom would be the first one to forget when he was cold and wet and miserable that he had once been part of all of those things when he had first been part of a squad and then a squad leader in the same company. These men were his friends, his family, his brothers in arms. He could no more walk away from them and their complaints than he could knowingly send them to their deaths. But he swore he never heard this much complaining when Flyn was in charge. He turned to mention this to his Knight Commander, Sir Raoul of Golden Lake and Malorie's Peak. The giant of a man only showed merriment in his sole black eyes.

"You don't remember because it wasn't directed at you like it is now," Raoul pointed out. "After we make camp and get some fires going with some nice hot soup, the men will quiet down and realize you're every bit as miserable as them." One ham sized hand gripped his shoulder in a friendly gesture before Dom signaled several of his men to ride ahead and find a good place to camp. With any luck there would be a good place close and they could all hide in their tents and dry out for a night.

As if the weather gods were against Dom, the sky opened up more pounding him and the other men with enough water to drown a school of fish. Briefly Dom was reminded that his own mother thought he was crack brained for being in the Own this long even with the promotion. Surely if he had followed her wishes and had settled down with a nice lady he would be some place dry and warm right about now. But as soon as the thought went through his mind, he remembered that he had started to despise the artificialness of the ladies that graced court searching for a husband. He wanted to be able to talk about anything with his woman, and certain topics were out of bounds with most lovers.

"Why doesn't anyone talk about… mud in your teeth when they talk about war?" Kel had once asked him when they had first gone up to the Scanran border nearly six years before.

"Because a woman would look at you odd if you talked about mud in your teeth rather than the people you had killed so she might be safe at night." Dom had given something to the effect of that answer. But he wanted to be able to complain about mud in his teeth to his lover. He wanted to forget he had killed men sometimes and just complain about some of the mundane things in his work. He wanted to complain to someone that he was cold and wet and tired of hearing his men complain about the same thing to him. He wanted a sympathetic ear to those types of things and the ladies at court did not seem to offer that.

Not to mention they made him feel old sometimes. He was only thirty-three but most of the ladies at court looking for husbands were sixteen, seventeen, or gods above forbid eighteen or nineteen and losing out on their prime. He enjoyed showing off a beautiful woman on his arm but as a younger son he didn't need to marry a young baby factory that could manage a fief. He could marry a more mature woman who was more at his speed and level. But marriage would mean quitting the Own and leaving behind his Captain position. While he often fantasized of such things, he knew that he couldn't just walk away without a very good reason.

Luck was with him that his men returned to show them a nice camping spot when the skies eased up to a light drizzle. By the time tents were erected and pots of soup were cooking over warm fires, the rain had stopped. Dom was able to lay out his armor to dry with his uniform and relax in a tent that allowed him a table to sit and have a cup of mulled wine away from the complaints of his men. He had claimed the first half an hour after camp setup for himself and all of his men knew that. They knew he needed a few minutes to unwind and realize murder was a bad idea. Which is why Dom did not expect his tent flap to open or for just anyone to stroll into his tent only a few minutes after he had started to drink his wine. When Dom turned to see Raoul he glared openly.

"I can't keep the few moments I allow myself some liquor out of your sight if you decide to just come right in when you know exactly what I'm doing." Dom grumbled. Raoul only chuckled at him and sat down opposite of him at the table to produce an oilcloth wrapped letter.

"A messenger came through with mail just after you retreated. I thought you'd like to read someone else's complaints that have nothing to do with wet and cold." Raoul left the letter sitting seal up to reveal the Queenscove seal pressed into green wax. While there were four living members of the Queenscove family that could write to him, he knew that only one would send him a letter of this thickness when he was due to come back to the palace soon. His cousin Neal would certainly complain for some or most of his letter but his complaints were often hilarious and would allow Dom to shake his head at his cousin's folly. With a nod to Raoul, he opened the letter as his commander left his tent and started to read.

_Dear Cousin,_

_Tonight I have been faced with my own cowardice and inability. As a Gifted, Educated, Scholar of a man, I have always prided myself on the ability to fix the hurts of those around me. Unless, of course, I am the one causing the hurts either with my inability to shut my mouth (don't think I didn't know you were thinking that so I said it first! So there!) or with my training as a knight. But I can't fix this kind of pain and to watch our dearest Protector suffer has left me a broken man._

Dom stopped reading for a moment. He could only stare at the last line, the amusement slipping from his very heart. Dom did not worry about Kel often because he knew Neal was with her and Neal would never let her suffer any sort of pain alone or for long unless it was his own poetry or romantics. With Neal around, Dom felt Kel was in somewhat capable hands because he could at least get a report from Neal by letter whenever something Neal deemed as big happened. But Neal deemed big things happening a lot. Kel challenging him to a duel on the practice courts for one too many remarks often left Neal writing about how unfair she was to him. Or that she had considered taking a squire was a big event. Or that there were weddings and naming ceremonies to attend for friends and their children were big events. But never before had Neal admitted to inability or to being broken because Kel was suffering. It left Dom feeling a bit of panic that he didn't want to read further. What if he could do nothing either?

Curiosity eventually got the better of him after dinner was served and he was able to take the bowl back to his tent. He delved back into the letter hoping it was just one of Neal's silly moods. The story that unfolded before him left him was certainly not silly and left him restless in his sleep that night and deep in thought throughout the morning and next day's ride. Kel did not believe a man would romance her or see her value as a woman because of muscle and scars? Those seemed like such petty things but she had made good points. How often had he noticed at banquets and balls that she wore gowns that covered her shoulders and a good expanse of her chest just to cover the scar over one shoulder? She had not been so cautious of it the first Midwinter back, wearing dresses that other ladies her age wore to show shoulder and skin and look attractive. The response had not been as favorable towards her as they had towards those other ladies. She had opted for more matronly type gowns or kimono type gowns the next year with better response.

But worse in his mind was he hadn't noticed her unhappiness. He had prided himself on the ability to read her when others couldn't. He knew her moods, how and when to make her laugh, or how to soothe a dark mood with words and kindness. Uncomfortable thoughts pushed their way into his head about lovers. Had she had one since that Kennan fellow? Had he been her first? Had he been her only? Had he not given her the attention she needed physically? He knew young men were often more focused on their own pleasure at that point. He had been a big giant of a man too. It was likely he could have hurt her unintentionally, leaving her with a less than pleasant view of love making. Or worse, what if he had left Kel a maiden and had not given her any bit of notion of how amazing her body, or any woman's body was.

Neal had described that her vulnerable moment had called to his instinct to fix it with a very long night of love making, showing Kel each wonderful and amazing part of her body and making her believe she was every bit as wonderful and amazing and deserving as any court lady. Not that Dom didn't believe Neal would have attempted it with Kel if Yuki had not been in the portrait, but Neal also had not had the experience needed with women to do such a thing properly. Neal had barely dabbled with women, being too much of a romantic and always after unattainable ladies to truly get the learning needed to fulfill such a wild fantasy. And Kel was too practical to let Neal ruin their friendship with such an attempt. It also made Dom feel immeasurably uncomfortable to think of Neal taking Kel to bed though he couldn't exactly pinpoint why that was.

Dom had seen Kel have some vulnerable moments too. He had seen her injured not only when she was a squire among the Own and when he had found her in the tower in Scanra. He had been worried for her and had felt the need to make things better. But unlike Neal, he had no Gift with healing to make her feel better and fix her hurts. But he did know women and he understood what she was feeling now at least. He at least could soothe over her fears that she wasn't worth loving.

He wished, as he rode at the head of his men into even colder days, that he could have been there to talk her down the night it had all happened. By the date on the letter it was already at least three weeks past. He wished he could have fetched her some tea and talked to her about everything. He would have listened to her and not have floundered like a blubbering idiot unable to face the injustices of the world. He would assure her that it would be worth it all when the man that was meant to love her found her, and showed her it was all worrying for naught and that she was just as beautiful and deserving as the smallest most unscarred court lady.

Briefly he considered writing her, to warn her he knew what had happened and wanted to talk about it. But he knew Kel would find some simple way to disappear with a duty or to visit her family. She tended to evade things that made her break her precious Yamani Mask that left her features completely blank of emotion. He also considered their meeting as they normally did and just bringing it up casually. He didn't want to hurt her certainly but he would have to open up this wound again to start to heal it. It would have to be done in private. Likely in his rooms or hers over one of their late night chats they had with tea to calm and unwind from the day. He realized, after he thought about it, that she would be more comfortable in her rooms than his for such a conversation. She could retreat in her rooms, not have to be seen crying when she escaped him if she did have to show emotion. He would plan to speak with her in her rooms then. It was no good if she was more uncomfortable than she needed to be.

With that plan in his mind, he turned his attention back on his men and their complaints. They would be in Corus soon and back in their own beds. He planned to be at the palace as much as possible until after Midwinter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer (because I haven't put it up yet): I'm not Tamora Pierce, these are her characters and places. I'm just borrowing them for a time for absolutely no financial gain.**

A thought crossed Neal's mind that he wondered if his other friends worried as much about Kel's lack of love or romance. Certainly they showed worry for her now out of her sight but no one appeared to be interfering the way he was. Which if he thought about it, he didn't really appear to be interfering either. He had simply written a letter of the events and his thoughts to his cousin. That was something he had done a thousand times over with Kel as his main subject. And Kel had insisted that she did not need romance and color and passion on several occasions. His own wife Yuki had insisted that a woman's worth was not defined by her romances or who loved her physically. Neal knew that was indeed correct. But everyone needed love.

Sure, Kel was loved. She had the love of countless refugees, of any servant that entered her service, of the animals that she cared for. She had the love of friends and the love of her family. But she was missing the love that healed all. She was missing the love of a person who cared about all aspects of her. Someone who could rescue her from her own thoughts at the end of the day and tell her it was alright to stay abed every now and then and not rise before dawn to do pattern dances with her glaive. Someone had to convince her she could have more in her life than her shield. He knew, with so many others, that she believed her choice to gain her shield had taken her off of the market as a woman. It wasn't true and Neal believed even if Kel had not gone after her shield, she would still have required some sort of special man to love her the way she deserved. Eventually he would try and convince her that her shield gave her the chance to be picky about a lover or husband. But he could not tell her such a thing until she had a lover and had had one for quite some time. Until then she had the power to tell him that he was full of it because the line of suitors for her to be picky of consisted of one knight who was now married with a family and putting as much space between them as possible.

There! Neal looked up as he heard a multitude of footsteps entering the barracks. Third Company had to be back with that much noise coming in. He paced some more wondering what Dom thought of all of this. Neal had seen the true depth of Dom's emotions for Kel once in the entire nine years Dom had known Kel. It was only in the brief moment where he and Neal had decided between themselves that they should approach Kel before she went after Blayce and Stenmun alone. It was clear they both only trusted each other with watching out for her in the correct way but even then they would argue over that if they ever actually talked about it. It was safer to simply keep their views on the matter quiet and accept that they each trusted the other enough.

"What do you want Meathead?" Dom's voice came from behind him. Neal nearly jumped as his thoughts had swamped his senses again enough for him to have missed Dom's approach.

"Did you get my letter?" Neal searched his cousin's face. He was giving that slight smile that he always had. Neal had always thought that while Dom was expressive, he often hid his thoughts behind a smile rather than a blank face like Kel had. Perhaps it was something commanders all learned eventually or it was a natural marker of commanders. They couldn't show true thoughts on their face. But then again, perhaps Dom simply had not gotten the letter or gods forbid, not care about the letter as Neal had thought he would. What had he expected? To see Dom come running, drop everything and run to the Lady Knight frantically and full of anxiety? Dom wasn't that type of person.

"Your letters always find me. I feel like you have a tracker following my every move," Dom grumbled as he pulled out his key to his room.

"That's simply because you are correct," Neal followed Dom into the room without an invitation and stopped short. He had been to Dom's rooms when he had been a sergeant. His room had been small with a narrow bed, rough desk, and his armor and weapons' racks. There was very little space to move around. Neal had thought with the promotion to captain, Dom would finally get a suite of rooms worth living in. Instead he found only a slightly bigger room with a double bed, a slightly better desk, a closet, a table with two chairs in front of the fireplace, and an attached privy. Neal noted that a captain in the Own lived about the same as a page except with a table and chairs.

"I should be upset but I'm not," Dom informed him.

"I should say you should be upset. This room is small and you are a Captain!" Neal threw his hands up in his typical dramatic style.

"I meant about the tracker. These rooms are a luxury compared to the conditions we see on the road. Besides I'm not here often enough for it to feel small." Dom turned to face his cousin briefly. Had Neal noticed the wrinkles that etched around Dom's mouth and eyes before? The bags under his eyes were certainly puffier than ever before and his normally dark mane was starting to see a speckling of gray. Neal frowned at his cousin.

"Have you been eating alright? Sleeping okay? Are you feeling ill at all?" Neal's hands started to glow with his Gift the moment he slipped into his healer mode.

"I sleep and eat on the road, so what I get is to be expected on both fronts. And no I'm not ill. You and Uncle have pumped me so full of healing magic over the years I think I'm resistant to normal illnesses." Dom upended one of his bags to reveal a ball of tangled dirty clothing. As he began to sort it out Neal sat down at the table and watched.

"When are you going to see Kel?" He asked watching Dom pull the clothes apart and throw them over by the door.

"Maybe tomorrow," Dom sighed as he upended another bag.

"Tomorrow! But Kel is suffering! She needs someone with a bit of courage to tell her she's not all of those things she thinks she is! She…" Neal stopped as Dom met his eyes. For a brief second Neal could see there was anxiety in Dom's features and that he was afraid he couldn't help Kel either.

"I have things to take care of first. While My Lord and I intend to keep Third Company here at the palace for a few months but still. I need to get reports done and restock supplies. We need to recruit. I have at least three resignations coming in tonight." Dom sighed.

"Ask Kel if she can help. She knows all of this business from when she was Lord Raoul's squire. Then you can get her confidence and get her talking to you." Neal shot up from his chair. "I'll go get her!" Before Dom could so much as look up, Neal was gone with the door slamming loudly shut behind him.

Dom wasn't quite upset with the thought of Kel coming to help. Kel understood the Own's business better than Lord Raoul sometimes. And he wasn't about to turn away an extra set of hands in filling out account books on what was used and how much it would cost to replace it and when it needed to be replaced by. He could do the math certainly or he wouldn't have gotten to be Sergeant or Captain, but he knew Kel could do the math far quicker in her head than he could. And he enjoyed having Kel around to help. She had a fresh point of view and would know exactly what he needed to hear after three long months of hearing the desert was too hot and then that the rain and wind were too cold on the way home.

What Dom was slightly upset about in the situation was that Neal had taken the control away from him in the situation. He would expect Dom to talk to her tonight. He would expect Dom to do it there in his rooms. What if Kel cried? What if she ran through the halls with tears streaming down her face and someone else from Third Company saw? What if she stayed and cried in his rooms? What if someone heard? He'd be a dead man. Briefly he wished that he was still living on the ground floor as he had when he was a simple Sergeant. His room might have been smaller but it at least had an easy exit if needed. And Kel's rooms in the palace were extremely close, being only in the courtyard across from the Own's stables.

That thought reminded Dom that if Kel was indeed in, Neal wouldn't need much time to fetch her. Five minutes was the longest it would take for him to run down the stairs, out past the stables and through the courtyard. Chances are Neal wouldn't even go through the doors that were right there into the hallway to knock on her door like a civilized human being. Instead it was far more likely he was too caught up in the hope that Dom would fix everything immediately that he would just bang on Kel's shutters and yell through to her. Kel would slow Neal down on the way back. Kel did not run when there wasn't a real emergency or without training dictating it. She was more dignified than his unruly cousin. It was only a small miracle that Neal had befriended Kel because she balanced him long before his wife became the permanent balance in his life.

Dom stood and went to the pack that held his notes and reports from the time in the desert. He took them out and threw them on the desk hoping Kel would look that way when she came in and not at the mess he was creating with his personal effects on the floor. It was still another few minutes before Neal returned. He let himself in and when Dom turned to greet Kel he found Neal was alone and looking put off.

"She's not in her rooms," Neal sighed when Dom continued to look at the door.

"It's midafternoon. She's probably busy. She's an important woman with a lot of friends and self-given duties. I doubt she goes back to her rooms before dinner," Dom heaved an internal sigh. He was relieved Kel had not been in her rooms. He wouldn't have to chance her possibly crying and being heard or seen by someone willing to murder him for hurting her before he could explain. He also felt a bit of a pang realizing he still would have liked to have seen Kel.

"Well, I'll keep looking for her and send her your way when I do find her," Neal announced. "What are you going to say to her anyway?"

"I don't know yet. I figured when we start talking, when she decides to open up to me, I will come up with something. You can't just script these things out Neal. She'll know that I knew and she'll probably kill you." As he upended his last bag he added, "or perhaps that's the way to go. Tell her outright and let her kill you. It would solve two of my current problems."

"Alright, I'm going." Neal stood. "I'll leave your Captainness to himself and go look for the Lady Knight. I'm sorry I ever so much as bothered to breathe in your presence. How thoughtless of me." Neal continued to ramble as he made it to the door. "And Dom?"

"Hmm?" He looked up thinking there would be just one last dramatic attempt before Neal left completely.

"Thanks. It means the world to me that you might be able to do something." With that Neal left and closed the door respectfully.

Dom set his bag aside and thought for a moment. Neal had actually forgone the dramatics to simply thank him for… well for what? He hadn't done anything yet. He wasn't even sure he could do anything. He wasn't even sure Kel would open up to him or how he would try and get her to open up to him. The direct approach seemed like it would be the best to get a response because Kel wasn't all about manipulative techniques but it also seemed in bad taste for him to come right out and say 'So Neal told me what you think about you and lovers…'. He thought back to the week before when he was on the road and he had felt like he had had this all figured out. Now he realized he really wasn't prepared at all for such a conversation. He wasn't sure how long he sat staring at the dirt stained shirt in his hands before a knock on the door forced him to look away and stand. As he opened the door to accept a resignation from one of his men, he was reminded he had other duties to attend to. Kel would have to wait until he could focus on her completely. And that would not be before bedtime, that he was at least certain about.

**Thanks to all who have read so far. Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

Dom stared down at his porridge feeling fully and completely drained before the day even started. Even just the thought of raising his spoon seemed like too much effort. His night had been a late one as he struggled through reports and supply sheets. When he did finally get to bed after the watch called the third hour after midnight, he had had trouble sleeping. The few winks of sleep he did catch were filled with endless reports and worries about Kel. Raoul had warned him the first nights back for a Captain were not restful when he had taken the job. Add on a personal problem and he was starting to believe that Flyn had to have been a mad man to have lasted so long in the position.

A steaming cup of something sweet and spicy smelling was put down in front of him and he turned to look up at a pair of dreamers hazel eyes framed by long curling lashes. Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan was staring down at him with as much concern as she would allow on her normally blank face. The passerby might only believe she cared as much about his well-being as she did about the particular contents on her breakfast tray that morning. Dom himself knew better. When the emotion Kel felt spilled out from her eyes to the slight frown on her lips and the worry lines forming on her forehead, he knew he must look as bad as he felt.

"The sweet will help," she told him pushing the cup closer and taking the seat across from him. "Neal said you might need a bit of a hand with the paperwork."

Dom grimaced. The night before he had realized that if Kel helped him he did not appear particularly able to do his job by himself. People would question why he had been promoted over someone more skilled. Perhaps even Kel would question his ability to be in such position. "I'm still getting the hang of it. He's just upset because it's going to take me longer than he likes."

"Weren't you the one who told me that clerks weren't really needed until company level? It would seem that's what you are at now." Kel asked as she helped herself to an apple on the table.

"Lord Raoul does not use clerks, so it would be a bit shameful for me to ask for them," Dom sighed. He had mentioned clerks at the company level. Or at least company level in the army.

"Lord Raoul uses squires and the Captain of First Company to handle his paperwork when he can't do it all. Plus he has a good twenty- twenty-five years of experience in doing it. I'm not convinced the man doesn't do it all in his sleep. He'll be the first to understand needing some assistance in getting sorted out." Kel smiled at him and he couldn't help but smile back. Suddenly his spoon didn't seem so heavy and the porridge looked a little more appetizing. "Besides I'm getting out of practice with reports and supply sheets. I'd like some work to do, if only to hide from Neal for a while."

"He's been his usual annoying self?" Dom inquired feeling much better about wolfing down his food.

"He developed some sort of worry for me that is just getting silly. He wants to know where I am all of the time and he is always watching me with this look on his face." She sighed.

"What kind of look?" Dom felt annoyed with Neal himself. If Neal was becoming more attached to Kel because of the realization she could easily have been his, his overwhelming romantics might be showing more than he would like them to. Especially to Kel who could read a person's body language like an instruction manual.

"Oh you know, like he watches his daughter when she's playing. Convinced she's about to break a leg or an arm or bleed to death if he takes his eyes off of her for a second. He'll nearly have a heart attack when she announces she wants to be a knight." She ducked her head and Dom nearly laughed. This was not something Kel had shared before but he knew Kel had not been surprised when Neal and Yuki's first child was a girl.

"You seem certain of that," Dom mentioned between bites.

"Irani mentioned it to me before My Lord's wedding. I figured I'd hold the information back from Neal but Yuki knows and now you know. I'm hoping she'll get some support from several directions when Neal tries to tell her no in eight years." She gave a silly grin and then looked out across the mess at familiar faces. She waved to Raoul when he noticed her and then turned her attention back to Dom. "When would you like me to report for duty, Captain?"

"Well, you want to escape the Meathead, right? So I'll just kidnap you now, smuggle you into my rooms and chain you to my desk for the entire day." He liked listening to her giggle at his plans. "Does he know where you are now?"

"Who do you think sent me down here?" Kel pointed out.

"Well I won't chain you then. And I'll buy you dinner tonight for the help," Dom polished off his bowl and stood. Let me just steal a pitcher of cider and we'll make our escape."

Through the scratching of quills on paper an hour later, Dom felt uncomfortable wondering when to break the silence and try and get Kel to talk. She had looked at his reports and had informed him how wonderfully written they were and how little he actually had left to do. Within the next hour they would be done completely.

"What?" Kel's voice startled him.

"What 'what'?" Dom looked up at her to see her turned around at his table watching him with interest.

"You sighed, rather loudly too."

"Did I?" Dom knew Kel wouldn't have said something if he hadn't actually done it. But he certainly didn't realize he had done such a thing.

"Is there more on your mind than reports?" Kel asked setting aside her quill to turn more fully towards him. Here she was taking care of him again when he knew it was actually supposed to be him confronting her and taking care of her. At least she had given him an opening earlier.

"I guess I'm just wondering why Neal is so concerned about you lately. I mean he knows you can take care of yourself and he doesn't really develop strange behaviors without a reason. I know he's a meathead but a meathead doesn't change habits easily. They are too stubborn to change so dramatically." Dom watched Kel's eyes seeing something pass behind them before her face closed off again.

"Neal has always had some sort of level of concern for me. When we were pages he would hound me on examination days so we were never late. Except for that last time and I had to force him to go by telling him if he was actually my friend he would get his arse to the exam room without me. Of course, I know he wrote all of that to you and I know he writes you regular reports on my doings. So he really hasn't changed habits at all other than to become just slightly more annoying about it." Kel stood to stretch and pour herself another glass of cider. Before he could so much as blink his glass was full again too and she was leaning on the desk next to him. "So what's really on your mind?"

"Neal doesn't just write me about your doings…" Dom sighed. "Neal writes everything he can about you because he knows you won't tell me anything you don't think I want to hear." He waited a moment before glancing up at Kel to see her face still impassive. "Kel," he turned in his chair to face her. "Neal wrote me what happened that night with your friends. He wrote what you said." He saw understanding dawn on her face.

"So now you're going to tell me that I'm wrong as well," Kel stood straight. "Well I have news for you. Your muscles and scars are attractive so how in Mithros name could you possibly know if I am wrong or not?" She was at the door before his numb mind could process much else. "And I don't need you and Neal and everyone else looking at me like that!"

Dom sat at his desk for a long time after Kel had left. She had been right in a sense. He couldn't know exactly how she felt, but he could see how it was for her. Empathy didn't mean he had to have the same exact experience, just the same emotions. He knew what it was like to feel judged for little more than a career. After another few moments lost in thought, Dom stood, straightened his desk, and picked up the papers Kel had been working on. Once everything was tidy he changed his clothes and went out the door.

To most people, what had happened would have been considered a step-back. Dom saw it differently. Now the lines of communication were open. He could approach Kel on the topic now without being afraid to startle her because it was already out in the open. She would know that eventually he would want to broach the topic if only to apologize or to seek out her reasoning. She probably wouldn't expect such an apology or attention for another few days because most men would probably be scared off as Neal had or the rest of her friends seemed to be. But Dom was not most men.

Kel's door was unlocked when he knocked and received only the mildest 'Come in', from the other side when he announced himself. Kel was sitting on the couch facing the window and could easily have, and probably did, see him coming. He knew she probably expected an apology but he wasn't about to give one. Instead he closed the door, sat down next to her on the couch, and let his eyes fall on the courtyard outside of the window.

"I'm not sure how much you know about Masbolle. I know I haven't said much about it, but I'm sure you know it's a vineyard that produces some of the best wines here in Tortall." He smiled a bit feeling proud of his family. "You also know we are in the Book of Gold as an old fief. Neal's father is my mother's brother. Uncle Baird is, well, different than my mother. My mother sees the wealth and name of her fief above all else. And the wealth and name of the fief comes from its vineyards and vintages. Women in our family should expect to be married off to some of the best fiefs with matches most nobles could only dream of. But men of our fief need to know their roles and places within the fief. Of course my eldest brother became a knight, since that is tradition for almost every fief. My second eldest brother did so as well. The brother above me fell right in line with my mother's wishes and went to the university to become educated. He currently works on the books. My younger brother has the Gift and managed to use it to help Masbolle's vineyards though I don't know how. The knights, well they stay home and manage the fief and vineyards now. Every little duckling is in place except one.

"My mother's letters are never really pleasant. She doesn't like the Own simply because I can't possibly bring honor to our family name if I'm one of one hundred. Even as Captain she's not really let up on me. She'd prefer I return home, marry, produce some children, and run the fief's guards and patrols if commanding warriors is really what I'm proficient at." He sighed. "I don't know what it's like to feel unloved or rejected based on my looks. But I know what it's like to feel rejected and unloved by those who you think should know better. My mother is bad but my siblings are worse. Their letters are lacking in sympathy telling me to just come home and get it over with. When I refuse openly they get fairly mean in their responses."

"That's terrible," Kel was facing him now.

"I'm not saying you're wrong about how people are viewing you. I'm saying their wrong for even thinking that way. I think you are beautiful, for what it's worth. I know every muscle and scar was earned with passion and care for your duty to the people of this realm. If that alone isn't enough for the world to see you as a heroine, then they can all rot in the Peaceful Realms."

"Dom, I…"

"Don't," Dom turned to face Kel and smiled. "Don't argue with me. Go put on something nice. I'm taking you down into Corus and we'll enjoy some relaxing time away from this gossip and prying eyes of this place we are cursed to call home."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks to all of those following, favoriting, and reviewing!**

When Dom had said to put on 'something nice', he had expected Kel to put on one of her nicer pairs of breeches and a nice shirt and possibly one of her better tunics. After all, besides the rare very social occasion he had only ever seen her in breeches and shirts. Instead he was treated to one of the rare times Kel put on a dress outside of banquets and balls. Looking at it, Dom knew that Lalasa had probably realized exactly why Kel was so set on wearing high collared and more covering dresses and had adapted a few to give Kel a younger look without making her compromise what had to be covered. The dark red fabric wrapped over her shoulders and tapered in to her bust, allowing an expanse of her neck and a slight curve of her breasts to be seen without showing any sort of what Kel considered to be ugly marks. The coat she donned for the chilly fall air was a dark gold color that matched the kimono style much favored by the entire country now. Dom whistled his approval when Kel stepped back out into the sitting room.

"Lalasa can make anyone look good," Kel murmured through a blush when she heard Dom.

"I'll send Wolset to her then. The poor man needs all of the help he can get. But personally I believe she doesn't have to put in much effort to make you shine." Dom bowed a low Player's bow and then offered his arm with a dramatic sweep. Rather than tell him he was wrong, Kel only seemed to shake her head at him and took his arm.

Out in the city Dom had a wonderful time wandering around with Kel from shop to shop. Traditional warrior landmarks were hit such as the Raven Armory where the two of them spent nearly an hour discussing and then arguing the advantages of different types of weapons with other shoppers. Laughing over the silliness of it all they bought lunch from several street vendors and watched the people of the town moving about their lives for a while. They both made some purchases, Midwinter shopping while they had time and restocking their own supplies of things such as tea and sweets.

When it started to get dark, Dom led Kel into the Jugged Hare and gave her a dashing smile. "Perhaps you don't remember but when I was new to the Own I won a dinner here off of you."

"You bet I'd stay on Peachblossom's back when he reared when no one else would," she added for him.

"I had faith in you even then," he informed her. "I always meant to take you out for a dinner here as a repayment for winning me that bet and thus starting my reputation for being always on the winning side of a bet. Now I have the chance. This is my treat. If you so much as sigh I swear I will unleash all of Neal's latest poetry on you." He smiled at her. Of course he was always on the winning side of the bets he got involved in. Any of the bets he got involved in were either fairly easy to read or based around Kel. And he knew when he should bet on Kel or not bet at all. Betting against her was simply out of the question.

"So it's you he's been sending his verses to. I was wondering where it was going," Kel smiled and let Dom lead her to a table inside.

"He knows he can't hear me laughing if he mails it to me. Yuki is truly a patient woman to put up with that man. I think you are probably the most patient woman I've ever met to have put up with him this long. When he used to write me letters about you two as pages, I kept wondering how you never murdered him in his sleep."

"It was tempting in the last two years of being pages but he was one of the only people who would talk to me the first year so murdering him seemed bad. But we got our revenge. We battered him with loaves of bread and one night we… well… not really sang but performed the soppiest love ballad we could find outside of his window. I'm sure it sounded as bad as a choir of tom cats." She laughed as she recalled the tale. "Cleon was too slow to avoid the bath of wash water Neal threw at us." Dom laughed with her.

"He never told me those stories," he admitted.

Over dinner Dom enticed more tales from Kel about her pages years, her time in the Yamani Islands, her view on things that had happened in her squire years. Dom did not have the courage to point out that Kel drew multiple sets of eyes to her from other men in the eating house, some of them noble as well. It felt too much like saying 'I told you so' and he knew Kel would withdraw if she was informed of the attention. She didn't like to be the center of attention ever. And she certainly wouldn't think she was worth looking at. She was tall, that was for certain, and her body was muscular but not in the ugly way she seemed to view herself. She was solid and that was a perfectly fine way to be.

When Dom rose to go settle the bill he made sure to do multiple glances back at Kel, making her giggle about his over attentiveness towards any displeasure she might display at him spending money on her. When he was satisfied her face was perfectly impassive until the third glance back to see her laughing, he let it go and went to pay the bill. The reason the Jugged Hare was a fairly decent place to win a free meal at was it was exceptionally good and also incrediably expensive. But Dom had money he could spend. It would not cramp his funds more than a few weeks of hard riding but that was worth it. Kel's laughter was worth it.

"Your bill has been taken care of." Dom stared at the large woman that handled bills and money.

"I haven't paid the bill yet. You must be mistaken on which tables have paid. We're…" Dom found himself silenced as the woman raised a hand to stop him.

"I am not mistaken." The woman's face displayed something akin to amusement. Her dark eyes filled with humor and her lips curled into something that might have been a smirk. Dom thought it over. There was no possible way Kel could have paid for the meal without him having seen it. She had been at the table the whole time; he had been at the table the whole time! No trips to the privy had happened, no interruptions that would have pulled one of them away. Glancing around Dom looked to see if anyone he knew was about. It was rare but sometimes he ran into his Aunt and Uncle and they paid for his meals at those times. They were nowhere to be seen and they usually made their presence known even if he was with a woman. The woman in front of him waited until he had seemed to exhaust all trains of thought before she cleared her throat politely and nodded to Dom's table. "Your dinner partner is Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan. She invests quite a sum of money in our business. She and any guests she brings to this establishment eat at no charge." With that Dom found himself turned back around to see Kel still sitting at the table with a now bland look on her face. There was no mistaking that she not only knew what would happen but that she had possibly enjoyed watching him think he was being so gallant in paying for her. As he walked back towards her he felt a bit amazed that she had managed to let him carry on the whole dinner without even mentioning she was one of their investors.

"Is the bill settled then?" Kel asked, her voice completely mild, when he approached the table again with their coats.

"Of course," Dom flashed her a grin and offered first her coat and then his arm. Once outside he sprung his attack. "Since you knew dinner would be paid for and still let me act the fool all evening about paying for it. I shall have to recite one of Neal's older poems about a lovely female page. It's called 'An Ode to the Tall Girl on a Mean Mean Horse'. I'm not even kidding. I memorized this one when you became squire to My Lord Raoul. I thought there might be a chance you would one day do something to shame me and I would have to retaliate." As he launched into Neal's poetry Kel looked first mortified and then started laughing harder and harder until she could barely walk a straight line and was leaning heavily on Dom's arm.

When they arrived back at the palace, her eyes were streaming with tears from laughter and the chilly night air. Back in her rooms, Kel made them both tea while Dom continued with his list of poems Neal had written about her. He had stopped reciting the full poems, knowing there was no possible way he could remember all of the poems Neal had written about Kel, and had resorted to the names and the key verses he could remember. Those things alone were enough to leave Kel laughing as she handed him his cup of tea and took a seat across from him.

"You have to have made some of those up," Kel accused him when he stopped listing.

"Not at all. I don't write poetry, Gods be thanked." Dom laughed hard. "Well, My Dearest Lady Keladry, what can this man possibly do to make you believe you deserve all of those terrible poems and many more devoted to your beautiful self?"

"Dom, today was wonderful, but that doesn't mean everything has changed since this morning." Her face clouded and her eyes were like hard hazel colored stones as she stared down into her cup. "I don't think I'm meant to have a lover and that is that."

"Then I am not done at all," Dom set his cup down and looked Kel over. "That Kennan fellow didn't really do you any favors," he thought out loud.

"Cleon was a good sweetheart," Kel started but Dom stopped her.

"He told you sweet things and kissed you, that's for certain. But did he tell you want he loved about your looks and body?" He knew he'd hate himself for asking but he felt like it needed to be done.

"He said he liked that I was tall. And he said I was beautiful, often." Kel wouldn't look up from her cup to see him.

"Did he ever say what exactly was beautiful? No of course not. But it's not even to just tell a woman what you think is beautiful about her. Did he ever make a point to stare at you or run his hands over you? Did he spend any time after love making to just be in awe of what he has just experienced?" Dom felt the blush rise to his own cheeks when he saw the horror on Kel's face. He thought perhaps he had caught her thinking that she hadn't been loved properly. Instead she opened her mouth and closed it once, twice, before looking up at him, her face sheepish.

"Cleon and I were never lovers," she whispered.

"Never? But you two were together a lot. Left alone even. Neal wrote often that during the Grand Progress that he and the others would leave the two of you alone at night.

"Sure, but there were always people about. And even though he teased me about it sometimes, when he was truly confronted with the thought, he would back out. He always claimed he wanted to wait until he talked his mother around to getting him out of his betrothal contract so he could marry me." Kel hung her head shamefaced.

"Kel? Have you ever had a lover?" Dom found his voice after some time in silence. She shook her head. Part of him was in awe. Kel was twenty-three. While that was still young, it was old for a lady to be a virgin. If she was strictly a lady she would be considered a spinster or an old maid. Most ladies were married by nineteen, twenty at least. She deserved to know what greatness there was in love and even just in bedding. Perhaps if someone took the time to show her how amazing her body was, she would be less sure she was destined to be alone.

"Thank you for the day and all Dom, but I think it's getting late," Kel stood. Never before had Dom been dismissed from Kel's rooms. She would normally stay awake until the early morning hours to chat with him if that was what he wanted. Sometimes she even seemed unaware that time had passed to such a degree.

"No Kel," he stood, feeling that he should give her space. "Thank you for the day. I wish all of my days were spent in the company of someone so interesting and beautiful." He took her hands in his and drew her closer to him. He was taller than her by nearly two inches. His six foot tall height at least gave him that as he leaned down slightly to brush his lips over her cheek. "Good night Kel. If you need me, you know where I am."

Strolling out the door and across the courtyard, Dom felt strange. Some part of him wished he was still back in her rooms. But there were reports still left undone and he would have to get some work done in the next day or two. With a sigh he let himself back into the barracks and walked through the hallways to his room hoping, perhaps, Kel would want to come and find him and let him take care of her, just this once.


	6. Chapter 6

Dom's dreams were restless. He wasn't sure exactly what he was dreaming, only that something important was mixed in with colors, sounds, scents, and flurries of motion. It was frustrating each and every time he woke throughout the night knowing something important was playing in the back of his mind and the rest of him couldn't make sense of it. Why couldn't his brain work as well in this as it did in the heat of battle? He would sit up each time, drink some water and question what he had dreamed. Coming up with nothing he would lay in his bed until his eyes grew heavy again and he could sleep. He was fairly certain when the door to his room crashed open in the morning that he had only been able to get a mere total of two hours of sleep from the night and he was not happy to see a disheveled Meathead glaring down at him. Sir Meathead, he reminded himself before he opened his mouth to speak.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this very polite visit, Sir Meathead?" Dom managed to say in the politest tone he knew how though the look the accompanied his words was anything but.

"You spent the day with Kel yesterday! She said so!" Neal threw himself down on the edge of Dom's bed.

"Couldn't this have waited until I could have actually have had some rest? Like maybe next year perhaps?" Dom groaned and threw himself back on the bed.

"No," Neal's short reply came. After a moment Dom peeked up at Neal to see him staring down like a cat wanting its breakfast from its lazy human. "So?" He pressed when Dom only continued to lay there in silence.

"We spent the day together. That is what you wanted, yes?" Dom growled and threw the covers off, tossing them at Neal as much as he could. If he was going to have this conversation, he would have it clothed. Like most men in the Own, at the palace they slept wearing just a loin cloth. It made for a quicker dash to pull on clothes when there was nothing to pull off in the process during night calls.

"And is she fixed? Did you find out what's really bothering her? Is there someone she has a crush on we can beat until he agrees to love her?" Neal stopped talking when Dom glared at him.

"She is not fixed because she is not broken. She already said to you what's really bothering her. And no she didn't mention a crush but even if she did I highly doubt she'd be thrilled with the idea we beat him into having to be with her. I think that she would have us both murdered and then be more convinced she would be forever alone because the only man that would want to be with her was beaten into it and is there out of fear." Dom wrenched open his door after he had both breeches and a shirt on.

"Where are you going?" Neal demanded.

"Since you insist I am up, breakfast," Dom called as he left the room. Neal followed, Dom knew he would. It reminded him of the many times when they were children that Neal either stayed at Masbolle or Dom stayed at Queenscove when the families decided to have a visit. Neal would come into his room in the morning, wake him up, and tail him all day like a lost dog he had fed. If Dom was honest with himself, it was Neal's persistence that made him one of his closest friends despite the age difference and amount of annoying things he could do all at once.

"So what did you two discuss?" Neal asked when Dom was halfway through his porridge. Dom was impressed that Neal waited until he had at least taken the edge off of his hunger before asking more questions. Perhaps he was learning something from having an exuberant child after all.

"Well I recited her all of the poetry you had written about her," he paused. "Well at least what I could remember. She laughed and accused me of making things up. I told her about your terrible crush on her and you wanting to bed her…" Dom ducked the roll thrown at his head. "Alright, I did do the poetry though."

"And…."

Dom raked a hand through his dark hair with a sigh. Neal wouldn't let this drop no matter what. "And we talked about her relationship with that Kennan fellow. When things got too personal, she bid me goodnight."

"Oh," Neal stared at the cup of tea in front of him for a few moments. His lips parted as if he meant to speak several times before he seemed to land on what he wanted to say. "Are you going to try again?"

"I'll give it a day or two. I'm exhausted. My head is all over the place and I can't get any decent rest to save my life. Mithros only knows what's going to happen if we have to ride out on an emergency call today or tonight."

"Well, Kel retreated with the ladies today. My darling Yamani Blossom said 'No men, leave or else' so I left and I have no idea what they are doing to Kel or to my darling baby Karin! I can only imagine that…"

"I think I'm going to go back to bed for a while Neal," Dom cut him off. "Please let me get some sleep." He knew if Neal started in on what they could possibly be doing in his rooms, Neal wouldn't shut up until he had listed every single fashion for women and where it had come from and the good and bad parts of it. And sleep did sound appealing. Neal waved him off clearly having heard what he really needed to from Dom and required him no longer.

Back in his room, Dom stripped down and lay back on the bed. He couldn't shake the feeling that the images from the night before had been very important but they made no sense. He closed his eyes and an image flashed before him, several colors assaulting his eyes at once. And then he recognized the scene as when he and Neal were talking in the village outside of Blayce's keep about trying to talk Kel into taking one of them with her. It was in that moment that both Neal and Dom had admitted they only trusted each other when it came to Kel. After Neal's last letter, Dom wasn't sure he even trusted Neal anymore when it came to Kel. After all, he hadn't known how to handle her crisis and Dom was at least doing something, he hoped. The image faded and with it, went Dom's conscious mind. Sleep came easier now that he had solved at least one of the puzzling moments from the night.

In Dom's dreams he was walking up the stairs of a dark and cold castle. The first two floors had been empty, he felt that and knew he had already searched them extensively. The third floor was his destination. Just about the turn the corner he took a moment to steal himself, not wanting to find what he knew in his heart he would find. This was Blayce's Keep and Kel had not come out after the battle. He knew she shouldn't have gone alone. He should have gone after her anyway, fought with her against Stenmun and Blayce. The least he could do was reclaim her body. So he turned the corner and saw the body down the hall, blood pooling around her pale face, clouded eyes seemed to stare through him as he approached. He knelt down next to her, to touch her cold cheek, knowing she was truly gone.

Dom sat up in the bed more slowly than when he had this nightmare before. It always took a while to remind himself that when he had turned the corner on the third floor, Kel had been propped up against a wall. Pale, certainly, and bloody, absolutely, but alive when he knelt down next to her to feel for a pulse. The cat draped across her lap had to be carried out as well. Kel wouldn't leave anyone behind except for the now dead Stenmun and Blayce. He had carried them both out and had taken charge while she was still unconscious. But all the while he had watched to make sure Neal didn't kill himself wasting his Gift on things that could wait, and that Kel was still there and still breathing.

A knock on the door had Dom looking around to try and guess at the time. He at least felt better rested this time despite the nightmare. The door opened and Dom pulled the covers over himself just in time to see Kel walk in. Her face was closed off, showing only the blankness. Her eyes drifted over him still abed and her lips twitched into a tiny frown.

"Are you feeling well?" She asked after a moment.

"I had a rough night so I decided to sleep in. Give me a moment?" He asked knowing he didn't want Kel to see him in just his loin cloth. He reached over to grab his breeches from the floor and pulled them on while under the safety of the covers. He knew he wasn't uncomfortable with women seeing him in less clothing but he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, or so he told himself. "Now," he said as he pulled a shirt on. "I am at your disposal."

"I just wanted to tell you that you were right last night. Cleon didn't really do me any favors in the way you mentioned. And yes, I'm still a virgin. But there's not much I can really do about that. Men avoid me." Kel met his eyes and the resigned look on her face nearly broke his heart.

"I don't avoid you," Dom moved over to the edge of the bed. "And you couldn't pay our Sir Meathead enough to avoid you now."

"Well sure, but that doesn't fix my apparent problem in your eyes," Kel sighed.

"Well let me get started on that," Dom cupped Kel's cheek in his hand feeling with all of his heart he was doing the absolute right thing. His lips moved forward and she turned her face up slightly to meet him…

Dom sat up in his bed and glared at his cousin who burst through the door.

"You spent the day with Kel yesterday! She said so!" He threw himself down on the bed.

Dom looked around, shaking his head to try and clear his mind. It had all been a dream. He had been dreaming about dreams and about Neal interrupting him and more dreams. And then there was Kel. He wasn't sure where that part had come from but it left him feeling uncomfortable when Neal was staring at him.

"Well what happened yesterday?"

Dom tried to shake the feeling of unease about the image of him about to kiss Kel. It didn't seem right. She was so much younger than him, a full decade. And he had always looked out to protect her. He must have been so sleep deprived and thinking about Kel needing a lover must have forced his mind to do some drastic things. With that hope in his head, Dom started to detail the events of what had gone down between him and Kel the day before.

**A/N: I know a bit confusing. For those still wondering what just happened, at the end of the chapter it's revealed that almost this entire chapter is Dom dreaming. And yes, there are dreams within dreams. Hope it wasn't too confusing for everyone. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I love reading your comments.**


	7. Chapter 7

Dom stared at the papers on his desk. They letters on the pages were not making sense and things were starting to blur together. Was Aiden retiring because of a lover or was that Rhys? Rereading the papers hadn't helped and his report on who needed to be replaced and which corporals needed promotion was starting to look like a blotted mess. He pushed himself back from his desk with a sigh. What he needed was a break and someone to make sense of things again. But the only person that normally made sense of things and made everything easier was avoiding him. No—he was avoiding her if he was being honest with himself.

He had been at the palace two full weeks and Kel had been in and out of his dreams since he had dreamed about kissing her. It was getting worse. There was more than kissing now in those dreams and even worse than that, he was starting to think about these things outside of his dreams. It would sneak up on him and catch him unaware to the point where he would be thinking about it without realizing what his mind was on. Then he caught himself wondering what having Kel for a sweetheart would be like.

It wouldn't be like the others, his reasonable side pointed out. Kel knew the life of the Own, knew what it meant to him. She wouldn't insist on marriage and she certainly wouldn't be angry he had to run out in the middle of the night or wouldn't be home after a set period of time. She wouldn't have unrealistic expectations of their time together. Moreover, she knew the Own's business and they could spend time together while he was working on even just paperwork or training.

Dom nearly knocked the chair over as he jumped up realizing what he was considering. Be sensible, he told himself, Kel deserves better than a man always on the run. Dom stopped himself there. This internal conversation had been going on all the past week with one difference: the part telling him to be sensible and not pursue her had reasons more closely related to her age, the gossip, and the things his family would have to say. Now as he thought it over he realized it had nothing to do with her looks or his feelings about what she did for her wages. It had everything to do with the consequences of others finding out. And beyond that, he didn't feel he was good enough. And if he thought about it just a fraction more, he really wasn't if he was more concerned about what his family and the court gossips would say. He wasn't all that concerned about being murdered by her friends and protectors for pursuing her. Chances were over the last two months they would have learned they should be thankful for her having a sweetheart.

Neal would be insufferable. That was just a given. He had been insufferable the last couple weeks since Dom was now avoiding Kel. Not that Dom and Kel hadn't spent time together or spoken, but usually it was in the company of others and he certainly wasn't about to bring up her history with Cleon of Kennan again. But Neal wanted to know when Dom was going to address everything again. Surely Kel had had enough time to cool off. But how could Dom explain to his cousin that he needed time to cool off. Except time wasn't helping him cool off it was making things worse. Why was it worse?

A knock on the door brought Dom back to reality. Before he could answer, the door opened and Neal walked in with Kel in tow. Neal's green eyes were ablaze with some plan or another and Kel just looked like she might bash him over the head.

"Neal, that was rude. You shouldn't just barge in. What if he had a lover in here?" Kel asked.

"He knows better than that. Having a lover in the Own's barracks is asking for the walk of shame." Neal turned to face Kel as he answered and then turned back. "Dom, we're going down into the city because my darling wife threatened me if I don't go pick up her gown from Lalasa's shop and Kel has to get a new set of gowns for Midwinter by order of Princess Shinko. She doesn't believe that I have a better eye for a gown on her than she does and we both know Lalasa won't tell me I'm right. So I need another man to come with and make me feel not only better about being in a dress shop but also because Kel needs opinions of people that actually appreciate her. And people that tell me I'm right."

"I never tell you that you are right," Dom argued as he straightened the papers on his desk.

"Of course not but you won't disagree when you see how stunning she looks," Neal replied cheerfully despite Kel's punch to his arm as he said it.

"We understand if you have other things to attend to," Kel nodded to the papers.

"I was just thinking I could use a break. I can't make sense of these things anymore," Dom turned to give Kel a smile. "I'd be happy to offer my expertise to you, My Lady."

"You're doomed," Neal cackled before steering Kel out of the room. After a moment to locate a coat, Dom followed.

Lalasa's shop was quiet when Dom, Neal, and Kel arrived. By the way the couches were set around a table with pastries and tea already made, Dom suspected that Lalasa had cleared out most of the people for her former mistress to get her full attention. Fabric samples in different colors and patterns of brocade, velvet, and silk were sitting out next to a sketch pad while a few dress forms bore different dress shapes.

"My Lady!" Lalasa saw them and bustled them over to the table. "When I was told you were bringing friends, I thought you meant the Princess and Lady Yukimi. Not some barbarians." Kel laughed and Dom did too after seeing the humor on Lalasa's face. Kel had once told him that Lalasa was so afraid of men because she had been abused, and the repeatedly 'frightened' once she was at the palace. She had no reason to believe men were good but now she was joking about them.

"These barbarians seem to think I need a change of style and want their opinions heard," Kel laughed as she sat down on the couch Lalasa was directing them towards. Neal sat down on Kel's left while Dom took her right. He fought the urge to seize her hand and entwine it with his own. Before Kel was sitting too long Lalasa had her standing and was measuring her with a cord to take fresh measurements.

"Do you wear darker shades of blue often, Sergeant Domitan?" Lalasa was giving him and his clothes a look over as she worked. Today he wore a dark blue shirt with black breeches and a gray tunic.

"I've been told it suits me but I don't often have the ability to wear more than my uniform," Dom informed her.

"Will you be attending the Midwinter parties too?" She inquired.

"I plan to," he started but Lalasa was already interrupting him.

"Unless you get a call. I remember my lady when she rode with the Own." Lalasa gave Kel an impish smile. "And Sir Nealan, your wife has a dress to be picked up."

"Part of the reason I am here," he replied. Dom realized that Lalasa was chatting with them to distract them from the fact she was pulling a cord tight around Kel's chest, waist, and hips as well as other parts of her body. While Lalasa inquired after Yuki and Karin, Dom looked at the cloth samples and his eyes fell on one that struck him. It was dark royal blue brocade with a pattern of gold roses and vines.

"That's a new one," Lalasa commented. "I haven't shown it to anyone yet. I wanted My Lady to be the first to see it."

"I like it," he held it up and immediately he could tell it would look great on Kel. "The blue would offset her fair skin and the gold would highlight the same tones in her eyes."

"It would seem I was wrong about this one, My Lady," Lalasa nodded to Dom. "You only brought one barbarian with you. This one is a good man."

"Why thank you, Mistress Lalasa." Dom was touched that even the joking about him being a barbarian was retracted.

"We shall definitely use that one," Lalasa took the swatch from Dom and held it up to Kel. For a brief moment, Dom swore he saw Kel blushing. When he looked over to his cousin to see if he had noticed it as well, he saw the smuggest look on Neal's face. Enlightenment hit Dom like an arrow to the chest. Neal hadn't asked Dom to come with to back Dom up. He had asked Dom to come with because he wanted his cousin to flatter his best friend. The cooler head that came from being in battle took hold when some part of him wanted to take Neal and toss him out into the street to be run over by a passing cart for attempting to match make. On the other hand, hadn't Dom been thinking all week about Kel as a sweetheart? If Neal approved of their courtship, things would go so much easier. Not that Neal would be too much of a hindrance to them if they did decide to court. He was more afraid of Kel's wrath than his own wife's and at the very most he would be downright annoying if he hadn't approved. "If you see any others that catch your eye, Sergeant, please sing out." Lalasa's voice brought him out of his reverie. And Neal's face was closer to its normal annoying state.

"I like this one too," he pointed to a light shiny pink with a pearl gray pattern. "But I'm not sure how Kel feels about wearing pink. Some women adore the color and others despise it." Lalasa snatched the swatch from him and showed it to Kel, murmuring quietly to her mistress.

Despite Kel's best attempts to not be overheard Dom still caught a brief "I still want it covered," with a minute gesture towards her shoulder.

"Mistress Lalasa, what about this style of dress? I think it would flatter Kel's body shape." He pointed to one on the dress forms that had a low neckline and off shoulder sleeves.

"See My Lady, even Sergeant Domitan thinks you'd look lovely in something like that," Lalasa said reasonably. "I have one that would fit you ready if you want to see what it would look like on?" Before Kel could decline, Lalasa was marching her back away from the men to a curtained area.

"You're playing matchmaker aren't you?" Dom growled quietly when he and Neal were alone.

"I have no idea whatever you could mean by that. Kel needed opinions and neither you nor I are polite Yamanis unwilling to tell her that she is wrong about herself." Neal shrugged. "Not that you two wouldn't be good together. It's just, that was not my intent today." Neal turned to face the curtains again and refused to say anything more. Dom stared at him a moment longer before realizing perhaps Neal wasn't attempting to match make on purpose but was enjoying that it was happening.

Before long Kel stepped out from behind the curtain in a lilac silk colored gown beaded with small gray pearls that revealed the expanse of her chest and parts of her shoulders while clinging to her waist and hips. Dom stared in awe and he realized Neal was staring too. The dress did flatter her figure, showing curves and making her look delicate. At the same time it did show a palm sized patch of skin smooth and white colored against her already fair skin on her shoulder. Dom hardly noticed as he was too busy staring at the rest of her.

Dom used to think that the Yamani ladies were much like their beloved shukusen. They were beautiful and decorated in silks. They looked delicate but their core was steel and their edges razor sharp. He had thought Kel had the steel core but now he could see the delicate silk that was her beauty and vulnerability.

"Kel, you look," Dom heard Neal start. "Amazing. Just amazing."

"More than amazing. That is perfect Lalasa," Dom stood and walked closer to see up close. Kel was certainly blushing now and made a quick excuse to get out of the gown and back into her own clothes. Dom put a hand on Lalasa's arm to get her attention. "Is that dress for sale?" He kept his voice down so not even Neal could hear him.

"It doesn't have a particular buyer yet," Lalasa informed him, dark eyes searching for something in his.

"I'll buy it, whatever its cost." Dom's voice was still low. "I'll come pick it up tomorrow. Just please, don't tell her." Lalasa nodded and went to help Kel take the dress off. After a bit Kel stepped out back in breeches, shirt, and tunic.

"Kel, you should buy that dress," Neal pointed to the bit of lilac silk still visible around the curtain.

"I inquired but Lalasa said someone had already asked to buy it." Kel sighed and glanced at Dom. "You seem to really have an eye for these things. Too much time studying the ladies…" Dom watched Kel smile but it didn't quite go all the way to her eyes.

"I have sisters." Dom informed her. "Older sisters. You don't escape not knowing what women should wear for their bodies." He could see she didn't believe him but he usually wasn't looking at women for their clothing when he did look at women.

"Perhaps you could find the buyer and talk them out of it?" Neal offered nodding to the gown.

"That's silly. It's just a dress and she's going to make me at least one like that," Kel said moving her hand up to cover her shoulder. Dom wasn't even sure she knew she was doing it until he took her hand away.

"You're a hero, Kel. You earned that scar and it is nothing to be ashamed of." He resisted the urge to bring her hand to his lips to kiss it. Instead he managed to put her hand back on her lap without holding on uncomfortably long. When Lalasa returned to them, Kel had managed to compose herself and Dom was able to pretend that picking out gowns for Kel was all he was thinking of. If he noticed Neal's smug smile for the rest of the time at Lalasa's or that Neal offered absolutely no opinions of his own after that, Dom didn't mention it. Instead he quietly slipped Lalasa a purse of coins for the gown before they left, mentioning again he'd be back for it the next day.


	8. Chapter 8

Neal paced his study a frown creased in his forehead while he gnawed on his lower lip. He had gone down to the city just after Midday to ask Lalasa if she would take a higher bid on the lilac silk gown. She needed that gown. Not only did it make Kel just look radiate but he had never seen Dom so entranced by a woman before. He imagined Kel would be upset he had somehow managed to get the dress but she would wear it anyway at one of the Midwinter parties. Then Dom would see her, and he'd be so in awe of her that perhaps he would bridge that border between friend and lover. And thus Neal would be the hero that brought them together and Kel would have love in her life and she would know her body was beautiful and amazing. All because he had gone and spent a few more nobles on the gown than some lady. It was worth the price.

But the gown had already been sold, packaged up, and picked up by someone before Neal had gotten there. Despite begging Lalasa, and all of the ladies at the shop, he could not get the name or description of the buyer. When he begged her to make another Lalasa could only shake her head and explain she didn't have time with the Midwinter season starting. Gowns took time and she needed all of the time she had to make Kel's ordered gowns and those for the Queen, princesses, and ladies that ordered from her over the season. Neal was turned away and sent back home empty handed. His dreams of Kel and Dom falling into some sort of relationship over Midwinter came crashing down.

There had to be something else he could do. He had seen the spark in Dom's eyes when Kel had appeared in that gown. But that spark hadn't died as the rest of the afternoon had worn on. If Kel was a fisherman, Dom was a hooked fish. If Kel was a gale force wind, Dom was a ship at her mercy. If Kel was a… Neal stopped when he heard the door to his study open. Yuki stood there waiting to hear about Neal's plans. If Neal loved anything about his peppery Yamani Tiger Lily it was that she enjoyed meddling and plotting as much as he did when it came to trying to help people find love. She had taken part in the plotting to get Shinko and Roald to come to a mutual love.

"The gown was gone already when I got there," he explained. "Perhaps there is something else we can do?"

"Perhaps," Yuki gave a rare smile. "I just heard the most interesting tale from Keladry. I spent the morning with her, as you know." Her hands came together before her and she gave the slightest twitch of her eyebrow. Neal recognized the physical queues his wife was giving him and followed her out to the sitting room where a low table was already set with all that was needed for green tea and a few cakes. Karin sat at the table already, dressed in kimonos and nibbling on a cake.

"What is this interesting tale, my love?" Neal asked when they were seated and both had steaming cups of green tea before them.

"Keladry informed me she has been in love with a fairly unattainable man for quite a number of years. Ten years to be exact. She was telling me it was unfair for him to be so handsome, and nice, and now to give her such attentions as to stare at her with such admiration when she is dressed in a pretty gown." Yuki's eyes were focused down on the handleless bowl in her hands as she said it. After a moment her dark eyes flicked up to Neal's green ones to see if he was aware of her meaning.

Neal controlled his expression, a trick he had learned not from Kel or his wife but from four years of being Lady Alanna's squire. Of course he already knew that it was Dom that Kel wanted but thought was out of her league. Of course. But he had probably neglected to inform Yuki of such things and that his attempts to push them together had everything to do with the fact he knew they both actually wanted it. He gave Yuki a slow smile like it was dawning on him. Instead the smile was truly for the fact he was revealing in the idea that Kel had been very much aware of Dom's attention to her the day before and his attention to her body most of all. She had wanted to buy that gown after she had seen the effect it had on him. No, not even Kel was immune to wanting to keep hold of the item that helped her entrance the man she desired.

"Husband," Yuki gave him a warning look, her eyes snapping. "You knew this already." He sighed. Nothing got passed his beautiful wife. The controlled expressions worked on many people but had never worked on Alanna's husband George Cooper and certainly not on any Yamani woman.

"Kel may have told me when all of this started," Neal sipped at his green tea. He knew Kel loved the stuff and his wife drank it out of habit, but he could never get into it as much as the rosehip and orange peel tea his father always had when he was growing up. "She stills believes him unattainable even after he's stared at her so?"

"Even now she does not believe it is as more than friendship." Yuki confirmed as she stood to collect Karin. Neal looked at his daughter and sighed. She was completely coated in cake. He set his own bowl down and held out his hands to take Karin from Yuki.

"That will change. We just have to find a way."

**A/N thanks for all of the reviews, favorites, and follows. I also appreciate those just emjoying reading that don't feel the need to write a review and check the site often enough that following and favoriting seems silly (I'm one of those too). This was a short chapter but I plan to have another normal length one up by the end of the day.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Posted a bit early for deatbat because I know you're reading and exams suck.**

Dom's rooms never felt so small as when his sergeants decided to come and visit him the week before Midwinter officially started to evaluate performances and discuss any changes in training for the upcoming year. While it was only him and ten others, the room felt cramped to the point that he was thinking his tent when they were on the road was roomier, if only because he could raise up the sides and let the outside in. Inside the palace there were only window and with the snow and ice storms alternating for the past month, he wasn't about to open any of those. But it was drawing to a close, thank the gods. Not only did he want some air to breathe and some quiet, but over the course of the last few hours they had all drunk wine, cider, and water and he needed to relieve himself. They were just finishing up discussions when Dom decided he couldn't wait any longer and excused himself to the privy. Later he would wish he could have waited just a few minutes longer.

When Dom stepped out of the privy he noticed that his closet door was open and Wolset was holding up the lilac silk gown with a smirk on his face. The other sergeants around the room seemed just as amused. In his heart, Dom knew they had probably planned to prank him somehow by leaving something in his closet for him to find later and chances are it was still in there and he would find something later. But when they had opened the door and dug around they would have found the gown easily. It stuck out greatly against his shirts and tunics that hung along the walls.

"Why I can only think of two explanations," Wolset was struggling to keep a straight face. "Either the Captain has a lover who left this behind one morning, mayhap last Midwinter? Or the Captain has decided he'd rather be a lady this year." The other sergeants snickered and Dom fought back a blush.

"It's a gift," Dom started. He knew he'd have to explain or rumors that he was holding women's ball gowns in his closet would leak out to the other men and he wouldn't get a moment's peace. Not only would he not get a moment's peace but they might actually lose respect for him. He was fairly progressive as captains went but there were still very conservative men in Third Company.

"Aww, did your mother decide she'd rather have another daughter rather than a son and send it to you?" Wolset teased. Dom secretly promised to have him publically humiliated as he realized Wolset was the ring leader.

"Actually, I bought it for Kel." Dom cleared his throat to try and keep his voice clear of the nerves that suddenly filled his body. Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan was not a woman to disrespect within earshot of any man in Third Company of the King's Own. That also included any attempts to disrespect her body.

"You bought a gown for the Lady Knight?" Another sergeant, Osbern, appeared thoughtful while the others looked confused.

"Her Highness, Princess Shinkokami, insisted she get a new wardrobe for Midwinter. I went with, at my cousin's request, to help her pick more flattering gowns. She happened to put this one on and, well, men you'd agree she had to own it." Dom puffed out his chest wanting to appear manlier after announcing he had not only gone dress shopping with a woman but had also purchased a gown.

"Does Lady Kel know you did this?" Someone inquired. Dom refused to guess at who at this point. He didn't really want to look at their faces.

"No. I planned to give it to her the day before Midwinter. If we are still here." There was a blush rising to his cheeks he knew he couldn't stop as silence followed his answer.

"Captain," it was Wolset that finally broke the silence. "I'd give it to her now, just in case." When Dom looked up Wolset was carefully hanging the gown back in the closet and the others were filing out of the door. Wolset went to follow them. "And Captain," he turned and looked back at Dom. "Every man in Third Company knows she's your girl."

"She is not my girl," Dom replied carefully. He could see Wolset was getting ready to retort something. "But if I play my cards right, Sergeant," Dom cut off whatever Wolset was gathering courage to say. "She will be my woman."

"The cards are stacked in your favor, every other man has folded and you only face the dealer. Perhaps you should bet all in for once," Wolset winked and strolled out the door without looking back.

Dom couldn't help but smile. He had basically just received approval for a relationship with Kel from his own men. It meant a lot for them to back him up so wonderfully. But it also meant some of his fears dissolved. He had feared that his men would believe him disrespectful of their Lady Knight. He had feared backlash from his men about Kel being amongst them in her squire years. He had expected to hear comments about him having slept with her when she was a squire or something similar. Surely he would hear it from conservatives from court but he was starting to realize he didn't care. And Neal approved of the potential courtship or he wouldn't have tried to push them together.

And Dom was certainly aware of Neal's attempts to push them together. Neal, always with Kel in tow, was always trying to get him to go to one place or another. It might just be to join them for dinner or tea. It could also be for the practice courts. Then Neal would magically have some reason to have to leave and they would be alone together. Dom never acted on his now rapidly growing feelings for her. Or really, not rapidly growing, but he was more growing aware of his feelings more rapidly.

And why didn't he take those moments alone to bring up a courtship or make his move? He was scared. That's what it boiled down to. He was afraid he would scare her off. He was afraid it wasn't the right time. He was afraid of not doing it in the way she deserved. He was afraid she would reject him in the end and their friendship would no longer be the same.

Who was he kidding? Their friendship had already changed. They had been strained when spending time together. There was a tension they could both feel and Dom was certain it was because he had stepped up to the door that led to her and he hadn't done anything more than that. No matter what he did, things were not going to go back to the way they were between them. He knew he could leave things as they were and hope they could get close to the comfort they had had before sometime in the next couple of years or he could take a chance and possibly become something greater than friends with an amazing woman.

After a long moment, Dom realized Wolset was right. Kel deserved to have the gown before Midwinter started so she could still wear it even if Dom was called away. He sat down at his desk and prepared a note for her.

_Kel,_

_I have a matter I need your expertise and assistance in. I beg for your help. Please come to my rooms if you are merciful._

_Your humble Captain_

He waved a hand over the ink hoping that Kel would be at least amused by his note. He knew she would assume he was being over dramatic so she would come and help with whatever matter in the Own he would need help with. It was always something with the Own that had her come running because she loved the Own as much as Lord Raoul did. It wouldn't surprise him if she was chosen as Knight Commander when Raoul finally decided to retire. That would be another obstacle they would have to deal with if Kel decided to return his affections.

When the ink was dry, Dom folded the note and sealed it before sending it on its way to Kel. The moment it left his hands he fought the urge to chase it down to stop what he was about to do. He paced the confines of his room, all of his fears replaying in his mind. There was anxiety about if she said 'no'. There was anxiety of what would happen if she said 'yes'. Dom was known for his flirtations and always knowing what to say or do but that had been when he didn't actually care about the outcome. If the flirt worked in his favor then it worked. If not, he moved on to a new target.

Time seemed to stretch too long and Dom was fairly certain Kel had to have received the note over an hour before. He tried to stop himself from feeling absolutely crushed. Kel was probably busy, he told himself. She was always in demand and perhaps she wasn't even up at the palace. Her parents had a townhouse in Corus she could be visiting or perhaps she couldn't get away from whatever her previous engagements were and would come later. Another part of him whispered that she knew what he was planning, somehow, and that this was her way of turning him down.

One hour turned to two and Dom felt his heart pounding. He couldn't leave in case she came but the room was closing in on him. He paced and sat and then paced again. Just as he decided he needed to find some sort of paperwork for Kel to actually look at if she did arrive and when he did chicken out, he heard a knock on the door. His heart was pounding so loud he had to wait for a second knock on the door to be certain someone was there rather than his own heart playing tricks on him. He opened the door expecting to see Kel and ready to come up with some lame excuse. Instead he found a servant holding a note. He opened it there, expecting Kel to have an explanation or to be turning him down. Instead he found his uncle's precise hand asking him to come to the infirmary the quickest he could manage. Dom left at a run.

**A/N Feeling a bit evil...**


	10. Chapter 10

There was only one other time Dom was asked to come to the infirmary at his quickest and it was when Yuki had gone into labor and someone had to restrain Neal. At Yuki's request, Kel had been in the delivery room keeping her company so she had been unable to keep Neal from trying to burst into the room. Despite Neal being a healer, he was not allowed to help birth his own child. Yuki had said that it was bad luck for the husband to be in the delivery room. Dom also knew his uncle would never request him to come at his quickest unless it was very important. His already anxiety wracked mind was jumping to the worst conclusions. Was Aunt Winnie alright? Did Neal finally sharpen his tongue on the wrong person? Was it Karin? Only a year old, she would be starting to get into things. Had Neal not put his weapons up high enough? Had she hurt herself? Or perhaps it was Kel. Maybe his note had found Kel at the infirmary and Baird had realized Dom might want to know she was ill or injured.

Dom skid around the corner into the infirmary with the practice of years of being in the Own and responding to emergency late night calls. Immediately Dom's eyes fell on Kel, her face carefully blank but her eyes holding back unshed tears. In her lap was little Karin looking scared and clinging to Kel for all she was worth. When Dom tore his eyes off of them, he noticed Princess Shinkokami also sitting in the room with her face perfectly calm but the way she smoothed at her skirts told him she was nervous. Neal and Baird were nowhere to be seen.

"What's happened?" Dom asked looking between the two women. Already he knew it had everything to do with Yuki. Kel and Shinko made eye contact and then Kel stood and handed Karin off to Shinko with a bit of coaxing before she pulled Dom out the door with her.

"We went for a ride, just us women," Kel started. Dom realized she was still in her riding clothes meaning she hadn't had time to change. "We just wanted some quiet before Midwinter started with all of the parties. And we were on our way back." Dom could only stare when he saw the mask Kel always wore crack enough for him to see how distressed she was. "Spidren aren't normally so close to the palace. I don't know why they were so close but there were two of them. Shinko was the priority. Both of us knew that. But… but…" tears were starting to leak out of Kel's eyes. She shivered an immediately Dom pulled her to him to hold her. Either she was cold or just completely upset but both could be helped the same way.

"Neal is in with them?" Dom asked as Kel buried her face against his shoulder.

"He was so… quiet when he came in. He just handed over Karin and went in," Kel turned her head to tuck herself firmly under his chin and so he could hear her clearly. Dom swayed her slowly trying to assure himself that she was in one piece while trying to calm her down. He couldn't help but feel a bit guilty that he felt better knowing it hadn't been Kel. At the same time he wished it hadn't been anyone.

Dom knew the timing wasn't right. That this would be a bad moment to announce his intentions to court her and claim her for his own. He knew it wouldn't be the big romantic gesture she deserved. But he also knew she needed someone. He shifted so he could pull back enough to see Kel's face. She looked up at him, tears glistening on her cheeks. He closed the distance between their lips carefully and held her close while he gave her a thorough kissing. If it wasn't such a sad situation, Dom would have let himself think on how much more satisfying this was than every dream and day dream about kissing her. He would have let himself think about the way she clutched at his tunic and pressed her body against his. He would have marveled over how fragile she seemed and yet how strong she was as he pulled her closer. Instead he put those thoughts all aside to ponder later, and brought himself back to reality. Kel clung to him as he pulled back.

"Let's go keep Karin and her Highness company," Dom whispered moving to take Kel's hand. If she had anything to say about the kiss she kept it to herself, but her hand gripped his tightly as they went back inside.

Dom took Karin from Shinko without any fuss from the girl. Dom had made a point to be active in his cousin's daughter's life simply because Neal felt more like a sibling than his own siblings and Karin felt more like a beloved niece than the distant children his siblings had have. He paced with Karin, rocking her in his arms while Kel and Shinko spoke quietly in Yamani. By the time the door to the room Yuki was in opened, Karin was asleep against his shoulder and both women were quiet. Baird stepped out and closed the door behind him and shook his head when all three adults looked to him.

"She lost too much blood," Baird looked close to tears himself. "Neal is just taking his time to say goodbye privately."

"If I hadn't wanted to go riding," Shinko whispered.

"Stop that," Kel's voice was calm and reasonable. When Dom looked to her he saw her shoulders were squared and her chin was jutted out in the way that marked her at her most determined. She was determined to be the strong one and it wouldn't just be for Shinko but for Neal as well. He would have to watch her for when she needed someone to be strong for her. "If Yuki didn't want to go riding she would have said something. She always talked you out of things she didn't want to do."

"I know but I can't help but feel responsible." Shinko looked around and her eyes settled on Baird's desk. "Your Grace, might I have a piece of paper and borrow some ink and a quill. I'd like to send a note to my husband."

"Of course, your Highness." Baird pulled out a piece of paper and took out a quill and a bottle of ink for her to use. No one made any noise as she wrote her note and it was sent on its way. Roald arrived long before Neal made his appearance. Even then Baird had had to go and get him to remind him that there were living people that cared about him and needed him, including his daughter.

Neal came out of the room to find the waiting room full of his friends all there to support him. Dom watched him, seeing how pale he was, his eyes red rimmed from weeping. He would need someone to watch him, to keep an eye on him overnight and to watch Karin. Someone needed to be the cool head and help Neal through a funeral and the holidays without his wife. He would need to go to Raoul and request the time. The better part of nominally in charge of Third Company but in reality second in command to Raoul meant he didn't feel like he was abandoning his men.

Kel met his eyes from across the room. She had retreated to support Shinko when Roald had stepped forward to talk in hushed tones to Neal. She would do whatever was needed as well. Raoul was also her task master. Dom crossed the room, keeping his eyes on Kel. He handed Karin over and leaned in to give her cheek a brief kiss.

"I'll tell Raoul neither of us can do an assignment for a while," he whispered in her ear before he nodded to his uncle and strode out the door.

An hour later Dom stood in his rooms again trying to gather whatever he needed for a few weeks in Neal's rooms. It wasn't like he couldn't return to gather things he forgot, but it would take time and he would need to be there despite Kel planning on the same thing. Dom recognized that while he had liked Yuki and had welcomed her as family, they weren't as close. Neal had lost a wife, Kel a best friend, and Karin a mother. Dom was more sad for them than for Yuki. It wasn't heartless. She would be safe in the Peaceful Realms while those left behind were in mourning.

As Dom looked around one last time, his eyes fell on the lilac gown. Perhaps Kel would wear it next year but she would not wear it this year. He knew he too well. She wouldn't attend parties and she would probably spend all of Midwinter sitting in with Neal. He took the dress out of his closet and laid it out on his bed to admire it. Only hours ago he was looking forward to seeing Kel wear it and perhaps be on his arm when she wore it. Life had a way of throwing obstacles into dreams but that was how he could tell he was awake.

"Dom?" The door to his rooms opened to admit Kel. "My Lord said you came here to gather up some things. Are you planning on staying with Neal?"

"He can't be left alone," Dom turned to look at her and saw her eying the dress. "I meant to give it to you as a Midwinter gift."

"You bought it? You?" Kel came to stand by him.

"It might have been selfish, but I wanted to see you in it again. And since you wouldn't let me pay for dinner I had some spare money to spend on your Midwinter gift." Dom sighed. "I wish there was a better way to give it to you now but considering the circumstances. Happy Midwinter, Kel."

"I wish I had a reason to wear it this year." Kel turned to him and traced a finger over the seam on his tunic. "Dom, that kiss, the dress…"

"You don't have to answer now. I don't expect you to worry about this sort of thing when Neal is going to take both of our attentions." He captured her hand and held it.

"Dom, something tells me you don't actually need an answer," Kel gave him a hint of a smile. "We should probably hold off until Neal is in a better place though."

Dom knew exactly what Kel was thinking. Neal was overly romantic and overly dramatic at the best of times. At the situations where normal people would be depressed, Neal would be utterly distraught. She didn't want to flaunt their budding relationship in front of Neal when he had just lost his wife. Then again Dom doubted Kel would flaunt their relationship at all. He was the one who wanted to show her off. Kel would keep him sensible and grounded, and he would simply have to push her into being less sensible and grounded.

"You know we have to give him some credit for this…" Dom indicated how close they were standing. "He's been playing matchmaker since I returned."

"I thought so, but I only thought so because he found out that I had a crush on you." Kel blushed deeply.

"We'll have plenty of time to talk," Dom leaned in to kiss her forehead. "I'm going to go get established in Neal's rooms before he can think enough to argue."

"Dom," Kel caught up with him halfway down the hall. "I'm coming too. All of the things I need are already there." Dom hugged her around the shoulders and steered her out of the barracks ignoring the men gathering in the doors to watch them.

By the time Roald steered Neal into his rooms, Dom and Kel had shifted around the sitting room so they could fit two pallets without interrupting the space too much. They had tea brewed and were both sitting and waiting for him. They expected a protest from Neal about them staying. Instead Neal strode forward and captured Kel in a tight hug and just started to cry.

"She's gone!" He wailed into her shoulder. Kel took charge of him.

"Karin?" Dom asked Roald.

"His Grace decided they would take her for a few days. He thought Neal might need a few days to grieve without fear of upsetting his daughter." Roald sighed. "Are you two planning on staying put for a while?"

"Yes, both of us want to make sure we are available to him at any time," Dom turned to look at where Kel was holding Neal who now was weeping fairly loudly into her shoulder. "And I want to make sure I'm here when she needs it too."

"I'll have meals sent up and servants check in often. Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything," Roald clasped Dom's hand and then left. Dom closed the door and turned to see what he could do to help Kel who now sat on the couch letting Neal cry himself out onto her shoulder.


	11. Chapter 11

It was dark in his room but Neal didn't need a light to be reminded of Yuki at every toss and turn. He was supposed to be sleeping but how would he do that. He couldn't remember what it took to lay down and sleep anymore. How does one sleep? Just lay there and tell the body to shut down? It was so strange that the body needed to completely shut down to get rest. His body needed rest but his mind wasn't all for that plan. Lying in the dark gave him time to think. Part of him hadn't been shocked by the news. When a servant had come running for him, he had a gut feeling of what had been about to happen. He prayed he was wrong. He prayed and hoped and wished for injury at best. In the infirmary Kel and Shinko looked worried but none the less worse for wear. His father informed him that they had been seen to by his assistant and their injuries shallow cuts next to what had happened to his Yuki. She had fought bravely. She had killed her Spidren even after it had cut her so deeply in several places. And no, he hadn't been upset with Kel or Shinko over the whole thing. They had done exactly what he would have. Defend the Crown, defend Shinko's person at all costs. He would have given his life and he knew Yuki gave hers for her friend without more than a moment's regret. It was the harsh reality of the warrior class. Death was always a possibility.

Neal marveled as he laid in the bed, clutching Yuki's fan to his chest, that only a couple months before he had thought that Yuki had been the safe choice in love. That Yuki was safe at home and Kel would be the one he would eventually mourn if he managed to outlive her. But here he was reminded that even close to home the Immortals, the more vicious ones, didn't care about what was supposed to be safe. The Royal Forest was perfect hunting grounds for Spidren and close to the palace they would be able to pick off the gentry and their horses. Few Lords knew more than a few parlor tricks with a sword and true ladies were supposed to know nothing of martial arts. The fact both Spidren were good and dead made him feel a bit better. It was already settled in his mind that he would have to ask Shinko and Kel to help Karin learn the glaive at least. His daughter would learn to defend herself from the same young age that proper Yamani noblewomen did. When she would decide to leave the safety of his embrace for the big bad world, she wouldn't go unprepared. She'd have the same fighting chance her mother had, and perhaps more if he turned her training over to Kel.

It was enormously comforting to know that Kel was there for him, holding strong and steady as she always had, despite the fact Yuki had been her friend. What had Yuki said? Shinko and Yuki had found Kel and treated her like anyone else when they were on the Islands together. The other children had mocked her and teased her before her family was favored by the Emperor and then they had faked their friendships. Shinko and Yuki were the first true friends Kel ever had. And naturally Kel returned their kindnesses when they came to Tortall. She had been the one to introduce them and she taught Neal a great deal about the Yamanis before Yuki and he became too involved to avoid all sorts of misunderstandings. Kel would be hurting too. Perhaps he should go and check on her, offer his shoulder to cry on. But no, Dom was out there and despite the tension between them, he would let Kel break down and comfort her and Kel would not feel guilty about being inattentive to Dom.

The fact Dom asked for leave to come and spend a few days helping him adjust to this sudden change made him feel once again that Dom was a better brother to him than his own younger brothers. And he hardly knew his sisters anymore. It was odd how family had a way of taking its own shape. Speaking of family, he had to consider Karin. She would be distraught when she realized Yuki was truly gone but she wouldn't remember too much. He would have to save Yuki's things for her. Perhaps store them until she was old enough to wonder about her mother. Of course Shinko and Kel would tell her tales of her mother and teach her the culture her mother came from. But he also needed to think about possibly taking a position with the palace healers. He might be a knight but he could be a desk knight. He owed it to Karin to find a stable position and keep her arse out of harm's immediate way. Neal hardly noticed his eyelids were drooping as he thought. After a few more thoughts on the benefits of being a desk knight, Neal finally passed into Ganiel's hold.

_Neal stood in his study lost in a thought he couldn't even remember. When he turned he could see Yuki in the door. She gave that same twitch of the eyebrow and slightest nod towards the other room to indicate it was tea time and he was late again. He followed her to the low table and sat just wanting to look at her. Her dark hair was perfectly combed straight to her waist. Her peach colored skin was left unpowdered and her eyes left unlined. Her dark eyes still held a liveliness he could only imagine was deeply shameful in Yaman according to everything Kel said. She nodded to the bowl of green tea in front of him and kept an internal sigh to himself before he sipped at the bitter liquid._

_"__I am sorry that I had to leave you," Yuki told him quietly in her accented Common. "But I did my duty and I am not sorry about it."_

_"__Nor would I ask you to be," Neal assured her. "I just wish the outcome would have been different."_

_"__We can wish for anything we like, but that doesn't mean we can have it. And it certainly won't change this now." Yuki smiled at him, a rare true smile. "Remember Karin will need you."_

_"__As if I could forget," he felt the tears welling up in his eyes again though he swore he could cry no more after his outburst with Kel earlier. "Ai shi teru," he whispered. She got up and walked around the table to kiss his temple._

_"__And I love you," she sat next to him and let him hold her for what seemed like an eternity._

Neal woke slowly still feeling like he was clutching Yuki close to him. He could still faintly smell the scent of her hair. When he opened his eyes he realized he was clutching her pillow to his body his nose and the rest of his face buried in it. Of course it still smelled like her. He expected to wake up feeling bleak like there would be no light in his day, no reason to get out of bed. But for some reason he felt okay. He liked to believe that Yuki had visited him one last time in his dreams to give him the peace he needed. It seemed to make more sense than it didn't and he knew he wouldn't have the same feeling of being okay if he thought his grief wracked brain and heart had made it all up.

Looking out of the window Neal realized it was just dawn. It was rare for him to be awake so early but then again he had gotten a good rest despite everything. He washed up and changed thinking about how to start packing up Yuki's things. Roald and his father had helped him through funeral arrangements the day before, taking advantage of his numbness to get things done. As he finished cleaning his teeth and combing his hair he thought that perhaps Kel would know a good place to start and better ways to store things for best preservation. He walked out into the sitting room expecting at least Kel to be awake. She was always awake before dawn even in the most awful of times.

Instead Neal stepped out of his room into the sitting room to be treated to the sight of the pallets that had been on opposite sides of the room the night before, pushed together. And his cousin sleeping with Kel curled up against him. There were tear tracks on Kel's face, marking she had indeed broken down after she had put Neal to bed the night before. But there was a certain satisfaction he felt seeing Kel in Dom's arms. He could think of no better thing to make him feel better than knowing Kel finally had something she desperately needed, and of course he had gotten it to her in a roundabout way.

He could only imagine how Dom had finally approached Kel or when. He refused to think their newfound open love for each other came in the middle of the night when Kel was crying. He didn't want to think Dom had finally come to his senses after seeing Kel distressed. But Neal also knew the powerful effect Kel's true emotional distress on any man that cared about her. He had felt the pull to care for her himself only two months ago. But then that was a very distant feeling now. He knew he and Kel would never have worked the way he and Yuki had. Kel was far too patient with him. And he knew she'd never look as comfortable in his arms as she did in Dom's.

He had wished it would have revolved around that damned lilac dress that Lalasa had created. How perfect for Kel to be stared at in awe by the man she desired? How perfect of an 'I told you so' would Neal have had with her beauty and adoration. But already the sensible Kel in his head told him that first of all, a man who only liked her because she wore a dress was not a man she wanted, and that she didn't have the gown anyway so he could stop thinking about it, thank you very much. Since he was fifteen the sensible voice in his head was always Kel. And he certainly had never met anyone more sensible with both feet firmly nailed to the ground.

A knock on the door drew his attention away and Neal answered thinking it would be his father checking to make sure he survived the night or Roald coming to apologize once again. He knew Shinko and Roald both felt somewhat responsible. They knew the positions the people that cared about them and owed duty to them often put themselves in and the consequences of such things. Neal would have to assure him somehow that he in no way held them accountable for Yuki's passing. The spidren that had tried to prey on her was accountable and no one else. And it was already dead.

Opening the door he found a young servant with a cart. Of course breakfast would come to him now that he was grieving. Everything was convenient when one was emotionally devastated. He stepped aside to let him through to set the trays out on the low table that had replaced his dining table the moment Yuki entered his life.

"Is there anything else I can get you, my Lord?" The servant asked quietly after he finished setting out his burden.

"Perhaps you could have a bath brought up in an hour or so?" When the servant nodded Neal gave him a coin for his trouble and closed the door after him. When he sat down to one of the trays he noticed how hungry he was. He hadn't eaten the night before, or really since breakfast the day before.

Neal was halfway through his eggs and bacon when he heard the rustle of blankets that told him one or both of his guests were waking up. He waited a moment in silence because he knew he was out of sight on the ground at the table. A couch blocked the pallets from his view and him from their view. The shifting continued for another few seconds before he heard his cousin's voice. "Kel, you should get some more rest."

"But Neal…" came the quiet reply.

"He's doing alright. He's eating breakfast." Dom's voice was calm and quiet. It stunned him to think that Dom had been awake. He had been certain that Dom was asleep that whole time. But then again hadn't he heard Dom's former squad say it was nearly impossible to prank Dom. He knew all of the tricks and if they snuck into his rooms at night or in the morning, the prank was always undone before it got too far. Neal suspected Dom had mastered the art of faking being asleep and that he was actually a fairly light sleeper. It only made sense since he was in the Own and they had to be awake at a moment's notice. And that Third Company was infamous for pranks.

"Get some sleep Kel," Neal sighed, moving his eggs around his plate with his fork He hadn't wanted to announce himself and make them uncomfortable just yet, but it seemed like he would have to. "Goddess knows you need it." There was more rustling of cloth and then first Dom, then Kel came to sit at the table. "If you want tea, you'll have to make it. I didn't want to wake either of you with unnecessary noise."

"You always make unnecessary noise," Dom told him good humored. "It's one of your charms."

"Very true," Neal gave a tired smile. "Then I shall make some tea. I think we'll all need it today."

It was quiet for a few moments as Neal stroked the fire back to life and put the teapot over it. He found Kel and Dom watching him concern showing through both of their attempts to have blank masks. "I'm okay," he told them. "Well, not okay but I'm not going to break either."

"Do you want us to leave?" Dom met his eyes.

"Not really. I don't feel like being alone in these rooms just yet." He sat on the edge of the couch while he waited for the water. "You two looked comfortable this morning."

"Kel was cold, I was being a gentleman," Dom gave a charming smile. Immediately he received a slap on the shoulder from Kel. "Would you prefer we sleep apart?"

"Not at all. But I'm going to save my 'I told you so' for a time when I feel like throwing a big party in my honor." Neal grinned for a moment and then sighed. He had sat at that table with Yuki plotting these moments not that long ago. Now Kel and Dom were together and she wasn't here in person to see it. He would have to be doubly annoying about it when he had the energy just to make sure she was covered. "Oh, Kel! I ordered a bath up for you. I figured you'd want to clean my cousin's sweat off of you." He cringed.

"I don't sweat," Dom said loftily. It seemed Dom had at least caught on that Neal would rather banter than talk about why he was doing better this morning. "I glisten with fresh mountain dew."

"Is that what you call it?" Neal laughed outright. "Pigs sweat smells better than your mountain dew."

"Pigs don't sweat and you're both silly," Kel informed them both. "Neal, sit down. I'll finish the tea." She paused as she passed him. "And thank you for ordering the bath." She hugged him around the shoulders with one arm before forcefully hauling him up and giving him a shove towards the table. Neal smiled and went. Yes, his heart ached. Yes, he felt a bit numb. The woman he loved was gone and no one would have blamed him if he had crumbled and sat in his rooms and cried. It was devastating to lose someone so special. But at the same time, he knew Yuki was right in his dream. Karin needed him. And what he needed to get to a state where he could be alright enough to be alone in the rooms that were marked by Yuki's presence, what he truly needed, was Kel and Dom and the playful banter the three of them all had. That, and the mug of steaming black tea loaded with rosehips and orange peel that Kel handed to him.


	12. Chapter 12

What Dom heard most in the hushed whispers of people at the memorial gathering for Yuki was how well Neal was handling the death for, well, for Neal. Dom himself questioned where the melodramatics and passionate outbursts were. But then again, like he was in his love for Yuki, Neal was quiet about his grief for her too. He gave a sad smile and thanked people when they came to give him and Karin their condolences and he would share stories about the wonderful person she was, but he was not retreating and he was not crying. It was true that Neal had seemed to go out of his way to have good humored banter with Dom and with Kel and that his laughs sounded a bit forced now and then, but Kel had agreed with Dom that they would do anything Neal wanted. Mostly that included sharing two pallets pulled up against each other in his sitting room while he slowly removed Yuki's personal things.

With Kel helping Neal, they packing and stowing of things was cathartic. Both of them shared stories with each other about the woman that Yuki had been while carefully folding and wrapping the item that reminded them of it. Dom sat back in those moments and just listened. He sat waiting for the moment where things got a bit too heavy for either person and would comfort whoever appeared to need it most. And mostly he sat with Karin keeping her entertained while the two of them worked through what needed to be done.

It took a week for Neal to officially pack up all of Yuki's clothing, jewelry, and personal effects. He left behind the decorations that she had hung on the walls and a few personal things he had chosen to keep of hers. The rest were boxed and shipped to his parents' townhouse for Karin when she was old enough to understand. By the time they had completed the task, Neal no longer needed them around all night and all day and Midwinter had officially started.

On the first night of Midwinter, all of Neal's friends save Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami forewent the feasts and parties and joined Neal in his rooms for a quiet get together. Dom joined them, in Kel's company and ignored any inquiring looks when he and Kel got a little too close. While Neal knew of their courtship, they had been quiet about it during their mourning. It was when Dom wandered away from Kel to join Neal as he spoke to several other friends that Dom found himself on the spot.

"You two look cozy together," a dark haired, dark eyed man Kel had said was Sir Faleron of King's Reach, Sir Merric of Hollyrose's elder cousin, commented with a nod back towards where Kel sat with the other ladies chatting. She looked comfortable amongst the women but she also looked out of place having opted for breeches and a blouse rather than a gown.

"We happen to have known each other for nearly ten years. I'd hope we can be comfortable together," Dom gave his easy charming smile.

"What my cousin means," Merric told Dom, obviously more comfortable with him than Faleron was, "is that if you hurt our dearest Protector, we'll have you drawn, quartered, and hung off the side of the palace walls before you could pray to the Black God." Dom grinned at the redhead. They had come to an understanding back during the war in Scanra and when they had served Kel in her mission to kill Blayce the Gallan.

"Why that was perfectly understood. However, have you considered if it ever even crossed my mind to harm her, either physically or emotionally, that she is perfectly capable of making me regret it all on her own?" Dom could feel Kel's eyes boring into him from across the room. She always seemed to know when he mentioned her even if she couldn't hear him.

"Besides, Dom and Kel are good together," Neal ignored the looks that his own friends gave him. Of course they expected a fit from Neal about his cousin pursuing his best friend. There had been a lot of bets before Yuki came around that Neal would pursue Kel at some point. And while it was hardly fitting or proper for him to think of such things now, they still expected him to have some sort of possessiveness over his Lady Knight.

"Why thank you, Sir Meathead," Dom didn't even dodge the playful punch Neal threw his way.

"You know what still bothers me," Neal turned to face Dom completely. "That stupid lilac gown. I know it's silly, I mean it's gone and I should forget about it. But I still keep thinking about how perfect it was."

"A gown of Yuki's?" Owen quipped before one of his friends, Esmond Dom believed, smacked him in the shoulder.

"No, it was a gown at Lalasa's that Kel tried on for us and it was just… I've never seen her look like that," Neal sighed. "Yuki and I thought to buy it for her but we couldn't talk Lalasa out of selling it to someone else. She only let Kel try it on to show her what the style would look like. Dom saw the gown too. He could tell you how amazing she looked."

Dom felt himself flush with a bit of embarrassment as he met Neal's eyes. "Of course I could tell everyone, but you'd have to see it. It's just, Kel and I thought it was a bit gaudy considering that we don't plan on attending any parties this Midwinter." Dom waited a moment, and then two before Neal gripped his arm.

"You! You bought the gown?" Neal looked back at Kel. "And why won't you two attend parties? You don't have to stay in just because of me."

"Neal, she lost a friend too," Dom turned his gaze fully onto his cousin. While Neal seemed to understand for the most part that Kel had also lost Yuki, Neal probably didn't fully grasp the idea that Kel had lost one of the few women in her life her own age that understood her and was truly a friend to her. On top of that Kel had been there when they were attacked and Kel had not been able to save her friend. That had cut her deeply. It was something they discussed at night when they were alone and he could hold her.

"Oh," Neal blushed. "Right." No one spoke for a moment then Neal added, "is it just sitting in her closet until next year then?"

"It's there along with all of the other ones Lalasa delivered yesterday. Until there's an occasion she feels is worth a gown, I don't believe we will see any of those." Dom shrugged. "Next year will come soon enough."

"So how does a relationship with the two of you work? You're called out for most of the year and she's called out on other things all year round," Merric pointed out.

"Not to mention men in the Own can't marry," Faleron piggybacked on his cousins comment.

"For now, we aren't talking marriage. We are simply letting things fall as they may and we'll deal with where it all lands." Dom didn't mention he had yet to return to the Own's barracks even though Neal had evicted them. He liked sharing a bed with Kel though they hadn't done more than cuddle and kiss. Mostly they talked late into the night. He didn't plan on returning to his rooms much at all, honestly. He figured he'd warn Raoul of the change of his location when he was done with his leave time. Kel's rooms were close enough to the barracks he wouldn't be too far away if an emergency call came up. She did, in fact, have the closest rooms to the barracks available, second only to Raoul's rooms.

"That doesn't sound particularly fair to her," Seaver frowned and his concerns were echoed in the faces of everyone but Neal.

"Actually, Kel is the one who told me if I try and quit the Own she'll go to Raoul and tell him to chain me to my desk." Dom grinned. Kel had threatened him when he had jokingly brought up that she was so beautiful she could charm a Captain away from the Own. Not only had the compliment worked well enough to get her to threaten him because she half believed him, but it also proved to Dom that Kel really wasn't like the other women he had courted who would have asked him to turn in a resignation right then and there.

"That hardly seems productive," Neal offered. "I mean, chaining you to your desk. You can't command from the desk unless they somehow load you onto a wagon with it and tote you everywhere."

"The point is, Meathead, that Kel doesn't want me to quit," Dom rolled his eyes. Neal could be so impossible and it was getting harder to be nice to him when he made such an effort to be annoying.

"I give her a year before she changes her mind about that and wants you to marry her and give her children," Merric kept his voice low.

"I'll bet on that. Two gold nobles it's two years," Neal held out his hand to shake. Before Dom could stop them, all of the men besides himself had a bet on when Kel would ask Dom to quit the Own. Dom made absolutely certain that was the wording, that Kel would ask him to quit the Own. He was fairly certain, if the time came to become more than sweethearts, that she wouldn't have to ask him at all. And he was fairly certain they would all lose the bet in the end because Kel would never ask anyone to quit the Own. The horrified look on her face when he had teased her told him as much.

Anything else that would have been said about it to Dom was lost as something collided with his leg. Looking down Dom saw Karin clinging to his calf with a big silly grin on her face. While Karin had most likely noticed her mother's absence, she had not seemed to grasp the forever part yet. It was likely she wouldn't grasp it. He reached down and scooped her up much to her glee. "Let's go see your auntie Kel," he told the little girl in his arms. Without a glance back he carried the giggling girl over to the ladies and made himself comfortable next to Kel while he entertained Karin.

"He'll make a good father if he doesn't wait until he's an old shriveled up man before quitting the Own," Faleron folded his arms.

"They only just started courting this week. Let them plan out their lives," Owen chided. "And no one made you give up your career for marriage and children. Don't go pressuring him. It's not jolly of you."

"When did you get so smart?" Neal teased him.

"Well the Stump is my father-in-law, and my former knight master, I had to learn at some point" Owen grinned. Neal had teased him mercilessly when he had announced his betrothal, his love match, to Lady Margarry of Cavall. The fact that Lord Wyldon had not only accepted the betrothal and approved of it without having a heart attack, and then publically approved of it was cause for wonder amongst all of those who pitied Owen's choice. Only Kel had not teased Owen and had stood up for him. Neal suspected that that was the main reason Owen felt honor bound to stand up for Kel at this point in time.

While Neal had taken part in the bet, he really didn't think any pushing had to happen. He could clearly see as all of his friends did that Dom loved Kel and that Kel, even through her blank mask, loved Dom. And the way she watched him play with Karin told Neal that she did think he'd be a good father as well. But no pushing had to happen. Dom would love Kel the best he could even when he was riding with the Own. And Kel was already receiving more positive personal attention from a man that she probably ever had in her adult life.

He smiled at the pair they made and at his daughter sitting between them now. He had intended to ask earlier that week if anything happened to him if they as a couple would raise her. He had intended to ask, but his own overthinking had stopped him. It sounded bad for him to be thinking about his own possible demise right after his wife's death. People actually thought him dramatic enough to do it too. But he had grown up since the dream with Yuki. But he also knew he would have to make that plan in case he had to go on duty before he could find a palace job. A knight's job was always with a chance of death. And he was a single parent now, and provisions had to be made for his daughter. He would just have to make sure when he asked that he gave his reasoning for why he was asking now.

Come the end of Midwinter, Dom and Kel faced the inevitable separation. It was bound to happen as Third Company had been stationed at the palace for two full months. It had been a long stretch for Raoul even with a wife to return home to. Dom and Kel said their goodbyes in private and then Dom exchanged a few words with Neal about looking out for her. Exchanging one more brief kiss with Kel, Dom mounted up in front of his men and led the way out. Neal knew Dom and Raoul had planned to head south to deal with the winter raids on the southern coast. They would be gone at least until spring if not until summer. Neal doubted Kel would be as upset by the distance and time as everyone suddenly expected her to be. She had a lover now, but that didn't change that she had known for years how to cope when Dom and Third Company, or any of her friends were away. And, Neal reasoned, she had dealt with Cleon being away for longer without the melancholy everyone suddenly expected.

Kel caught his look and gave him a wry smile. "Don't you know people can't see things both ways? Either I'm a woman, or I'm not. If I'm a woman I'm prone to terrible dramatics and hysterics. And since Dom has revealed that I am indeed a woman…" she shrugged.

"Some women are prone to hysterics and dramatics. You should see my sisters if you thought I was dramatic. But no, we'll be just fine. By the way, I wanted to discuss what age you started training in the Islands. How young is too young to start Karin?" Neal slung an arm over Kel's shoulders and steered her inside away from the frozen air.

**A/N: And so concludes everything I had written over the weekend when my husband was gone and I didn't have to work. Updates will be a bit slower again, my apologies. There is a brief chance I will be able to get more done towards the end of the week as I will be having some very very minor procedure done that keeps me from my job for awhile. I love all of the reviews and favorites and follows, and just watching the reading numbers climb on the traffic meters. You guys are all amazing.**


	13. Chapter 13

Dom couldn't help but glare at his men for the probably thousandth time that day. The men were bored. There had been no pirates spotted in a while and Raoul was considering moving on. However, while he was making that decision, the men were bored and bored men in the Own liked to pick on whoever they could. Raoul was certainly off limits but their Captain was free game. Dom couldn't remember ever having the courage to pull pranks and stunts on Flynn. But then again Flynn had earned a very high degree of respect and had been well established by the time Dom had joined Third Company. Moving into his second year of command, Dom was still a babe in the world of leading a company. And right now, all he wanted to do was lead his company off of a cliff into the waters below.

He had found out only earlier that day, by accident, that they had been taking all of his letters from the mail bags. He had thought it odd to not receive letters from Kel or from Neal. It was odder still that he hadn't received the letter from his mother at the end of every Midwinter asking if he had managed to scrape up a woman yet and get rid of this mad notion of being in the Own.

When he happened to be perfectly available to the courier very early in the morning Dom had thought to be nice and have it all sorted before the men even woke up. As he dug he found a letter from Neal and opened it expecting there to be multiple pages but instead it was very short. It was simply a question of why he couldn't find time to at least write Kel back. She was beginning to worry that they were so busy they could use aid. Dom stared at the letter. Kel had been writing him. Neal had been writing him. Who else had been writing him? Had he even seen the mail bag at all since they had left Corus? No he hadn't. And he had written to Kel and Neal thinking they would want to know he was settled, giving them news. This sounded like they had received no word from him at all. So someone was taking the letters he was sending out and the letters he was receiving. The question was if his men still had the letters or if they had destroyed them. Either way he felt that a little torture would be well overdue.

Inspections. Surprise inspections at that. Dom went into every tent and went through every bag to inspect the condition of all of his men's gear including clothing. Whether Raoul was simply amused or thought it was a good plan, he joined Dom. Punishments were handed out for ruined uniforms, rust on weapons and armor, horses that were not properly groomed, tack the was not cleaned. Most of all Dom gripped a bundle of letters that had been found at the bottom of Lerant's bags. It was not Dom who gave out that punishment, but Raoul who had found them and had handed them over to Dom without a word. While Raoul gave Lerant several long hours of listening to why what he had done was wrong, and asked for all accomplices, Dom sat in his tent and read every single letter.

Kel missed him. Neal was doing better and better each day. His mother wanted to know if the rumors were true about his devotions to the Lady Knight. Karin had discovered her mother was gone. Kel was being put on border patrol in the east for a few months. Baird had offered Neal a job in the infirmary at the palace and he had accepted. Three months' worth of letters and news were in his hands. He had at least four letters from his mother each getting more and more insistent that he was avoiding her because he was too busy with his trollop of a lover. Dom ignored the constant slights his mother had against Kel as he penned a reply that his letters had been withheld from him and yes he was courting the Lady Knight and went on to extol all of her virtues to his mother including that she was a proper maiden.

Dom wrote the details of what had been discovered to both Kel and Neal writing his own customized apologies into each. To Kel he wrote more of a romantic apology that he might have caused her to worry and he would find some way to make it up to her soon. To Neal he detailed the revenge he planned to get on his men. And when all personal letters were answered, he went to find Raoul who looked every bit as serious as when he had found the letters in Lerant's bags.

"Nothing that had been urgent," Dom informed him sitting down. Raoul nodded and stared into the fire. "I think I'm going to have to be strict for quite a while until they learn there are consequences to making my life harder. Flynn didn't tolerate any of this type of thing done to him and none of it to go this far. I think I've been too lax."

"Flynn had much the same problem when he accepted command. He had fought alongside these men in their squads and as a squad leader. Then one day he was Captain and he didn't want the camaraderie to change so he tried to stay the same. He stiffened up when he had had enough and then over the years he was able to relax enough that the men felt comfortable joking with him but not pulling stunts like this on him." Raoul nodded to where Lerant sat at the edge of camp sulking like a teenager. "He claims to have acted alone but I don't believe him. I've docked his wages for a while and he'll be on extra duties until Midsummer at least."

They sat in silence for a long time before Dom thought of something. "Sir why didn't you warn me? About being too lax and the consequences?"

"Dom, if I had warned you, would you have listened? No don't answer that. Every young man has to learn that lesson for themselves. It sticks better." Raoul sighed. "So, you never did tell me how this whole romance with you and Kel came into existence. Last I checked you two were still dancing around each other like some sort of country jig."

Dom grinned at the change of subject. If anything, it helped take his mind off of the growing unease about the distance he'd had to put between himself and his men by being stricter. As Dom talked over the details of how he had Kel had come together, he pondered on the man that had come before him as Captain of Third Company of the King's Own. Perhaps being so distanced from everyone was why Flynn had been able to leave so easily. Why he had never felt fully like a brother in arms as the other men did. But then again he hadn't left so easily. He had been in the Own for years. Now he was in his mid-forties and marrying some widow who had taken a liking to him. They would never have children of their own together. She had had a son and a daughter both old enough to be married off. Did Dom really want that life?

Only a year before he would have jumped at the chance to stay in the Own for as long as possible. The Own was family, the Own was important, the Own did something worth-while in this realm. He was part of something bigger than himself, bigger than his family fief and name. He was doing something real when he hunted bandits and highwaymen. He was doing something real when he built towns back up after natural disasters. That was far more real than sampling wine and making sure the transport made it to the market safely. But now, after Yuki's death he began to wonder how short life could be. As a commander he was always under target. Soldiers would break if their commander wasn't around to tell them what to do unless someone else with a cool head was amongst them.

He had wanted a family one day. A wife and children. Not a whole brood of children like his mother would want him to have or what was expected of nobility, but one or two. He wanted to be there to raise his children. He could certainly do that with Kel in the picture. She'd make an excellent mother. And now that Neal had made a point to entrust Karin to the two of them if anything should happen to him, it got him really thinking of him and Kel as a couple that could indeed take care of children together. But how long was too long to wait? He didn't want to give up his career yet and certainly Kel would not be ready to jump into an immediate marriage after only a few months of courting, and only a couple weeks of that in person. The rest seemingly without a word from him at all.

By now Dom had forgotten what he was talking to Raoul about. He wasn't sure what words were coming out of his mouth but he knew he was still talking. His mind was now almost fully focused on how long he should wait to talk to Kel about marriage and children. Too soon and he would abandon his career while scaring his lover. Too late and he was too old to be an active father or severely injured or dead from an accident in the Own.

Raoul stood and clapped him on the shoulder. Dom realized he must have finished speaking and the look of approval in Raoul's eyes told him he had said something right. Dom stood with him and felt himself blush at the thought of earning Raoul's approval for something he didn't quite remember saying. He was certain it was about him and Kel. And perhaps he had actually told the story about how he and she had started. But he wasn't sure when his mind had been so preoccupied elsewhere.

"Kel doesn't spook easily. If you are thinking of being a father, you might want to talk to her sooner rather than later," Raoul informed him, taking Dom's hand and giving it a firm shake. "I'd hate to lose you so soon, but since it's Kel I won't talk you out of it."

Dom was grateful the growing dark hid his deep blush. He had been thinking out loud to his Knight Commander rather than relaying the right story. Not only was that an embarrassment but now Raoul was aware of his plans. And worst of all, he had been right. Kel wouldn't spook easily, not if he explained himself. And they had known each other for over ten years. They had been friends, comrades, co-conspirators on Sakuyo's feast day against Neal. Sure the kissing, holding, and sharing a bed were new. But they knew each other inside and out and that was more than most couples did in their brief courtings.

"I'm thinking we should head back towards the palace at a leisurely rate and see what sort of things we can find to get involved in on our way north," Raoul added as he turned to walk away.

"Sir, I believe that is an excellent plan," Dom smiled. If they were heading north, it would take at least a month or two with the trouble they could find, but they were on their way back to the palace in the end and he would be back to see Kel soon.


	14. Chapter 14

Neal felt his eyes starting to twitch. Not just one eye, no, both of them. The muscles behind his eye lids contracting and moving the lid up and down without his expressed consent. It was a mixture of being overly tired, drinking waking tea, and listening to the complaints of a noble who belonged long dead with his views. The man in front of him with a long gash in his right arm and a pretty good lump on his head had had the audacity to insult not just Kel but all Lady Knights and all women training to be knights or warriors of some kind. His mouth had run him straight into Sir Faleron of King's Reach, a friend of Kel's, a progressive, and knight master to one of the women this man was insulting. After a fairly short duel where the full blooded knight and excellent swordsman, Faleron, had won without breaking a sweat on his behalf, the man had been loaded up on a stretcher claiming the gods had turned from him and Tortall and he had carried on about his injuries all the way to the infirmary. Now he had stopped saying that the gods had turned from them and began to say how Faleron had cheated, just like all of the ladies that had become knights.

"Who do you think they sleep with to get through the exams? I think Duke Turomot took quite a liking to that harlot Keladry of Mindelan. Let her have an extra go at her exams, stayed in the chapel through the night with her for her Ordeal. I bet she had an easy time not making noise since that all dried up man probably doesn't have any oomph left in him."

"My Lord, I believe your story has changed once again. Did the Gods turn their glorious faces from us for doing exactly what the Great Goddess and Mithros intended or did Sir Faleron cheat by tumbling his sword so it would do you in quicker?" Neal managed to stop himself before he asked if perhaps the man had meant Faleron had slept with him in order to get him to lose, but he refrained from that particular insult. "And I would love to see you inform Duke Turomot of Wellam that you believe he slept with Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan when she was only thirteen and again when she was eighteen. Perhaps you would be so kind as to shut your mouth so I can work in peace and we can both get away from each other faster."

"Oh I didn't realize that even our realm's finest healers had soft spots for the Lady Knights. Does Keladry call out your name when you fuck her or does she forget which one you are? Or perhaps you prefer Alanna, I believe you were her squire for four years. Did you and her peasant scum husband take turns?"

Neal stayed his hands, only inches away from the man's skull having just examined the large knot on his head. A minor concussion and the gash was fairly shallow. He could heal the man but he no longer wanted to. Before Neal could tell the man to go on his way the door opened and Neal's father walked in. Neal suppressed a groan. Baird took his vows very seriously and would heal this man with a polite nod and shoo him on his way. Neal very much wanted him to live with the effects his words. The man looked to Baird and smirked, perhaps knowing that Neal wasn't about to heal him or that Baird would send him out.

"I believe I speak for everyone in this infirmary when I ask you to leave now." Neal looked up in shock. His father was not looking at him but at the conservative. His green eyes didn't snap or flame the way Neal's did when he was angry but there was a sharpness there that Neal had always imagined would produce sharp daggers the moment another toe went out of line.

"But I haven't been healed yet," the man whined.

"Perhaps you should have thought of that before you opened your mouth," Baird informed him. "Son, will he die anytime soon if he leaves this infirmary?" Baird's eyes never left the man's to address Neal.

"Not unless he opens his mouth around the wrong people again," Neal couldn't help but feel eternally grateful for his father in that moment. With Kel on border patrol and Dom gone, there were few people that understood him well enough to know when he needed a hand and when he needed space. Right now in his life he needed a hand. Karin was crying at night wanting Yuki to sing her the lullabies she was used to. Neal would sing them but he butchered Yamani words. Shinko had tried to teach them to him but had stopped when Neal couldn't get the first phrase after nearly three hours of practice. And then there just seemed to be an influx of idiots at the palace recently, and they all ended up in Neal's presence for some reason or another. Neal hardly realized the man had left until his father came over and put a hand on his shoulder.

"You did well, refraining as you did. I know you wanted to say more and worse things," he sighed. "You didn't see this nonsense centuries ago. But there was that Cult of the Gentle Mother. They sort of brainwashed everyone into thinking women were only good for sitting in their solars tatting lace, stitching embroidered pictures, and bearing children. They frowned upon any woman who went against those views so they lashed out. Now we are living in the aftermath of some man who wanted women to be easier to control." Neal looked up at his father. Of course his father would know to calm him down with, no not kind words, but facts. Yes, history and facts. Seeing that Neal's attitude was changing slightly Baird grinned at him. "I have tea and cakes in my office. And Sir Faleron asked for an update on the man he pummeled. Would you like to tell him that he was sent away without a healing, or should I?"

It was after dinner by the time Neal was able to race to the royal nursery where Karin spent her days. She was in good company with Shinko and Roald's first born, Kai. Usually he was there before they ate dinner but Baird had taken some extra time to get him to talk and calm him down. He sat and read to her from a children's stories book for a couple hours before he dressed her for bed. So began the nightly struggle. First she would start to whimper when he went to blow out the candles in her room. Then she would start crying softly. When he started to walk away she'd start getting louder. When he'd leave the room she'd start shrieking. There was nothing he could do to stop it. He couldn't give her what she wanted to hear and his own father had said it would be best to let her wear herself down a bit. But it was hard to hear her crying and the random word "Mama" thrown in every now and then. No amount of holding her and rocking her would change what would happen when he tried to leave.

Neal sat in the sitting room for a while listening and then, not being able to stand it anymore he went into his study and pulled out the goblet he used for wine and began to pour himself a cup. If anything it would help him relax more after such a hard day. As he sipped at his wine he felt a bit alarmed as he suddenly heard the cries cut off in Karin's room. Leaving the goblet on his desk he practically ran to get to her. What if she had choked and was turning blue and dying? What if someone had snatched her? What if there was a spidren that had come in through the window to finish off everyone Neal could possibly love?

Neal stopped dead outside of Karin's room and listened. Instead he could hear a woman singing in Yamani, the same lullabies he was used to hearing. It was like a wave of comfort washing over him, filling every fiber of his being, and drowning him all at the same time. Yuki was back, his Yuki. He knew not even death could keep her from loving them. Karin was quiet now and Neal was drunk with memories. He remembered Yuki singing that song to him when he had nightmares from war. She would be lying in bed next to him and wake him, then she would sing the lullabies and kiss him, and they would make love.

Karin was asleep now and Yuki, his Yuki, was walking towards the door out of the dark. Neal caught her and pinned her back against the wall kissing her for all he was worth. He pressed his body against hers as he kissed with all of the fire and passion and love he could muster. Her hands were against his chest pushing him back, begging him for air. After a few long moments, he obliged that much.

"Neal," she breathed out. "Look at me. Tell me who you see," the gentle voice commanded in a tone that made him wish he didn't have to obey. He knew that voice. It didn't belong to Yuki. It belonged to his best friend, Kel. In his love drunk and overly emotional state he had not been able to tell the difference in height and build and had pretty much mauled her. He stared down at her not sure what to do. He had her pinned up against the wall, her body pressed against his in all of the wrong ways. Her lips were swollen and red with his enthusiastic greeting. In that moment a thousand things came to his mind including the fact that Yuki was gone and not coming back, that he had been far too ready to believe she could conquer death and come back to him, that Kel was perfectly able of being able to throw him off and beat him to a bloody pulp, that Kel and Dom were courting and he would owe some sort of explanation to his cousin, that the look in Kel's eyes was not of anger or frustration but simple understanding and concern.

"Kel," his face felt hot and he knew he was blushing when he said her name finally. He stepped back letting her off of the wall and away from his body. "I'm so sorry, I just, I…" he looked down at his feet wishing with all of his heart he had waited a few moments longer to get a good look at who had been singing. A small voice in the back of his head told him it wouldn't have mattered. He wanted it to be Yuki, and so he would have seen Yuki. "It might be best if you leave now," he whispered.

"No," Kel's firm reply made him look up at her. She was adjusting her clothing, and Neal was faintly aware that he had been the one to mess it up, tugging at it in his passions. He also became aware her clothes were coated in dust and worn from travel. Glancing at the door he saw her saddlebags and realized she hadn't even gone to her own rooms yet after having just arrived back at the palace. "Let's sit and talk? I'll make some tea." She steered Neal into a seat and went about making tea for him and herself. He was aware that Kel's own cheeks were barely tinged pink but that was as much of a blush as almost anyone would get out of her when she was controlling her emotions. Perhaps she had wanted to turn tail and run too but duty and friendship kept her bound there with the person who had violated her.

"Did you just get in?" Neal asked trying to find some sort of conversation that was safe.

"Yes, Roald met me in the stables and said you might need a friend to check in on you," Kel poked at the fire. "Has Karin been crying every night?"

"I can't learn the lullaby to save myself," he sighed. "I can speak Scanran and Kyprish, but Yamani eludes me. And she won't sleep without the lullaby! I don't know what to do." He was grateful Kel had managed to turn the conversation away from the fact he had mauled her so thoroughly. Part of him wondered what would have happened if she had not made him pay attention to who she was. He knew his hands had been tugging at her clothes to remove them. He also became aware of the intense feeling of pleasure that was now ebbing away from his body from having a woman pressed up against him in all of the right ways. He knew when Kel told Dom about what had happened, he would be a dead man. Or perhaps Kel would keep it from Dom, and chalk it up to a misunderstanding that did not need to become even more misunderstandings. Perhaps if he explained to Kel that Dom would not approve of Neal's behavior even if it had been grief induced, she would see it was better to forget all about it. Who was he kidding, even if Kel agreed not to tell Dom, he would break like he was undergoing torture when he saw Dom next. He couldn't keep something like this away from his cousin who was so much like a brother to him.

"Yamani is difficult. Perhaps you could have a music box made that does the music for the lullaby when I can't be here," Kel offered up. It took Neal a moment to realize what she was talking about.

"That's a good idea," Neal sighed. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you have been busy. How is working in the infirmary?" Kel kept him talking as she made up some tea. When she handed him the mug he was somewhat aware that the contents were not the normal blend he drank at night. The fragrance was different. There was something in the undertones of the flavor as he drank. After several deep drinks he realized Kel was not drinking from her cup. As his eyelids started to fall he realized Kel had drugged him, probably with one of his own concoctions. He kept them on the shelf next to the teas so they could be added as needed. A bit of a sleeping draught would account for the change in smell and taste. He stared up at Kel with the most accusing look he could muster as his muscles started to slump. "Come on dearest Neal, let's put you to bed." The last thing he remembered was Kel hauling him up off of the couch and draping his arm over her shoulder before Ganiel graced him by drawing his dark cloak across Neal's mind.


	15. Chapter 15

Neal was aware it was late when he finally was able to push himself out of the drug induced coma Kel had managed to lock him in. Glancing out the window he was able to note it the sun was high up in the sky and it was probably close to or after midday. His brain and movements felt slow. His eyes unfocused. His ears like someone had stuffed wads of cotton between them. Gods, was this what that sleeping draught did to people? He had never been on the receiving end of it before now. No wonder people would rather fight insomnia than ask for it a second time. Somehow he managed to stumble through washing up, getting changed into different clothes, and out the door towards the sitting room. His eyes fell on Kel immediately and he was reminded of what had happened the night before. But it was the person sitting next to her, that held her as she napped against him, that he wished wasn't there quite yet.

Dom was back, only a day after Kel. The grip he had around her waist to pull her practically on top of him was enough to tell Neal's slow drugged brain that Dom had truly missed her. The gentleness he displayed in letting her sleep against his shoulder and chest showed Neal he truly loved her. He knew he would deserve the beating Dom was going to give him. He had pushed them together and now only five long months after that, he had done something stupid that could have pulled them apart. Dom glanced up from Kel to Neal and the moment his blue eyes met Neal's green ones, Neal knew Kel had explained things. Dom was angry with him but there was a look of pity there too. That was worse than a beating. He wanted the beating. He wanted Dom to hurt him enough so he learned Yuki was not coming back and Kel was not a substitute for her.

"Good morning," Dom's voice was soft and reasonable. "Would you like something to clear your head a bit?" He nodded to the tea kettle hanging over the fire. "It should be fairly strong. I think Kel made it to stay awake a little longer, so it's been steeping a few hours."

"Kel was awake all night?" Neal managed to mumble out.

"It would appear so. She was worried about you and Karin." Dom stopped and took a calming breath and seemed to be counting. To Neal, that meant he was far angrier than he was letting on but he was controlling it to either let Kel sleep or because he knew Neal wasn't fully aware the night before. "Clearly you need a keeper."

"I haven't been sleeping well, and yesterday was stressful. Did she tell you Karin has been crying every night no matter what I do because I can't sing that damned lullaby? Did she tell you that Yuki used to sing that lullaby to me when I was stressed or having nightmares from the war or my Ordeal? So when I heard the crying stop and someone singing that lullaby… I just wanted it to be Yuki so bad." He stopped when he saw Kel start to shift and waited for her to settle back against Dom before continuing. "I wasn't thinking clearly, but I don't expect you to know how it feels to wish with every fiber of your being that you've just been in a nightmare for the past half of a year."

"Neal, stop, I understand that as much as I'm angry about it. What I meant was you need someone to be here to make sure you aren't losing control. To watch for warning signs and help you along." He stroked Kel's hair and then shifted out from under her. After fussing over her for a few moments to get her settled, Dom straightened and turned to look at Neal. "Let's talk, in your study maybe?"

Neal took his tea and followed Dom into his study. There on the desk was the goblet full of the wine he had poured for himself last night. Dom looked at it and then raised an eyebrow at Neal. Neal knew what he was thinking. He was thinking that first mages shouldn't drink. And second that Neal's behavior the night before could have been caused by alcohol induced misunderstandings rather than grief. He wasn't about to argue the first part but I could put his cousin's mind to rest about the second.

"I didn't drink it, or really more than a sip or two. I was meaning to drink it to calm myself down while Karin was wearing herself out on a temper tantrum." Neal sighed. He went over to the window, looked down and tossed the contents of the goblet out. "What are you planning to berate me about now?"

"Not berate you, though I am angry. I wanted to make you an offer." Dom sighed and closed the door between where Kel slept and where they were and then lowered his voice further. "I quit the Own."

Neal wasn't sure if he had heard correctly but he spit a mouthful of tea back into his mug and really looked at Dom. He wasn't in uniform like he should have been for riding in that morning. He also guessed by the way Dom had kept his voice low and had closed the door than he hadn't told Kel and didn't want her to hear if she even was remotely awake enough to notice he was missing. Perhaps Dom had intended to tell her but had found her not in her rooms though gossip would have her back at the palace already. Perhaps he had tracked her to Neal's rooms and had found her awake and worrying herself over Neal. Perhaps she had taken a bit but had finally broken down and told him everything. Perhaps he had turned any need to talk to her about his decision aside in order to take care of her and convince her sleep was what she needed to feel better.

"Why quit the Own? You were just made Captain last year." Neal sat down at his desk still feeling the effects of the draught. Dom leaned against it carefully and Neal noticed the odd pull at his breeches and shirt marking something underneath of the cloth it was catching on.

"Raoul and I had a long chat. I could have stayed on a while longer until Kel was ready to settle down. And until a couple weeks ago that's what I intended to do. However, certain events have made some decisions for me." Dom noticed where his eyes had gone to and he sighed before hiking up the edge of his tunic and shirt. Underneath of the shirt was a large bandage that wrapped around his midsection and over part of his chest. Neal guessed he probably had bandages down at least his right leg too."

"What in Mithros' name got a hold of you?" Neal stood, every bit the healer and started to inspect the area the bandages covered.

"Hurroks. A whole flock of them or herd. I don't know what you call a group of winged horses," Dom settled into the chair Neal pushed him into and let Neal swamp his wounds with magic.

"It's a difficult question certainly. We usually refer to winged creatures as flocks and horses as herds but as a hurrok has both traits…" Neal murmured as he inspected. After a few moments he pulled back and whistled. "This is going to take quite some time to heal."

"More time than they allow a Captain in the Own," Dom sighed. "I won't hold any grudges about it. I was planning on talking to Kel about the possibility of a betrothal before I get too old to chase my children around one day." Dom set his clothes back in order and stood. Now Neal, more awake and more aware, realized Dom was a bit slower and a bit stiffer but his movements were still steady and confident. It would take more than a raking by the herd/flock of hurroks to keep him down.

"Did the men at least kill the hurroks before they got too far with you?" Neal asked sipping at his tea. It might have seemed like a simple yes or no question but really he was asking how the events had unfolded and Dom was certainly aware of Neal's peculiar ways of asking things.

"Oh they went right for me. We had word of them in the area so we scouted for them, found them, and planned an attack. You know how they can't land really so they were up in the trees." He shuddered. "We planned to surround them as best we could and do a volley of arrows. Except as we got into position, one of the new recruits forgot the need for quiet. Suddenly they are all awake and swarming down on us. I remember seeing their red eyes really close and wishing I had not taken this mad job before I just blacked out. My Lord said he didn't expect me to be alive after seeing the damage they had inflicted on me through my armor. If I hadn't been wearing armor I would have died. Several healers were involved in pulling me back from death. My Lord has had my resignation since I finally woke up and we all had a chat with the healers about my healing times." Dom gave a small sigh. "It pushed me a long what I had been thinking already."

"Immortals," Neal stared into his tea, the darkness reflecting in his eyes. "Some are grand, beautiful, wonderfully intelligent creatures and others are monsters that only ruin lives. I'm glad Kel didn't lose you to a hurrok like I lost Yuki to a spidren." Neal sighed after a moment. "Your mother will never let you near the palace again to court Kel once she learns you are no longer in the Own."

"Well we are keeping that hushed for now," Dom pointed out. "And I figured I could be your so called keeper. I'll move into the spare room, you will hardly see me since I'll most likely actually move in with Kel, and I'll keep an eye on Karin and you."

"Can you sing Yamani lullabies?" Neal drawled out in his normal wry tone.

"Actually, Kel taught me one when she was a squire. She thought it would help me impress the ladies," Dom blushed and started the verses of the song Neal had heard the night before. It sounded different coming from Dom's deep singing voice but nonetheless it was soothing and probably would work on Karin.

"Alright, you're hired." Neal didn't bother questioning how Dom had picked up on Yamani better than he, an educated scholar, had. It was simply one of those things he resented Dom for and appreciated all of the same. Neal stood and stretched. "Now I'm sure my father would like me to report in and do some real work today. Take Kel back to her rooms and let her get some real rest."

Dom nodded and went to the door. Before he could get far, Neal stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Dom, if you need some help with pain or sleeping better let me know. It's the least I can do for you." With that Neal walked past both Dom and the place where Kel was sleeping and left to find a meal and then to work.

When Neal arrived back that evening, Dom was there with Karin and the door to the spare room was open to reveal Dom's things. Kel was inside of that room busily moving things around. Dom pointed Neal to the table where dinner was waiting and then continued with his game that Karin was enjoying so much. After he was done eating the meal he went to sit down close to Dom.

"She's being quiet," he nodded to the room Kel was in. She had not said anything to Neal nor made an appearance other than passing the door at random.

"She's upset. I told her about quitting and the injuries. Now she's insisting I sit out here and not harm myself any further." Dom grinned. "I haven't even gotten to the other part of the conversation yet."

"As far as she's concerned, we both need keepers I'd guess," Neal shared his grin.

"My dearest Sir Meathead, that is probably the most accurate statement for anyone who meets the two of us," Dom sighed.

"I guess it's Lord Domitan now," Neal looked him over. Captain, even Sergeant had been a better title for Dom than Lord. But eventually he would have to have reverted back to the title. Dom grimaced. "Yeah, I'm not sure I like the sound either. How about 'His Most Prestigious Keeper of the Meathead'," Neal puffed out his chest only to chuckled when Karin squealed in delight at Dom's attempts to tickle her. "And Daughter."

"Keeper of the Meathead and Daughter…," Kel poked her head out and just stared at them. "Now that deserves a much higher pay than a room in his suites." There was a slight humor in her voice but her face was still carefully blank of emotion.

"He's keeping me here away from my mother and close to you," Dom stood and went to her, pulling her into his arms. "And that, my dear, is the best pay I could possibly imagine." He nuzzled her for a few moments before she gave in and threw her arms around his neck to let him kiss her. Dom turned Kel slightly so he could glance over her shoulder at Neal. The question was plain, did Neal need him any time soon? No, he didn't so he waved Dom off and gathered up Karin. They would do better further away from Dom's room as he pulled Kel inside and closed the door tight. Dom made a short reappearance around Karin's bedtime to take her from Neal, tuck her in, and sing the damned lullaby that Neal would never get the words to, before disappearing back into his room.

In the morning, Neal had the guts to open the door slightly. He expected to find clothing tossed everywhere and the bed a complete mess. He expected them to be tangled up in the sheets and blankets, too exhausted to have sorted them out before bed. Instead he found a neat pile of clothing folded at the edge of the bed and Dom clutching a mostly clothed Kel to his mostly bare chest which was still covered slightly by a bandage. Neal stared at them for a moment wondering if perhaps Kel had held him back from it simply because he was injured or they had both refrained because they were in Neal's rooms. Neal didn't realize he had been staring long enough for his presence to be felt. Dom's blue eyes opened barely and he looked over at Neal.

"Will you take Karin to the royal nursery today? I'm running a little behind." Neal asked. He at least had an excuse. Dom nodded his response. Having confirmation of that, Neal started to close the door. Before it was fully closed he could see Dom shifting out of the bed, kissing Kel the whole way.

As Neal wandered down to the infirmary, he pondered what he would have done had Yuki survived the wounds she had been given. He would have been protective of her. Perhaps angry if she had held back on telling him about it if she had been able to conceal it. And certainly he would have been a thousand times more intimate with her feeling that she had come too close to death. But Yuki hadn't survived and Kel wouldn't baby Dom the way Neal would have done to Yuki. Just like Dom wouldn't baby Kel if she was the one that was injured. They might not allow each other to do certain kinds of work but at the same time they would be confident the other person wasn't about to break. It was a good way for them to be. He needed both of them to be strong. If either of them were to break he would feel his world had officially turned upside down.

**A/N: I love all of my readers. Without all of you, this story probably wouldn't have made it as far as it has. All of you are awesome. Every last one!**


	16. Chapter 16

Dom woke for the third morning in a row with Kel in his arms in his bed. He knew she usually practiced her glaive before dawn, but since he had returned she had forgone dawn practices and routines to sleep comfortably with him. He felt lucky that she was able to share his bed without Neal being upset or without disrupting her schedule too much. Perhaps if they ever decided to make love, they would start sleeping in her rooms. But for now, since bedtime only consisted of kissing and talking, they were safe where they were. The morning intrusions that happened each day as Neal asked for Dom to take Karin to the nursery made him even more sure that not only was Neal trying to catch them at something but that they would have to spend those nights away in order for Neal not to catch them.

Just like clockwork, Neal gave a quiet knock and then pushed the door open his customary four inches so he could see in. Dom gave an internal sigh, he didn't quite want to be right that Neal would intrude every morning. But then again, these were Neal's rooms and he was supposed to be assisting the meatheaded man. He should have the right to at least come and ask for said agreed upon assistance.

"Just wanted to ask if you would…"

"Take Karin to the nursery? We can just plan on that every morning if you'd like," Dom whispered. For a second Neal looked stunned and then nodded.

"That would probably be a good plan," he closed the door and waited a moment before shifting his body slowly out from under Kel. His wounds made his movements a bit slow and stiff but he was lucky. He knew he was lucky to be alive, to be mostly undamaged, and to one day be able to put most of the pain behind him as just scars. He assumed, like Lord Wyldon, his scars would ache when bad weather was coming. After all, the man had been raked by the same type of demonic immortal.

It was said that immortals came from the dreams of mankind. That someone dreamed up these creatures and the gods created them from the dreams. It reminded him that he had once asked his uncle, after one of his first battles, if Ganiel was responsible for all dreams because he felt punished and his prayers to the King of Dreams had gone unanswered many nights in a row. His nightmares had been enough to keep him awake at night. Baird had told him that while Ganiel was responsible for the dreams, he didn't create all of them. Humans needed to do things themselves without the gods stepping in to control every part of their lives. If the gods did that, the humans were merely puppets, and that certainly wasn't the way things went. The gods didn't plot who lived and who died. They didn't stand over tournaments of honor. They didn't control what crops were harvested, which livestock were slaughtered, and what ended up on people's tables.

Dom was reminded, as he dressed for the day, that gods usually announced when they were involved in someone's life. Neal had written him many interesting details about how his knight mistress spoke of the Great Mother Goddess making appearances and speaking directly to her. He was also reminded of when Carthak had faced its most recent destruction at the hand of Daine the Wildmage through the Graveyard Hag. But the gods had given many signs before their involvement in that matter as well. And then there was his own beloved, not touched by a god but by the entity that controlled the Chamber of Ordeal. He, himself, had heard the Chamber speak through the seer child in Scanra in its whispery breathless voice as it addressed Kel. The gods were certainly active in their world, but not in the way many men seemed to believe.

And as Dom let himself out of the bedroom to scoop up his energetic charge, he hoped the gods wouldn't interfere in her life more than as a blessing here or there. Neal had had enough heartache and drama in his life to last him through his elderly years until he reached the Peaceful Realms. His daughter being any god's vassal would only make his hair go white, fall out, and turn to dust before it even hit the ground.

As Dom walked down to the royal nursery a new thought hit him. In all events, in all of Tortall's history and any he remembered beyond that, the gods did not directly involve themselves in anything. They might guide or put forth their hopes, but in the end it was up to humans to create the change. While gods might oversee, humans made their own destinies. The thought made Dom feel oddly powerful. This was only an injury, and it would pass. Neal had only suffered a loss, but his heart would heal. Karin would hurt more as she grew but she would be surrounded by family and loved.

Feeling empowered, Dom marched back to his new quarters and borrowed a piece of paper, a quill, and some ink from his cousin. At his cousin's desk he penned a long letter to his mother explaining not only what had happened to him to cause him to quit the Own but his new plans. He also pointed out that despite her initial thoughts on Kel, she would put him in an ideal position to remain home and help around the vineyard if they so chose to settle down eventually. While she would remain a Lady Knight, he would have to be stationary with the children. And if they decided to stay at the palace, he would act as a liaison between Masbolle and the Crown in hopes to supply the palace with their wine. He insisted though, at the end of it all, that he would be staying at the palace to assist his cousin with anything he needed until such a time where Neal no longer needed him to stay on or he and Kel became serious enough to start a family soon.

When he signed his name at the bottom he turned to see Kel leaning on the door frame watching him with an odd look in her hazel eyes. He felt a surge of heat go through his body and grinned wildly at her. Before she could move he was on her, pressing her against the doorframe and kissing her with all of the passion he could muster. His body burned in the places where it pressed against hers.

"Bed, now," he whispered in her ear when he broke away for air.

"But Dom, you're still injured… and what if… Neal…" Kel was blushing in earnest now.

"Let me prove I'm not nearly as injured as you think I am," he breathed out as he nibbled kisses along her ear and neck. "And Neal is at the infirmary. I just brought Karin down to the nursery. We are alone…" he nuzzled her shoulder. "The only argument you can give me to make me stop is to tell me you aren't ready." He pulled back as he said it, to look right at her eyes so she would know he was being serious. "Just say the word and I'll stop."

Kel's eyes were wide; her face let no other emotions leak as he looked her over. He would get nothing until she decided on what she wanted to say. And then she blushed, her cheeks turning dark pink against a summer tan.

"I want to, but I don't know how this goes. I don't know what I'm supposed to do," her quiet whisper held a bit of shame in her normally confident voice.

"That, my dear, is something I can help with." He smiled, took her hand, and walked her back to his bedroom sincerely hoping Neal would stay gone until at least midday.

**A/N: Sorry that it took me a few extra days and that it's fairly short. My husband and I are getting ready to move in two weeks and I had minor surgery last week that left me in a small bit of pain. Writing doesn't always go well when you are in pain and have limited use of one of your arms. You are all so freaking awesome!**


	17. Chapter 17

Dom chuckled quietly over dinner as Neal explained how one of the men of the Own, particularly from Third Company, had come into the infirmary earlier. Tarred and feathered, died blue on the exposed parts of the skin, and bleeding from the places he had tried to pull the feathers off. As Neal explained how well adhered the feathers were, he sobered immediately. Over and over again he had drilled into people's minds that pranks should never cause pain. Pranks should never make anyone bleed. Pranks should never lead anyone to the infirmary. Of course, now that he was gone and couldn't quite give his opinion, he simply shook his head and hoped it was only a one time incident.

"How did you get the tar off then?" Dom asked, refilling his own glass with a bit of the wine he had stashed away from Masbolle. In Karin's bottle he tipped a little more grape juice. He had her believing that was what he was drinking too.

"A little ice and some scraping. Poor man was told to visit the baths to warm up after," Neal chuckled. Before he could continue on anymore, a knock on the door interrupted them. Neal quirked an eyebrow at Dom. "I thought you said Kel was busy tonight."

"She was. And you know she has a key. She doesn't knock anymore." Dom hauled himself up, a difficult task as they still ate at the low table seated on cushions. Neal refused to give up that particular tradition as it set him apart, and because it was easier for Karin to eat at the same table without requiring a special chair. For Dom it meant the stiffness he experienced in his body from his injuries caused him a bit of difficulty in getting up from and sitting down at the table for any and all meals. Neal and Kel had both learned, in the past month, he wouldn't allow them to help him, nor would he appreciate someone beating him to his appointed task, which at the moment was to answer the door.

Dom opened the door and frowned at the man on the other side. He was the same height and build as Dom with the same dark hair and blue eyes, though his nose was a bit different and his eyebrows a bit bushy. He wore his dark hair long, tied back into a horse tail. There was little Dom could say to his oldest brother, Sir Garrett, after the last letter he had received from the man had told him to give up his mad life of bachelordom or chasing men and to come home and do his rightful duty to the family.

"Dom, who's at the door?" Neal demanded when Dom continued to only stare.

"It must be for you," Dom turned and announced before he walked back to scoop Karin up and disappear into her room with her while Neal went to see for himself.

"Go away," Neal snapped when he made it to the door to see who was on the other end.

"I probably deserve that," Garrett sighed. Neal had written him after Dom had confided in him what had been written to him. Garrett's response back had attacked Neal for his marriage to a foreigner, thus introducing spoilage to his golden family line.

"You do, go away. You aren't welcome here," Neal tried to close the door but Garrett held up a letter at the last moment.

"A letter from my mother to Domitan. She wanted to make sure he got it personally after the midwinter letter fiasco. Neal debated for a few seconds about slamming the door shut anyway and magically barring it so no letter could be tucked under or around it in any way shape or form. "Nealan, I really think the three of us should talk."

"Your views on our lives are not welcome," Neal retorted. "And if that letter says anything other than blessings on his choices, then it can be thrown in the fire where it will do more good." With the Neal closed the door and sealed it with the magic he had wanted to. He stood on his side of the door and waited. After a minute, he heard the footsteps move away down the hall and then disappear altogether. Neal waited another five minutes before pulling the magic off of the door, in case Kel came by, and then went to find his daughter and Dom.

"What was he doing here?" Dom asked the moment Neal stepped into the room.

"He had a letter from your mother and wanted to talk to both of us," Neal stepped up to help Dom wrestle the nightshirt on over his squirming daughter. She wasn't fond of getting ready for bed even if she was tired.

"Where's the letter?"

"Still with him, I believe. I told him he wasn't welcome here."

"I know what he said about Yuki and Karin," Dom whispered. "He was out of line and I'm sorry he said anything like that to you."

"You aren't him so I won't accept your apology on his behalf. I don't know if you've noticed, Dear Cousin, but you might be a better person than most of your siblings. Rank and personal standing mean very little if you are an arse and you know that already. I doubt they've learned that." Neal picked Karin up and carried her to her new bed. Now that she was two years old they had traded out her cradle for a small low bed. It enabled Neal to sit down next to the bed to read to her from the books of fairy tales they had accumulated.

"Might be better?" Dom teased. "My dearest Sir Meathead, that might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me." He waited a moment and then left to go clean up dinner. He would return when Karin needed her lullaby.

The next morning Garrett was waiting for Dom the moment he stepped out with Karin in his arms to take her to the royal nursery. Dom ignored him as he strode down the hall. Karin watched him, however, over Dom's shoulder with her almond shaped brown eyes curious. Garrett did not say anything as he followed. Instead he shadowed along behind Dom as he let himself into the nursery and chatted with the nurse maids for a few moments and accepted a hug from the shy Prince Kai before leaving. He said nothing still as Dom did not return back to the rooms but went down another hall to Kel's rooms. She had not come by the night before but she had said she wouldn't if it got late with her mother who had insisted on kidnapping her for the entire day before.

"Captain… I mean, Lord Domitan," a male's voice caught his attention as he knocked. When he turned he found one of Kel's friends, Sir Merric of Hollyrose.

"You know you can call me Dom," he tease the younger man. "What brings you down this hall? I thought you avoided the areas of the palace closest to the Own's barracks."

"My cousin, Sir Faleron of King's Reach, was just moved down here and I was roped into helping." He gave a small smile. "So things are going well with Kel, I hear she doesn't stay down here much anymore."

"She likes to make sure I'm still in one piece," Dom grinned at the younger man. "I was actually hoping to find her. She didn't come to Neal's rooms last night so I thought she might have come in late and stayed here."

"She's not in there," Merric nodded to the door. "Fal tried to commandeer her as well. Perhaps she stayed at the Mindelan townhouse. I think that's where her parents stay when they are in Corus and it would make sense for her." Merric suddenly looked past Dom to where Garrett was standing. "Is this your brother? Certainly not another Queenscove."

"Sir Garrett of Masbolle," he stepped forward and offered a hand. "Just visiting my younger brother and hoping to meet his lover as well." Garrett nodded to Kel's pretty much abandoned rooms. Merric seemed to sense the tension between the two men, especially when Garrett mentioned wanting to meet Kel. He gave his own quick introduction and faked hearing Faleron call him from down the hall.

"I'm not letting you meet her," Dom said turning to look directly at his brother for once. "You don't necessarily have the most progressive beliefs and I'm not about to let you try and destroy her the way you destroyed Neal when he married Yuki. Just give me the letter and leave us all alone." For a moment there was silence between them before Garrett reached into his pocket to draw out a crisp sealed letter.

"My views aren't uncommon," Garrett offered as he held out the letter.

"And I know them, so you do not need to repeat them. I especially would not be remotely interested in having you repeat your views to Kel, whom I plan to court and marry, or Neal, who doesn't need your horse shit views about his late wife or his daughter, and I especially don't need them around Karin who lost her mother this year and despite your idiotic views, is family!" Dom growled. "Not to mention the heir to the throne is married to a Yamani woman of the bluest blood, of which Yuki was also one of the bluest blooded Yamanis, and of which the future King will one day be of half Yamani descent. Your views are not uncommon but they are becoming that way." He moved to brush past his brother and curse as his wounds ached with his rise in temper. With the ache came stiffness that left him unable to get far very fast. Garrett pounced on first sign of physical weakness.

"You don't seem the least bit physically able to be caring for cousin Nealan or his daughter," he pointed out.

"I do just fine," Dom started to say but stopped when he saw Garrett look past him and his eyes go wide. When he turned he found Kel at his side standing next to Princess Shinkokami. Both wore the Yamani style kimonos and Kel was even wearing a touch of face paint.

"Is there a problem here?" Shinko asked in her slightly accented Common looking between the two men.

"No problem at all, my brother was just leaving," Dom gave her a smile. Shinko smiled back briefly before her face became smooth again. He glanced at Kel to find her eyes roaming over the exact spots that were stiff and ached on him.

"Since you will be without company then, I should like to invite you to tea. Roald would prefer I bring in others to expand our conversations on tactics and tracking. We seem to have hit a stalemate with our current topics." Shinko bowed to him and Dom gave a stiff bow back. "Oh, no, please Domitan, I know your wounds still grieve you some. Please, bowing is silly when you are courting one of my best friends and Roald would agree."

"Actually, your Highness," Garrett started still looking a bit awed. "My brother and I need to talk."

"We've talked. You've done your duty," Dom patted the letter. "My darling," he looked to Kel and knew instantly she read his look.

"Cricket, please excuse me, I believe Dom is in pain and I keep a stash of the balm for his wounds in my rooms. It will only take but a few minutes." Kel went to open the door and stepped aside to let Shinko precede her into her rooms and then led Dom in. After a moment, Garrett followed uninvited. Kel made sure that Shinko was settled and then led Dom into her bedroom where she kept the balm Neal had given her to soothe any pains Dom had remaining.

"What is your brother wanting to discuss with you?" Kel asked, her voice low.

"I presume it's about my choice to court you, not return home, and assist with a half breed child from a barbarian that sullied the Queenscove line," Dom muttered back. Kel only pursed her lips in response, likely biting back disgust or a retort. More or less, he assumed, she was more offended he thought Yuki had been dirty somehow and that Karin was anything less than the gods' blessing to Neal. "I told him I know his views, I don't share them, and that should be it." He let out a sigh of relief as she touched a particular spot under his shirt with the balm. Before she could move away he kissed her thoroughly. "I missed you last night."

"It got late, so I stayed at the townhouse," she gave him one last kiss before moving to finish rubbing the balm in and then put it away. "I can tell Shinko another time if you are in need of some peace and quiet."

"My dear, isn't Yamani tea time all about peace and quiet?" Dom took her offered hand and followed her out back to the sitting room where Garrett was looking at some of the decorations and Shinko was settled on the couch that looked outside.

"Lovely view of the courtyard and stables, is that where the King's Own are?" Shinko asked rising gracefully.

"Naturally. Sir Raoul liked to keep me close when I first gained my shield because he wanted to keep abusing my math skills for his paperwork. Now he has another squire to torture." Kel went to pull the lower shutters closed.

"I invited Sir Garrett to tea. He seems interested in the conversation," Shinko kept her voice even as both Kel and Dom looked at her. "Perhaps we should get going before my husband believes we've abandoned him?" She led the way out of the room. Immediately Kel fell in beside her and started whispering in Yamani. Shinko responded in kind and Dom was trying to catch some of the words when Garrett fell in beside him.

"Do they chat like this often, in front of you?" He nodded to the two women.

"Only when they have something private to say now," Dom responded. "If you insult their highnesses or Kel…" Garrett held up a hand to stop him.

"Best behavior, I promise." He was quiet for almost the rest of the walk before he started again. "You didn't say that you were in close with the royalty."

"Kel grew up in the Islands with the Princess and with Yuki. When she returned here she was in page training with Roald. Neal tends to be closer with Roald though since they had more time and classes together both being mages." Dom shrugged. Knowing the royalty didn't seem all of that important to him. They were people he just happened to get on well with and were quite fond of his lover.

"Was that Prince Kai that hugged you this morning?" Garrett asked suddenly.

"Yes, Karin spends her days in the Royal Nursery. You know Yuki died protecting her highness," Dom felt a bit of gloating was needed. Honor building deeds and who you knew impressed his family. Not to mention sometimes meant more than pedigree or conservative views.

Garrett stayed true to his promise to remain on his best behavior throughout the entire tea time, following Dom and Roald's example with how they sat and dealt with the tea in the handle free cups. He stayed quiet and listened to the conversation that flowed easily between the four of them about battle tactics, supply problems, tracking, and current problems facing knights, Own, and Riders. As they were saying their goodbyes, Shinko stopped Dom at the door within full earshot of Garrett but not of Kel.

"Kel told me you bought her a dress over midwinter she did not get to wear due to the sad circumstances," her eyes shadowed though her face gave nothing else away. He envied her ability to hide her emotions slightly. "I wanted to say, if you are not still in too much pain, my husband and I are having a small but formal gathering before announcing that another royal child in on the way to the entire court. I'd like for you and Kel to come," she gave a shy smile. "And encourage her to wear that gown."

"Congratulations," Dom felt a bit of pride that came from being one of the first few to know, being included in the small gathering, and also the fact that his princess would continue to grow the royal line and keep it strong.

"Of course, we ask that you wait for the official announcement before revealing it," she glanced over his shoulder to catch Garrett's eye. When both confirmed their silence, Dom exchanged a small kiss with Kel who planned to stay a bit longer and then left with Garrett.

Garrett followed him as he wandered down towards the infirmary still in silence. Finally he stopped and stopped Dom from walking as well. It took him a few moments but then he looked up at their location and pushed past Dom towards the infirmary. When Dom was finally able to catch up inside of the waiting room he found his brother hugging Neal tight apologizing over and over again. Neal looked up at him clearly shocked and clearly uncomfortable. But no one came to his rescue. Not Dom who was nearly as shocked as Neal or Baird who came to see what the ruckus was.

There was a small hope that spread through Dom. If spending an hour in the company of the Crowned Prince and Princess convinced his pig headed brother that the Yamanis' were not barbaric peoples but well cultured beings, then perhaps there was hope for the rest of his family. "Gar?" Dom stepped up to slowly unlatch him from around Neal. He hoped his once childhood nickname for his brother would get him to focus on him instead while Neal attempted to escape. If there was hope he could believe Yamanis weren't terrible, then perhaps a little time with Kel would send him home with good stories to tell about his intended betrothed. "Would you like to join Kel and me for dinner?"


	18. Chapter 18

Neal sat staring at the door that led out of his sitting room into the hallway. The hallway outside was quiet and he didn't like that. Dom and Kel should have returned by this time. They had been down in the city far too long for just dinner. Perhaps Garrett had attacked them and had kidnapped Dom to drag him home. Perhaps they had been murdered by rampaging spidren that were loose in the city. Neal stopped himself. Spidren avoided cities. They liked trees and forests, not buildings and roads. Dom and Kel would be safe from them in the city. He tried to turn his thoughts to more sensible things. Perhaps they had wanted more time together and had gone to a tavern after dinner at the Jugged Hare. Some light conversation, a few drinks… a tavern brawl that turned into a full scale riot where Kel and Dom were back to back fighting off drunken giant after drunken giant…

"Argh!" Neal exclaimed out loud as he realized where his thoughts were going was completely ridiculous. His imagination was getting the better of him. Karin was already in bed and he had nothing to distract himself from the thoughts that threatened to overtake him. Mostly he didn't trust Garrett. This had to be a trick. A way to lull them all into a false sense of security so he could lay whatever trap for Dom he had planned out with his mother.

Then again, Dom had explained how they had spent time with Shinko and he had told his brother about Yuki's bloodlines and her deeds. It was just as likely that Garrett was simply changing his tune because he wanted the status that came from being friends with the future King and Queen of Tortall. He would want to be able to say his dear cousin-in-law had given her life to protect the future Queen. Look how amazing his family was. It made Neal sick to his stomach thinking that Garrett could use Yuki's death like that, even if he hadn't done it. He had no reason to believe good of his cousin and certainly he wasn't sure why Dom was so ready to believe things had changed. But then again, Dom probably wanted some sort of family approval on Kel and if status was the way to do it, her connection to the royalty and to Yuki probably would help her. Not to mention she was practically loved and adopted by many influential people at many influential fiefs across the kingdom.

Not for the first time was Neal caught in the wonderful revelation of how wonderfully he had been raised by his parents. They had drilled that deeds, not status, made a noble a noble into his and all of his siblings' heads. They had taught him that wealth and status were earned not freely given. His older brothers had believed that they could earn that status and true nobility by serving the Crown as pages, then as squires, and finally as knights. But his eldest brother had been slain as a first year knight and his second eldest brother as a third year squire. He was supposed to become a credentialed healer and take over for his father. Now he had done both and did he feel that he had status and wealth to honor his realm and bloodline? Not really.

When he gave a thought to it, he saw only one shining example of what true nobility should have been defined as. It came in the picture of a quiet ten year old girl with short mouse brown hair, dreamer hazel eyes, and impassive face, facing down bullies and teaching a lesson in chivalry that not even the older pages could forget. He saw it in the squire who selflessly cared for a baby griffin who savaged her and her poor hands to no end until its parents were found. He saw it in the young woman who worked hard every day at Haven to make sure the people inside were cared for. He saw it in the young woman who went tearing off after five hundred refugees alone because no one else would. He saw it in the woman who saved dogs, birds, savage horses, and small servants alike. He might save lives with his Gift and take the lives of those deserving of justice, but he was no Keladry of Mindelan who earned her title as Protector of the Small long before she was ever faced with Blayce the Gallan.

A key in the door lock made him look up. Usually he heard Dom and Kel chatting in the hall before they ever came in but this time whoever was on the other side was silent. The door opened to reveal a somber Dom and a quieter Kel. Dom took one look at Neal and then disappeared into his bedroom. Kel didn't follow. Instead she joined Neal on one of the couches looking a bit lost.

"What happened?" Neal asked quietly. It almost appeared as if Kel and Dom had fought with how easily they had left each other's sides when entering the room and with how quiet both of them were.

"His brother, Sir Garrett," she started. "He tried to proposition me…"

"Proposition you for what?" Neal started and then he saw Kel look away, her face colored with a faint blush and a small purpling bruise under her ear became visible. "Oh." He paused and reached over to touch a sparking finger to the bruise. "Did you and Dom leave him alive or will my father have to send a letter to his sister?"

"He's alive but he and Dom threw some punches and some insults. I didn't know what to do to help so I just took Dom's hand and led him out of there." Kel's voice was distant. "Dom's so angry about the whole thing that he hasn't said a word since."

"Are you okay?" Neal asked softly.

"I'm just worried about Dom," Kel glanced back at the door her sweetheart had disappeared behind. "I think, perhaps, I should let him have his space tonight."

"No, don't do that," Neal was startled that the words came note from his mouth but from Dom's. Looking up he could see the door open and Dom lounging against the door looking the picture of misery. "I certainly don't mean to push you away because he's a chauvinistic prat who doesn't know a true lady when he sees one." Dom limped forward and sat down next to Kel, pulling her snuggly against his body.

"So what happened?" Neal asked looking at Dom's face.

"She already told you, I'm sure." Dom's blue eyes shadowed with something Neal tried to identify. Was it shame, disappointment, anger, or the much more powerful rage? He wasn't sure.

"I want to hear it from you," Neal tried again.

"I thought if he had changed his mind about Yuki and Karin so nicely, then perhaps his views were changing and he could spend an evening with Kel and I and realize that she's a very wonderful woman." Dom shook his head. "I should have known better."

"For the record, I doubt his views have changed. I believe it has more to do with the fact Yuki had deep connections to the royal bloodline and thus my daughter and I do," Neal sighed.

"He lasted through dinner and then things seemed to be going well so we thought perhaps we should stop at a tavern and they could have some drinks and chat," Kel added. "He was genuinely pleasant as if he was really trying for the first part of the night."

"A few drinks too many between dinner and at the tavern, I think," Dom admitted. "I went to the privy and I came back to see him trying to pull her in and he had his other hand on her thigh."

"I managed to get them outside before they started fighting," Kel whispered. "Then after a few punches and insults were thrown I pulled Dom away and we came back up here." Immediately Dom kissed the top of her head and pulled her a bit closer.

"I lost my head. I'm glad you can keep yourself calm," his quiet voice sounded more ashamed than anything.

"I…" Kel blushed. "I could have stopped you before you punched him several times over," she admitted. "I really didn't want to."

Neal's loud laugh made them both look up. He stuffed his arm into his mouth to stop the louder laughs from waking his daughter. He never thought he'd see the day where Kel would allow a man to fight for her, let alone let the fight go a little longer out of spite for the one getting pounded. He assumed it was Garrett who took the beating because Dom appeared to not be injured and he seemed fairly sober. In Neal's experience, sober men tended to be a little more coordinated in their fighting though rage probably played a bit like alcohol in letting him give way to his passions.

"I'm glad you think it's funny," Dom grimaced. "I'm the only who will be hearing from my mother the moment she can get a letter out after she either hears from him in person or by letter."

"Speaking of letters, did you ever read the one he gave you from your mother?" Neal asked.

Dom took it out of his pocket, a little creased and wrinkled but still sealed. With a bit of difficulty due to the fact he would not let Kel out of his arms, he popped the wax seal off. For a moment his eyes scanned the letter with the efficiency of a man who spent a lot of time reading reports. After another minute he folded the letter and tossed it towards the fire, missing completely.

"She wants me to give up this mad notion that I'm any good to anyone at the palace now that I'm decrepit and come back to Masbolle with Garrett so she can assess my value and placement within the fief. She will find me a suitable wife and I can live out my days as a meek has been." Dom grip tightened once more on Kel.

"When did it say Garrett was returning home?" Kel asked.

"At the end of the week. I assume it was to give me enough time to put my affairs in order here so I don't have to return ever again." Dom growled. Suddenly he stood and offered a hand down to Kel. "Come to bed, please." Kel looked a bit taken aback but Neal could see the look on Dom's face as well as she could. He needed comforting and he certainly needed a physical reminder that Kel didn't find him decrepit or useless. With an apology to Neal she stood and went with Dom.

For a moment, Neal questioned himself in the silence of the sitting room again. Did it bother him that his cousin and his best friend, practically his adopted sister, were preparing to make love in the room next door? Well yes, he was a bit bothered by it but in the end he knew he wanted the two of them together and loved how well they worked with each other. Sex, he mused, was simply a byproduct of the relationship he would have to live with. He wondered briefly if Kel had ever felt that way about Yuki and himself when they had married. Did it bother her to know the two of them made love? He would never ask her but certainly it was a possibility. With that thought playing over in his mind, he decided it was about time he go to bed.

**A/N: I could give the whole list of excuses on why I didn't update sooner but no one really wants to hear it. I also make no promises about returning to my normal fast posting speed anytime soon. I doubt my husband wants my head in Tortall while we are focusing on a move. Much love to all of my readers and reviewers.**


	19. Chapter 19

A man clearing his throat made Neal look up from the supply sheets his father had set him to filling out. How his father had made the infirmary feel like wartime New Hope was beyond him. But supplies needed to be restocked every so often and the Crown put out the coin for it. So it was only a matter of getting the most they could on what money they were given. Baird had assured his son that he did a fine job keeping the place stocked and well maintained which only made Neal want to continue to maintain his standard. But now he looked up to see his cousin Garrett in the doorway. His right eye was blackened, his bottom lip was swollen, and there was a healing split in his left eyebrow. That Dom had managed to inflict so much visible damage before Kel had stopped him was impressive. On the other hand, Kel had admitted to prolonging the fight enough to let Dom get in some good hits.

"If you are looking for a healer you'll need to find someone else. I only assist people who don't treat my best friend like a whore." He looked back down at his papers and tried to make it look like he was fully immersed in what he had been doing. In reality his ears were on the quiet movements at the door as Garrett seemed to shift.

"Your father won't see me either," Garrett said finally. "And none of the assistants will either."

Neal set down his quill and looked up at his cousin, holding blue eyes with his brilliant green ones. Neal was impressed though it didn't show on his face. When he had come in that morning he had told his father everything. His father had refused to heal someone before for Kel's sake, but never his own family. That all of the assistants were banded together with them said quite a bit about Kel's standing. Beyond that, Neal could also see that Garrett had received a chastising from his uncle that he left him seeming a bit more humble. "Keladry of Mindelan is no whore. She does not sleep around. In fact I believe Dom is the only man she has ever been with and probably will ever be with because she is a loyal and devoted woman. The fact you tried to sleep with her when you have your own wife and family tells me that she has far more honor than you ever will." Neal stood. "I'm not going to heal your wounds. I'm not going to help you at all. Sometimes you need to have a reminder that such lessons were learned." He advanced on Garrett. "You are not welcome to come around talking to me. Dom is not going to forgive you. Dom is not going home with you. And I think it would be best if you just went home now."

"Garrett," Baird's voice wasn't exactly cold but Neal felt a coolness that made him shiver slightly. Garrett turned away from Neal to look back through the hallway to where his uncle stood. "You will take this letter home to your mother when you go," he held out a sealed letter with the Queenscove official seal. "I believe my son has conveyed the majority of all of our feelings accurately and you should go home now." Dismissed, Garrett bowed to his uncle and left the infirmary without another word.

"What did you say to him before he came to find me?" Neal asked when Garrett had been gone for a few minutes and his father still stood watching the door.

"Oh, he tried to accuse us all of having Kel in our beds which is the only reason why we defend her so. I pointed out he was accusing his own uncle, the Chief Royal Healer, and Duke of Queenscove of cheating on his wife with his son's best friend whom he's known since she was a child… he realized the implications of his words. I also pointed out the same thing you did about Kel's honor verses his own. I had thought our family was more intelligent than all of that."

"I had thought so too. But Dom is so different from his brothers," Neal sat back down at his desk. "I'm afraid Aunt will have him ordered home and then she'll break him down and convince him he's good for naught and should just marry one of her picks."

"I have a feeling that Dom is going to be faced with some hard decisions when his brother tells his mother everything," Baird announced. "I don't know if your cousin has told you everything…" he frowned when Neal did. "He's been living under the threat of being disowned for the last year."

"He didn't tell me. But I suppose I've been a bit distracted," Neal shook his head. "I don't know if I would tell him to do anything differently. I mean, he was still in the Own at that time and doing so much good in our world as a Captain. And then Kel, I mean, they are perfect for each other. And I really don't know what I'd do without Dom helping out right now." Neal sat down hard on his chair. "What will happen if they disown him?"

"You know exactly what happens, Nealan," Baird sighed. "He no longer is allowed to benefit from the fiefdom or the family name. His children cannot claim any kinship to the fief."

"But it also works in reverse. They cannot benefit from his wealth or deeds either. They cannot reclaim him unless he agrees for them to take him back. Provided their pride doesn't get in the way." Neal gave a small smile. "What was in the letter you gave to Garrett?"

"Don't you worry about that." The way Baird said it made Neal shiver. He had only ever seen his father truly disappointed or angry a few times in his life. It was always displayed in private and always done in such a way that whoever was on the receiving end always felt as if they had been run over by a full wagon train loaded down with rocks and then were rolled down a cliff and then felt the compulsive need to apologize to the cliff and each wagon and rock. He very much felt that if his father was turning angry or disappointed words on his younger sister then perhaps Dom would have a chance. Or perhaps out of spite, she would disown Dom any way. His aunt was a tough one to figure out in that way.

The idea that Dom was well aware he could be disowned stayed in Neal's conscious mind throughout the rest of the day and as he watched Dom and Kel helping Karin through her dinner. Had he told Kel his position was so fragile. Not that it would matter to Kel. She wouldn't care if he was from the bluest blooded house so long as he was Dom. But what would Dom do for an income if he couldn't benefit from his fiefdom? Surely he had money invested in places from his salary from the Own but it wouldn't last him for a long life. Perhaps he could rejoin the Own when his wounds healed but then he would never be able to marry Kel. Would there be something at Mindelan he'd be able to do?

"Neal, you're staring again," Kel said quietly drawing him out of his thoughts. He knew he would have to admit what he was thinking or come up with a distraction. Since he seemed fresh out of distractions he turned to look Dom directly in the eye.

"Why didn't you tell me your mother threatened to disown you?" Dom stared back at him, the goblet of wine half raised to his lips. Slowly he set it back down and fixed his eyes on the table in front of them.

"She threatened to disown you? When? In the letter last night?" Kel's voice was quiet and reasonable. The kind of voice someone responded to with everything they knew. Not the kind of voice someone withheld such important information from.

"She's been threatening it for years actually. She's only become more serious about it since I was promoted to Captain in the Own," Dom looked up at Kel. "I should have told you when we started courting."

"I don't help matters do I. I mean, you courting me is exactly what she doesn't want," Kel's body shifted only a fraction of an inch back but it was enough where Dom reached to grab her and hold her closer.

"That's one of the reasons I didn't want to tell you, either of you. I don't feel that I would do anything differently if she decided to disown me tomorrow. I would never go back and not love you and I certainly could never leave Meathead to himself. If I could change anything I would have snatched you up sooner and would have made sure Neal had a keeper a head of time." Dom gave a sad smile. "I know my family would see how wonderful you are if they just gave you a real chance. And well, they haven't thrown Neal out yet."

"Meathead…" Karin's small voice added.

"Oh now you've taught her that vile name!" Neal cried out. Seeing her father react Karin started chanting the word over and over again. Neal's subsequent tantrum and Karin's incessant giggling had them all laughing eventually. By the time they had managed to calm Karin down and set her down for bedtime, they had all forgotten what had started them down that path in the first place.

It wasn't until Neal was lying in bed that night that he realized Dom had in fact said exactly what Neal had wanted and needed to hear before everything had fallen to pieces. He wouldn't change a damned thing about his life even if it did take Masbolle away from him. He wouldn't abandon Kel or his cousin just because his mother didn't approve. He hadn't told anyone simply because he didn't want them feeling responsible not because he wanted to suffer alone. It was a startling revelation because while Neal knew Dom was smart and likeable, he had never thought Dom might actually have more than just common sense for smarts. Despite being unbelievably close to his cousin, he still had always equated him with the bruisers on horses. It was startling to realize he had withheld information because it was actually irrelevant and possibly more damaging to be released than withheld. That was a level of intelligence that most people never reached, not even the ones who read whole libraries of books and held debates. Perhaps he had to reevaluate his thoughts on his own cousin. And if he found himself terribly lacking in his previous assumptions, then perhaps he should reevaluate his thoughts on everyone else, and everything else as a matter of fact.

Reevaluating everything would take an awfully long time, he reasoned with a yawn. Turning over he stroked the pillow that had been Yuki's at one point. He had a long time and reevaluating his beliefs was a good way to better himself. It would be something Yuki would have approved of. But if he was going to embark on such a journey, then perhaps he probably would have to get some sleep. Tomorrow he would be more observant. Tomorrow he would pay closer attention, listen more, speak less, figure out the details of why. Those were projects for tomorrow, but tonight he could sleep knowing that Dom wouldn't have done anything differently and that was what mattered.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Because it hasn't been said in a while, I do not own the characters, places, or base story line of which this story developed from. If I did, I wouldn't be working the job I do.**

Dom stood in the doorway of the infirmary, not hovering per say, but waiting for his uncle to acknowledge him. He needed advice and it needed to come from someone level headed, which ruled out Neal, and someone who was more involved in the situation, which ruled out Kel. But his Uncle Baird would be the perfect person as he was not prone to dramatic outbursts that would make a Player envious and it was his sister that was in Dom's mind. He had been meaning to come and speak to his uncle for nearly a week but Neal was always around when he had stopped down. He did not want Neal to overhear anything and if Neal knew he was coming to speak to Baird, then he would find some sort of way to eavesdrop. But now, Neal was busy collecting things from the palace stores which would take hours at best.

"And to what do I owe this honor of this visit, Domitan?" Baird asked after he finished up with his last patient. "Come sit down, are you wounds still giving you trouble? And stiffness still? Pain? Discomfort?" Dom settled into the chair as his uncle already was checking over the wounds with his Gift.

"Some stiffness, but Neal made a balm that helps with it," Dom replied. "Actually Uncle, I came to talk to you about my mother."

"You're healing up nicely. I'd say the stiffness should be common place for another month or two but it should diminish over that period of time. If the balm helps then keep using it." Baird moved back and went to close the door. When he returned he took up a chair opposite of Dom and met his eyes. "Your mother finally sent a letter then?"

"Garrett finally made it home and told her everything. Well almost everything. From what I gathered in the letter is he may have indicated that Kel had propositioned him and then I got jealous and attacked him. But nonetheless she told me that consorting with whores and beating someone to a pulp is commoner practice, not nobility. Since I decided to continue on this path that disrupts my noble blood, she is finally disowning me." Dom felt his voice shake as he said it. He had been reminded often throughout the last years that he wasn't exactly fond of his family. His mother's letters were pleasantly rude at best and his siblings varied between rude to downright vicious since he became the last Masbolle son not to be married. But this was his family. He had always been a Masbolle. He had benefitted from the name and had added to its credibility for producing excellent warriors. He had grown up on those lands, called the fiefdom and its castle home. Now he had no fiefdom, he had no home, he had no family according to his mother. By her disowning him officially, he technically wasn't even attached to Neal or Baird anymore either. He knew that simply because it had been outlined in the legal documents attached to the letter.

Baird said nothing for a while, letting Dom sit in his thoughts about what had happened. He had been holding in his feelings on this particular matter all week, masking them from Kel and from Neal. It was no easy task but he had reasoned with himself, spent nights reminding himself that he really wouldn't have changed anything.

"I see she ignored my letter on the real events that had taken place between Garrett and Keladry. I also spent a good amount of that letter extoling your sweetheart's good characteristics as there are many, and your many accomplishments." Baird announced finally. "Honestly, Dom, I think you may be better off this way. They can't come in and out of your life demanding renown for your accomplishments while at the same time their elitist attitudes can't drag down your reputation." He rose and went to the fireplace where a tea kettle sat staying warm near the flames. He poured two cups of tea which told Dom he intended to sit and chat for a long while. His uncle never made tea for a chat he expected to last less than fifteen minutes.

"You wrote her?" Dom looked up catching onto the first part while the rest of his uncle's words repeated in the back of his mind like a soothing chant.

"I sent the letter with Garrett, sealed with my magic wax. Not that he would have known it was magic unless he tried to open it. I've made that wax so that the letter cannot be tampered with." Baird patted a special case on his desk.

"Perhaps he didn't hand the letter over and completely lost it on the way once he realized he couldn't tamper with the letter," Dom sat back and sipped his tea. "You really think this won't change things in a bad way for me?"

"Dom, you're intelligent, well educated, a natural commander, selfless, and good natured. I don't believe you will find yourself down for long. And beside all of that, I happen to know you have quite a sum of money saved and invested. I think you'll be fine."

Dom blinked. How his uncle knew he had monies saved and invested in profitable places had him genuinely appreciative of the man's ability to discover things. It was true, most of his wages for the many years he had been in the Own had been carefully tucked away and invested when a profitable venture arrived. He had also received an allowance in that time frame from his family that had covered all of his expenses with plenty left over. He didn't spend gold crowns to get the fanciest armor or even visit Raven Armory. The company issue was good quality and his clothes usually lasted for long periods of time. He ate in the mess more often than out in Corus and he didn't spend his money in bets unwisely and didn't buy expensive things as Midwinter gifts. The exception was the gown he had bought for Kel the same gown she would be wearing that evening at the gathering Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami were having to announce that Shinko was preparing for her second child.

"What are you thinking about?" Baird asked seeing Dom smile slightly.

"I was just thinking that the only expensive thing I have bought in the last ten years is a gown for Kel which she'll finally get to wear tonight." Dom felt his cheeks go hot and red.

"And where will she be wearing such a fine gown?" Baird quirked an eyebrow.

"At the Crowned Prince and Princess's party to announce to their friends about their second pregnancy," Dom felt his cheeks get redder. He knew his uncle had to know about the pregnancy. He had probably been the first to actually know for certain and had let the happy couple in on the news.

"Did Kel tell you of the party?" Baird inquired, sounding suspiciously innocent.

"No, Shinko did herself," Dom sighed when his uncle raised a knowing eyebrow. Of course he was pointing out that Dom didn't really need his family to benefit from anything. He was on first name terms with the royalty. He had been personally invited to a friend's gathering though he was certain that was more due to his connection to Kel and Neal than his own deeds. On top of that his own now former family would probably have never been able to attend such a thing with their known views. His uncle was right, perhaps he was doing better on his own though it still hurt to know he was no longer part of the family he had grown up with, had lost the home he had spent years running around in.

"I want you to know that whatever your mother says, you will always be my nephew. Neal will always be your cousin, you can't get rid of him that easily. And you are always welcome at Queenscove. You have been more and more like a son to Wilina and I over the past years. We would legally bind you to Queenscove but I believe there are better things in store for you."

Dom felt incredibly humbled and light as he left the infirmary. He would have to tell Kel about it all when he saw her and then Neal after the party. He certainly couldn't imagine Neal being able to keep his mouth shut about the situation during the celebrations nor would he expect him to. Neal would display the anger that Dom felt at the situation.

Kel was in her rooms when he arrived and locked the door behind him. He knew that if she had to wear a gown, she would spend some time getting ready to look like she should be wearing a gown. By the way she was wrapping in a dressing robe already he was sure she had just escaped a nice long bath and was busy working on brushing out her hair. She stopped when she saw his face. Rather than say anything, he took the letter and the legal documents out of his tunic and handed them over. Her face was impassive as she scanned over the contents and then she looked up at Dom, waiting.

"I think I'm going to be fine," he told her softly. "As long as I have you." He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Well, good. I don't plan on letting you go anywhere. You have to lace me into the gown since you are the one that decided I just had to have it." Practical as ever she turned back to the mirror and continued with her styling. But Dom noticed the small smile on her lips. She had been teasing him but at the same time, he knew there was honesty in her saying she wasn't about to let him go away.

"If I recall correctly, you attempted to purchase the gown as well after you tried it on." Dom took the brush from her and grasped onto the net she would catch up her hair in. It was cream colored silk with pearls studded at every crossing. As he pinned it into place she gave him a true smile in the mirror. Before she could turn around to look at him he produced the other gift he had purchased for her recently: a matching set of gray pearl earbobs and a gray pearl necklace to match the pearls on her gown.

"Dom! You shouldn't have." She turned around to chastise him. He grinned because that was what a woman was expected to say to such expensive gifts, while at the same time, he knew Kel actually meant it. Almost any other woman would say it as they were snatching the gift from his hands. Instead Kel was staring up at him as if she was deciding on how to tell him it was all too much and he should take it back.

"Of course I should have. Pearls suit you my, love. Have I ever told you why I love pearls more than any of the flashy gems? Pearls are beautiful but in a classy, elegant way. They are beautiful without demanding to be looked at. You, my amazing lady, are much the same. Elegant, classy, and beautiful without having to using flashy things and bright colors to draw attention to yourself." Dom helped hook the earbobs through the tiny holes in her earlobes and the then fastened the necklace around her neck. All the while she looked at him with a blush staining her cheeks. He kissed her thoroughly before disappearing into her closet where his more formal clothes were stashed.

"Dom?" Kel called after a few moments. "Does what your mother did have to do with you punching your brother over me?"

"I'm sure that was the end of it for her since he's her golden boy and can do no wrong," Dom stepped out pulling a gray silk shirt over his bare chest.

"I should have done it myself when I realized what he was trying to do," Kel sighed. "But I thought it would look really bad if he went back and said I had attacked him. And I thought perhaps I could reason with him rather than just hit him."

"You can't reason with someone who has their ears closed and their brain shut off," Dom told her calmly.

"I shouldn't have let you hit him either though," Kel admitted.

"It needed to happen. He won't learn through reasoning but he may learn if he has to have some pain to remind him of the lesson for a while. Did you know that all of the healers in the infirmary refused to see him?"

"Even your uncle and Neal?" Kel demanded.

"Especially them," he grinned. Neal had told him the story after Garrett was safely gone so the accusations that had been made wouldn't set Dom off after him. "Now, about this gown. I hear it looks much better once you are wearing it." He held out the gown for her to step into.

Once Kel was settled into her gown and Dom was fully dressed with a deep indigo tunic and black breeches they were off to find the party. Dom grinned as he saw heads turn in the hallway to look at Kel and even more heads turn when they arrived at the small ballroom where the party was being held. Kel was simply a beautiful creature and he intended to show everyone what they had missed out on.

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to get another chapter up. Thank you all for the favorites, reviews, and follows. You are all very inspiring.**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: A shorter one for those of you who just want more.**

Three nights after the party, Neal sat in his study with the door closed writing a new chapter into his ballad for Kel. He had neglected to write the events of her new found love life over the past half of a year. He had finally weaseled out the details of how they had first come together at the time of his darling Yuki's death. He had to stop several times when writing how Kel had valiantly protected the Princess alongside her friend and how her friend had been gravely injured. He had to stop when he wrote about Dom coming for her in the waiting room and the reason he had had to comfort her. His hands shook when he wrote about the two of them and their selflessness at coming to care for him the moment he had need. He really wasn't as deserving of his friends, no… family. Kel and Dom were family. Dom by blood whatever his mother may have decided to say, and Kel was not necessarily a sister but one of those deep bonded friends that can only be family. Soon, he hoped, that Kel would actually be family.

Dom had not brought up anything regarding betrothal because Kel was busy and he was still working hard on keeping Neal sane. Neal also believed it had something to do with his aunt's decision to disown him. Despite everything Dom had said about probably being better off and being alright with the decision, Neal guessed, and assumed he was right, that Dom didn't want to consider marriage until he found some sort of stable ground to call his own. Living in Neal's spare room didn't exactly make for a place of his own and moving in with Kel would feel like imposing on her. While Dom full heartedly supported women doing just as much or more than men in every aspect, it was likely that he wasn't comfortable feeling that Kel was doing everything. If anything he would probably wish he was pulling at least his share of the work and income. Neal wouldn't have wanted to enter a marriage without a home, career, or income of any sort and it didn't sound like a good way to start a life together though Kel wouldn't care in the least.

Feeling more at ease he began to write again, marking out the points in Kel's recent history that revolved around her work, Dom, and her care for her poor best friend. He smiled as he added in a small drawing that had been given to him by Sir Faleron of King's Reach. It seemed he was quite the artist and had managed to draw a very good likeness of Kel and Dom at the party several nights before dancing together. He had somehow captured the lights in her eyes as she smiled up at Dom and the way he had clutched her closer. As he pasted the drawing into place, he considered asking Faleron to read and draw some more pictures to accompany the story. Sometimes pictures made a thing much better if they were tasteful and Faleron's art was certainly tasteful.

A knock on the door frame made Neal look up to see Dom leaning casually against it. Neal waved him in, relieved it wasn't Kel. The moment Dom drew close his eyes fell on the drawing and he smiled.

"You didn't draw that?" It sounded like a question but Neal knew it was more of a statement.

"Fal did. He gave it to me to add to my history of Kel I've been working on. But by Mithros I swear if you tell her I'm doing this…" a new thought occurred to Neal that Dom probably would tell Kel everything because the two of them discussed everything. If Kel found out about the book she would likely try and discourage Neal from ever writing about her again. She never thought anything she did was special enough to be history.

"I won't. But I would like to read it sometime," Dom grinned and settled into a chair across from Neal. "So Kel has been summoned to some big grand meeting with Their Majesties and Their Highnesses and the whole damned council in the morning. Any ideas as to why Oh Brilliant Master of Conspiracies?"

"You must be drunk to be calling me 'Brilliant' or 'Master' in anything," Neal chuckled. Dom only gave him a fake drunken grin. "I honestly have no idea. Perhaps it's to offer her a job like Training Master or Knight Commander of the King's Own."

"I thought so too but it's nice to hear the thoughts echoed. Those would be her two strengths: working with children and training them, and commanding large groups of unruly warriors." Dom sighed. "Training Master I could handle because she would be here and I could still see her and share her bed. Knight Commander of the King's Own? I never understood how Buri could handle it."

"Perhaps it's because Buri had her own work and her own focuses until they married. Then she started keeping Raoul close or traveling with him." Neal pointed out. He stood and went to pull out two goblets of wine from his locked cabinet. This sounded like one of those conversations that would need some relaxation to endure.

"Kel wouldn't thank me at all if I traveled with her. Not that she would hate me sharing her bedroll and fighting alongside of her, but she wouldn't need the gossip that followed or the rumors that she couldn't do it alone." Dom gave a small smile. "I used to be fairly independent. I mean, I didn't need a woman though it was nice to have one. I didn't have to see her or write to her. But with Kel, it's different. It's like… I'm not really sure, but comfortable when she's with me. And when she's not it's not unbearable but all the same, I prefer her with me."

"I'm sure it helps knowing that she's coming back each night or that it's only going to be a week or two, or an exact time away like she has border patrol for three months. That's understandable and bearable. You know when she's supposed to be back. But if she was a Knight Commander of the King's Own she wouldn't have a set schedule. She would be out for possibly years and back maybe only for a day or two before being called out again. That's hard on any relationship. The only person I ever credited with the patience to withstand such a relationship is the person you are worried about. I would have discouraged both of you had I thought it would be too hard on her."

"You appear to believe we wouldn't have come together on our own," Dom sipped at his wine. "Do we not get any credit?"

"Kel never would have admitted her feelings for you to you. She's harbored her attraction to you since she was a first year squire. And you, did you really think of her as a potential sweetheart before I started pushing?"

"No, but I know the feeling was there. I just hadn't realized it yet." Dom grinned. "I could have still realized it at some point without your help."

"So where is your most amazing, wonderful, dearest sweetheart now since I doubt we'd have this conversation at all with her somewhere in these rooms."

"She took Karin down to see Shinko to ask about getting her a child's training naginata." Dom thought that Neal would choke on his wine or at least blanch a little. Karin was only turning three in the next year. He couldn't imagine that Neal, the most overprotective father, would allow for weapons training. Instead Neal only nodded.

"She mentioned most children started by three or four in Yaman. I told her I wanted Karin trained like her mother had been." Neal set his goblet down. "I get the hunch that I should provide her with all of the training I can since I doubt I'll be able to protect her for long. No daughter of Yuki's will be mild and meek and no daughter of mine will be able to stop herself from whatever she chooses to pursue."

"That sounded almost levelheaded. Are you sure you are feeling alright?" Dom teased. He knew from what Kel had said from the seer child at New Hope that Neal's daughter would try for her shield. The fact that Neal would have her prepared and was preparing to let her do what she wished when it came to that time meant he had learned something from Yuki's death, or perhaps after. Dom wasn't sure exactly when these sort of changes happened.

"Funny," Neal commented. "So when is Kel's summoning tomorrow?"

"She's to be there by the second bell of the morning." Dom recalled. "You know, a thought just came to mind. Since when do they call the whole council and their royal Highnesses and Majesties together to offer a job? As I recall that's usually just the King and his small private council that do such things."

Neal had to admit that it was a valid point. Jobs such as Knight Commander of the King's Own or Training Master were usually offered by the King to an individual after it had been discussed with his private council. It had been done this way through all of King Jonathon's rule. The person wasn't usually summoned to them either, often they were sent letters calling them to their duty. Looking down at his book, still open in front of him to the drawing of Dom and Kel dancing, he had his answer. Kel wasn't just any random noble. She had gone above and beyond expectations so many times over. She had fought battle after battle against inequality and had won over and over again. Not just for herself but for the common people as well. She was the Protector of the Small, the woman who dispatched Stenmun and Blayce the Gallan. She saved countless lives both in war and in times of peace. She had never done things according to expectations or rules except when it came to the rules and expectations of chivalry. There really was only one answer to the question Dom had posed. Only one answer to the reason Kel would have to have such a large amount of people for her to take up any sort of official position within the workings of the realm outside of being the standard knight.

"Since it's Kel."

**A/N: I get into this bad habit where I check this site about 10 times a day at least hoping for someone to update. When I manage to catch an update I usually squeal and lock my behind into my computer chair and read with a silly grin on my face. After reading some of the reviews about people binge reading or doing the forbidden reading at work (I'm guilty of this too), it occurred to me that perhaps those reading my story that actually enjoy it are just waiting for updates too. So when I catch myself thinking, I wish someone would update... I turn around and remind myself I haven't updated yet. It may only be a short one this time, but adding more to this particular chapter would be excessive in my eyes. I hope you all enjoy and I appreciate reviews.**


	22. Chapter 22

Dom tried not to pace the room while he waited for Kel to return from her meeting, mostly because he was still stiff. He knew he would have to be happy for her no matter what the outcome was. She deserved a career with the Own or with the pages. She was an excellent commander and an excellent teacher. He didn't pray that she was training master. He didn't pray she would consider him at all before accepting any position. They were only sweethearts. He wasn't betrothed to her yet. Why hadn't he just talked to her about a betrothal, about a future, about starting a family? Why hadn't he just done exactly what he had said he would do when he came back injured?

It had been his intention after he had told Kel about his injuries but then Kel was worried sick over Neal. So he had helped out with Neal. Then there had been his brother and the worry that he would be disowned. Then he was disowned by his mother. If he was honest he was worried he couldn't be the man she deserved if he didn't have a career or a fiefdom anymore. Not that any of that mattered to her but Kel deserved more than what she expected. Now it was too late. She would be Knight Commander of the King's Own and she would be traveling all over with no time to have a family or a sweetheart. He sat down hard on his bed and cradled his head in his hands. He knew he was feeling sorry for himself. He also knew, deep down, that Kel wouldn't just abandon him.

"Dom?" Kel's voice penetrated his thoughts. He looked up at her and saw her still dressed sharply in her Mindelan colors, wearing her knight's badge, and looking concerned. "Are you hurting?"

"No, Sweet," he looked up at her and let out a sigh. "Well sort of, but not physically, sit please," he patted the spot on the bed next to him. When she sat down, he wrapped his arms around her and dragged her closer to his body. He wanted to hold her close thinking if she had to leave, he would keep a hold on her as long as possible. She let him keep a hold on her for a bit before she shifted to look up into his face. He braced himself for the inevitable news she was about to deliver.

"Dom? Is this about your family?" She kept her voice quiet and reasonable.

He wanted to say 'yes' because he had been building an image of their family in his mind since he had been injured. He had been thinking of what their children would look like, what they would grow up at do. He had been thinking that Neal and Karin would be permanent members of their family. He had been thinking that it wouldn't be too long until this image was real. But now that was too late for that to happen and maybe she wouldn't want a family until her career slowed down. He'd be too old by then to enjoy his children fully.

But he couldn't tell Kel 'yes' because she meant his mother and his brothers and sisters. She meant the lands and the castle that belonged to Masbolle that he used to call home. And he supposed in a way it was, because if he hadn't been disowned he would have asked her already, or he thought he would have asked her already.

"My Love," Dom sighed out and met her eyes. There was no beating around the bush on this one. Kel needed a direct and blunt answer to this question or she wouldn't understand the depth of his feelings for her or his apparent 'pain'. "I want to be your husband. I want to have a family with you. I wanted to tell you all of this sooner but things kept coming up and then… You deserve a husband who has something, anything, going for him. I have no career, no home, no family." Kel was silent for a long time and Dom grimaced at the fact he had told her enough to convince her he wasn't worthy of her and that she should move on. She was probably thinking of the best way to let him down and leave the room. It would probably be better for her in the long run. She'd have to come back later to get her things she had stashed in his room and he would have to go to hers at some point and claim back his things. "I'm sorry, I can't be the man you deserve."

"Well you certainly are related to Meathead," Kel said finally. "I can't deny that. Only someone so dramatic could tell me they want a family and then claim they aren't deserving all in the same moment." Kel shifted out of his hold and moved to stand in front of him. She gripped both of his hands in hers and let out a sigh. "You do have a family. You have Neal and Karin to start with. And your uncle, Duke Baird, and your aunt, Wilina." She gave a small smile. "And you have me."

Dom looked up at her and grimaced. She wouldn't abandon him even if it was the thing she should do. He could only drag her down and he opened his mouth to say so.

"Furthermore, you do have a fief and a home," Kel cut across him with a blush on her cheeks. "That is if you were serious about wanting to be my husband and have children."

"I don't want to drag the name of Mindelan down with mine," Dom muttered.

"Well Mindelan has enough people adding credit to its name, to be honest. And besides, only my brother Conal could possibly drag the name down. I was actually talking about New Hope." Kel's smile was positively impish now as Dom stared up at her.

"New Hope is a town, not a fief," he said slowly as if trying to remind Kel of the fortified town she had left behind after her position in the Scanran War had been all but eliminated by peace.

"Actually, now it's a fief. My fief. Well _Our_ fief if, once again, you actually want what you just said you wanted. I'm going to need a husband with a good head on his shoulders and that loves the people as much as I do. I need someone who loves me and wants to work with me. If you don't think you are up to that, I suppose I'll just have to go it alone until I can find someone willing to provide me with a heir…" she stopped talking only because Dom had pulled her down on the bed and pinned her under him.

"Well, we'd better start on that!" Dom couldn't believe his luck. Of course he was right the night before. They didn't call together the whole council and all of the crowned royalty in residence just to offer a job. He should have listened to that voice. They did call together all of those people to create fiefdoms. They called together all of those people to bestow titles and monies. He didn't even care that he would be a noble by name again or that he would have a fiefdom to attach his name to. He cared that Kel had said she wanted him for a husband and they could and should have a family. He laughed, feeling so relieved. He laughed until Kel kissed him to shut him up.

"I guess I had better get you a ring and discuss betrothal terms with your father," Dom said when she finally broke apart from him.

"What makes you think you need to ask him what my terms are?" Kel gave a light slap to his chest. "I worked hard to be an independent woman you know."

"Alright, my dear, what are your terms?"

"Well you have to be willing to accept the title of Count to start with," she started.

"Count? Aren't new fiefs supposed to be Baron or something like that?" Dom turned to look at her.

"It would seem His Majesty has decided he would like to reward me royally for my contributions during the Scanran War. They are making the real story the official record and he thought a hero's purse would be too little. And New Hope has already grown past the size of most villages in barony lands. We are responsible to be a key northern defense now too."

"Oh? So is the title of Count the only term?"

"Well, there is also the organizing and creating of our own men at arms. We have to plan and build our own castle. And of course staff it. We'll have to make sure the town and any others living in our lands have to be cared for. Then there's creating our own succession." Kel's hands were straying down his chest to alert him to her meaning.

"Sounds like a lot of work." Dom grinned. "Perhaps we should see to this marriage thing immediately so we can get started on all of that."

"I thought you might see it that way." Kel's practical side made him chuckle. "I told Roald I didn't think you'd be too upset if we forwent a traditional big ceremony and we just took a few friends with us down to the temple and had a priestess do the rites. I figured we could do a big celebration later when we have our own banquet hall."

"When did you tell Roald you might get me to agree to have this small ceremony?" Dom knew the Prince would be fully involved in trying to help arrange things for Kel. They were friends and she had saved his wife at the same time Yuki had been mortally injured. She deserved to be rewarded for everything. But in typical Crown fashion a reward came in the form of a lot more work.

"Well since my parents are here right now, and Raoul is in residence. I thought we could give everyone an extra day's notice and we'll go down to the temple in two days?" Kel shifted until she could rest her head against his chest.

"I think that will be fine. However, Lalasa is going to have a fit you didn't let her prepare a gown for you." Dom teased.

"I thought perhaps I could visit her this morning after I sorted things out with you," she blushed. "I didn't think, well, I mean, I hoped you wouldn't tell me 'no'."

"Tell you 'no'? You are making my dreams come true." Dom let out a small chuckle. "Perhaps we should accidentally lose the pregnancy charm now and get started on some heirs. When you've had all of the pleasure I can manage to force on you, then you can go see Lalasa."

"If you think you're ready..."

"My dear, I am more than ready to start a family with you." Dom kissed her sweetly and tugged at the golden chain around her neck until he was able to slide it up over her head. "You already know you'll be an excellent mother."


	23. Chapter 23

Neal stared at the door his cousin was standing behind. He clearly must have misheard his cousin telling his father, Baird, that he was getting married in two days and wanted him to come. Surely Dom wasn't in that big of a rush to be married to Kel. There was only one rational explanation… Dom had to be proposing in the next two days and wanted Baird to be present at some big romantic gesture. That was more Dom's style. He would do something grand and showy. He'd do something that showed Kel and the entire world that he loved her more than anything. And Kel would have to agree to marriage if Dom did something so amazingly out of the ordinary to ask her for a betrothal. Perhaps he would do it in front of all of their friends. Of course he was doing it in front of all of their friends; he had just asked his own uncle to come and be part of it. He would be coming to find his favorite cousin Neal next. He would joke with his cousin and tease him for a long time before he would finally congratulate the poor man and express condolences on his breaking of his bachelordom.

"Neal? Can I have a word?" Dom stood in the doorway with a blush rising to his cheeks and a grin he didn't seem to be able to wipe off of his face.

"That's Sir Meat…, wait, you called me 'Neal'?" Now he knew something real was coming. Dom was only nice when he was being genuine or when someone was really upset which was also genuine. Perhaps he would have to lay off of the teasing that would follow such a conversation.

"Neal," he took a chair and indicated Neal should do the same. Neal sat, waiting for the plan that Dom was about to lay out for him and for everyone to follow. "I need a big favor. Today Kel wasn't offered a job with the Own or the pages. She was offered a fiefdom. But I didn't know that when she came back and I was wallowing a bit in self-pity. I thought she would be Knight Commander of the Own and that I had missed out on the opportunity to marry her and start a family with her. And I told her this when she came in and asked me what was wrong. Next thing I know she's talking betrothal with me and well… we're getting married in two days…"

Neal could see Dom was still talking. His lips were moving and noise was coming out but the last comprehendible words were that Kel was going to be a married woman in only a couple of days to his cousin. Surely Dom had been dreaming or had been hit upside the head. There was no way Kel would rush into anything. They had only been seeing each other for half of a year. There was no way she would rush into a marriage after only being sweethearts for about seven months. She wasn't hasty. Everyone knew she was the most levelheaded, both feet nailed firmly nailed to the ground, the sanest person in the entire palace. And that kind of person did not just up and get married with only 48 hours of notice.

"So, do you think you could do that for me? Well those things for me? I know it's a lot to ask." Dom was saying as Neal's brain started comprehending words again.

"TWO DAYS?! ARE YOU INSANE?" Neal nearly knocked over his chair as he stood to unleash a full melodramatic tantrum. "That is NOT how it's done, Dom. There are TRADITIONS. You don't just get MARRIED on a whim!"

"Hold on, didn't you want us to get married? Weren't you the one pushing us together?" Dom's voice had taken on that damned reasonable tone that Kel such a way with. Damn her and her ability to teach people how to do reasonable things and damn Dom for picking up on how those things worked.

"Well yes, but…"

"And aren't you happy we are going to get married and start a family?" Dom asked softly.

"Well yes, but…"

"So what does it matter if we get married in a year or in two days?"

"I thought you would do something big and grand to ask for her hand. I thought you would want everyone to be a part of it," Neal felt himself blush.

"Well that would probably have been true, if I had been the one to propose marriage. But it was actually Kel who offered the marriage. And you know Kel, practical and simple and quiet. And in case you weren't listening, and I suspect you weren't based on your reaction, I was trying to involve you and everyone. I want you to stand up with me as my witness. And then I was asking if you would let all of your friends known so they can be there." Dom's blush was back and he was grinning again.

"Where's Kel? Why isn't she here informing everyone with you?" Neal raised an eyebrow. It seemed unlikely Kel wouldn't be present to tell him.

"She went to go see Lalasa about finding something to wear. And of course Roald sent Shinko with her because he was in on this right after Kel was offered her fief."

"Roald was in on this? He knew before I did?" Neal threw his hands up in the most theatrical way.

"He knew before I did," Dom laughed. "Kel said he approached her after the meeting and asked if she thought I'd be willing marry her sooner rather than later. It would seem the paperwork would be done much faster if we did the marriage now and in Corus rather than wait until she's all established. We have a lot of work to do so it only makes since to get this out of the way so we can get started."

"Get... _it_… out of the WAY!" Neal puffed out throwing a whole new tantrum. "Marriage is not something you 'Get out of the way'!"

"Right now it is. Kel and I are committed to each other and have been since we started courting. I don't believe there has been a moment since I held her that night that first night that I was not sure of her. The marriage is a formality. It's a legality we have to deal with in order for me to have the title of Count, the ability to make decisions regarding New Hope, and for our children to inherit without being claimed as bastards." Dom shrugged.

"Count of New Hope?" Neal sat back in his chair. He knew he should be surprised to see New Hope become a fief. They had left it as a smaller fortified town of people no longer claiming to be refugees of war. They had left it in the hands of a headwoman that was so formidable that little would escape her eye. Of course he knew it wasn't just a little fortified town anymore. It had grown past the original walls. Farms had been set up. Herds given grazing grounds. The Greenwoods river utilized for fishing and for transportation. They had grown significantly. And yes, most cities when they grew to such sizes became fiefs and often someone was ennobled to take the fief. But it seemed only right Kel was in charge of the fiefdom. She was the reason they had been built as a town rather than as another refugee camp. She had treated them like proud townsfolk rather than downtrodden refugees. She had given them the hope and courage to fight and build and push through. Of course Kel was going to be the new Lady of the fief. But Countess was a title that showed she was being rewarded for more than the creation of the town. She was being rewarded probably for all of her hard work and possibly in apology for all of the diplomatic crap that had left her often disadvantaged where the playing field should have been level. She was deserving, that was certain. And Dom was deserving. He would do well with a fiefdom like New Hope.

"Yeah." Dom's response took him out of his thoughts once again. Neal had to think for a moment in what Dom was responding to. He tracked back his thoughts until he came to the point where of course Dom was simply acknowledging that Neal had heard correctly. Well perhaps he could do something to help his cousin feel more confident in his part of being in charge of a new fief. Often new fiefdoms had to make tough decisions in the first few years until they had an actual income established. Every noble heard stories about things like that. It was likely one of the worries Dom would have and Neal could fix it.

"I suppose your mother is going to be quite upset. I mean, not only did you succeed in going against her wishes which caused her to disown you, and not becoming just a poor commoner once she disowned you. You turned around and became a Count. And New Hope is becoming one of the main centers of Scanran trade in Tortall. They've already outgrown Riversedge in size and in income coming in."

"And you know all of this how?" Dom raised an eyebrow at his cousin. Neal wasn't about to say he had been watching the town's progress out of academic curiosity of its progress or pride in what he and Kel and Merric had achieved with the people. He could lie a little bit, so long as he kept it simple.

"I'm still in contact with several of the healers there. They ask questions regarding certain healer related problems and in the process they share some of the economics with me as well. I believe they just expanded the inn they had originally put up to accommodate more travelers." Neal scratched at his chin wondering just how far to push it. "Masbolle might have been rich from their wine, but New Hope is rich in the fur trade certainly and there are silver mines all up and down that area. Chances are New Hopes borders will have at least one of them."

"Silver does tend to bring in a nice amount. And fur would too. We know the fields are healthy and the people are strong. I really couldn't ask for a better fief to go along with an amazing wife and family." Dom gave a sly smile. "I suppose when Kel and I have a better celebration of our wedding when we are all settled, I shall have to invite my former parents and siblings."

"A better celebration?" Neal's ears perked up at the words. He had seriously spent the last few minutes convinced Kel had succeeded in escaping yet another party in her honor.

"Of course! You didn't think that I would just leave it at a quick rushed wedding and not throw a party?" Dom stood and straightened his clothes. "It just has to be a bit later. Kel and I have to build a family house and establish ourselves as Count and Countess before we can really look at doing too much." He started to walk towards the door. "You will stand up with me in two days and let all of your friends know?"

"When should I have them report, and which temple?" Neal stood too, realizing that the specifics hadn't been given yet.

"Kel said Roald was happy to allow us to use the temple of Mithros right here in the palace. And I believe two bells after Midday was the agreed upon time. I'll let you know if that changes."

"Knowing Kel, it won't." Neal sat down hard when Dom left. Yuki should have been here for this, to see the fruits of their labors of plotting and scheming. Yuki should have been there to celebrate the wedding of her other best friend. It was unfair the way the world worked sometimes but Neal knew he was still blessed. He still had Karin and he still had his friends and family. Speaking of his friends, he had a bet at how each of them would react when told Kel was not only getting married, but was doing so quickly and then rushing off immediately after. Well he didn't know the last part, but it was summer and that was the best time to get things started in New Hope. Winter would come early and if they were to be established in a home before the snows came, they would need to leave fairly soon to oversee everything. He couldn't do much to help them then, but he could at least do what he had promised he would do for Dom and go deliver news. After a quick check with his father who was busy writing at his desk, Neal slipped out of the infirmary to go find each of those who had been in their study group when they were pages with the exception of Cleon because he wasn't in the palace and he wouldn't want to be there anyway.

**A/N: And there's another chapter. In response to some of the reviews: I thank you all for your positive comments. I'm not sure how soon the story will end. I'm sort of making this up as I go. One of the readers mentioned Lady Knight Volant. I love that story and recommend it to any who haven't read it. If anyone else has suggestions of good stories to read, please feel free to PM me. I'm not only happy to read any POTS stories. I'm also an available beta reader. Thank you all!**


	24. Chapter 24

Neal paced the holding room off of the side of the temple. How in Mithros' glorious name was he more nervous than Dom, the groom, the man who was breaking his vows of bachelordom, putting his years of flirting so far behind him, dropping all that he was to become a husband and a family man. How in the name of the beautiful Great Mother Goddess was he sitting there so calmly waiting for the priestess to arrive to give the rites? How could he sit there like he had all of the time in the world to wait while his bride was possibly making an escape for it? How was he not making an escape for it? Neal had been full of nerves on his wedding day. He hadn't been able to sleep the night before and he had questioned if this was the right thing to do a thousand times over. But then again he had questioned if Yuki was truly his love on many occasions. Perhaps he had been anxious because deep down he knew Yuki wouldn't be with him long. Perhaps that urge to call everything off had sunk in to try and protect him from whatever was to come. But Dom was calm. Did that mean he didn't feel any potential dangers for his beloved? Did that mean he thought their seas would be smooth sailing? Did he think that they could handle anything together? Did he think that Kel was invulnerable? He had to know Kel had been injured before. That she had nearly died of hemorrhage in Scanra. He had to know that because he had been the one to go and find her, to carry her out, to peel back her bandages and do a field assessment of the wound before pulling Neal away from his other healings to address it. He had to know she could die in her line of work. That she was a big target because she was a commander and that she was well recognized. How could he sit there so damn calmly?

As if Dom could hear his thoughts he looked up from where he had been staring at the same point on the floor and met Neal's eyes with a bit of a smile. "Stop pacing. You'll wear a hole in the floor." Those were the same words Dom had said to him on his wedding day when he had stood up as Neal's witness. Once again Neal was reminded that Dom was too damn calm. That Dom didn't seem the least bit anxious. That it seemed like Neal was the one to go out and devote himself to Kel for the rest of his life and Dom was simply there to keep Neal calm and to keep Neal from running away.

"Are you really sure you want to get married this quickly?" Neal asked finally, throwing himself into a chair with an undignified thud.

"I'm really sure of Kel. And I explained to you this morning, and last night, and yesterday afternoon, and yesterday morning, and the night before that, and when I went to tell you in the first place: it's better for us to take care of the marriage quickly so we can both make decisions on the fief and we can get things in order. It solidifies our position. Beside all of that, Kel and I have been practically living together since we started courting. We have shared a room and a bed whenever we are both at the palace with the exception of a few nights. I will never love any woman the way I love Kel." Dom sat back in his chair and dug into his pocket to retrieve one of the things he had gone to purchase the day before without Kel being aware. It was a wedding band for her. It was a simple gold band with a pearl flanked by two small diamonds in the setting. There was a tiny drop of magic in the metal to expand or shrink to match the size of the finger that it was to go on. Dom held it up for Neal to see and then placed it in his hand. "It's your job to hold the ring until it's called for."

"Do you really trust me not to lose it?" Neal stared down at the ring imagining that in less than an hour when the priestess instructed Neal to hand over the ring, he would search all of his pockets and it would be gone. He wouldn't ruin the whole day for Kel and Dom and it would be his fault entirely. They would resent him for the rest of their lives and their marriage would fall apart and he would be responsible for it.

"Neal, relax. You can handle this one thing." Dom was laughing.

"You have no nerves!" Neal threw his hands up, clutching the ring tightly.

"Just as well because you have too many," Dom stood and went to the mirror to check his appearance.

"You know, Kel said those exact words to me once, when we were pages." Neal reflected. To hear the exact phrase echo in the back of his mind in a young girl's voice should have alarmed him slightly but it was comforting to think that Dom and Kel had the same frame of mind.

"I know, you wrote me the whole thing." Dom straightened his shirt collar and tugged on the hem of his tunic until it lay straight.

"And you remembered?" Neal stood to give the tunic a tug in the back. When he saw Dom blush he realized that Dom probably remembered everything he had said about Kel. He knew her long before she had ever met him. He knew how she talked, how she stood up to bullies, how she was intelligent, how she was with her weapons, how she let small emotions and small bits of feelings out here and there. He had known all of that and he remembered. He was privy to more of her life than Neal had ever been. Dom had written a few things when Kel was riding with the Own and Kel had written a few but not the full length overly detailed letters where every word and action was divulged. And now Dom knew her far more intimately too. Did she share more of her emotions and private thoughts to Dom now that they shared a bed? How much more did Dom know about his best friend than Neal did? It was both scary and soothing. Neal had prided himself on knowing everything about Kel. And now he wasn't sure he did. And Dom probably knew exactly what he was getting into which is why he was so calm about it.

"Kel assured me herself that these colors would go well with the dress Lalasa did for her," Dom brushed his hand over one of his best dark blue tunics, his gray silk shirt, and black breeches.

"You know, perhaps this is better for the two of you to marry in such a way. Could you imagine Kel trying to plan a wedding? Flowers and table decorations? Colors and tiny details like what flower and how many of each flower to pin to each groomsman? Yuki was good at those kinds of things." Neal straightened his own green tunic, white silk shirt, and patted at his black breeches. He patted the ring tucked safely into his pocket in his breeches hoping it would still stay there until he needed to hand it over.

"She would have done very well at it. She has an eye for detail whether she believes it's simply war based or for how things ought to look." Dom turned to look at Neal and stopped him from running a hand through his hair again. "Kel, hates when you do that."

Before Neal could respond, a knock sounded on the door and it opened slightly. Neal was quite happy to see Roald poke his head in. "The priestess is here and she expects you up front before Kel."

"Of course," Dom gave his shirt one last tug and marched out of the door with Neal and Roald following. Dom didn't spare a glance at their audience but Neal did. They had done well for a short notice wedding. Sitting in neat little pews were Kel and Neal's friends. Owen was already crying with joy. Merric, Seaver, and Esmond were inching away from him. Faleron was kindly offering a handkerchief to the jolly man. Roald had taken his place sitting up by Kel's parents. Spread out through the rest of the temple was Third Company and their Knight Commander, Sir Raoul and his wife Buri. Next to Kel's parents sat his own father Baird holding Neal's daughter on his lap. It was at least ten times the amount of people Kel had expected according to Dom but Third Company was in residence and he couldn't not invite them. They knew Kel and wanted to see her wedding as much as they wanted to see Dom get married since he was no longer in the Own anymore. The space where Dom's parents were supposed to sit was empty though Dom had tried to convince Baird he could sit in those spots with Karin. They were the only family he really had left. Someone clearing their throat made Neal look forward again at Dom and the priestess. The priestess gave a nod to a musician Neal had not noticed before and he picked up a violin.

The music was the signal for the doors at the back of the temple to open revealing Princess Shinkokami dressed prettily in a kimono of light blue and silver. She walked up the isle at a steady pace and took the place opposite of Neal. There was a slight change in the music and Kel appeared in the door. Neal frowned when he realized her father was not walking with her. But then again, he had heard the hushed whispers with Dom the night before as Kel had explained her parents had said they could not give her away because she was a free woman to give herself away. This was no lady's marriage where the father transferred over the protection of his daughter to that of the man she was to marry. Noble marriages often treated young women as property, not as individual beings.

Kel stepped forward and Neal couldn't help but feel his own heart constrict. Lalasa had dressed her in a gown very much like her lilac dress but this one was silver and blue. Someone, Neal suspected Lalasa and Shinko, had managed to curl and pin Kel's hair into an intricate style that held small white flowers into her hair. Her face was touched with only enough facepaint to bring out her natural beauty and make it glow. In her hands was a bouquet of fresh wildflowers ranging in all colors. When Neal felt he could bear to tear his eyes off of her, he looked to Dom to see Dom was staring just as hard and smiling at his bride. It seemed like forever and not enough time at all before she was in front of them and Dom was stepping down to take her hands and lead her up before the priestess.

The wedding was a short one. After the priestess explained the traditional rites and explained how marriage was sacred to the Great Mother Goddess, vows were exchanged. Once the traditional vows were said, Dom turned to Neal and asked for the ring. To his surprise, it was exactly where he put it and he was able to hand it over without managing to drop it. At the same time Kel had managed to produce her own ring for Dom, which Neal knew he wasn't expecting. They exchanged rings with a few quick words and then the priestess turned them to introduce them under their new titles to their audience. Dom needed no cue from the priestess to kiss Kel thoroughly which made the cheer that had risen up go louder. Before they could walk off of the dais, Roald stepped forward and blocked them from leaving as he faced the audience.

"As mine and my beautiful wife's gift to the bride and groom, we have a small party in the crystal ballroom for anyone interested in attending." Roald turned to take his place next to Shinko and nodded for Kel and Dom to lead the way. Both of them looked confused and Neal was sure neither of them had known anything about the party at all. They had expected to do the ceremony and be done. Now they would get a somewhat proper reception.

"Roald," Kel's voice was low out in the hallway. Neal could barely hear walking just behind. "You really didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to, we wanted to," Roald said tightening his hold on his wife. Shinko gave him a loving smile in response. "Like I said, it's our gift to you. Marriage should be celebrated with food and drinks and parties."

Nothing more was said as Kel and Dom led the procession to the crystal ballroom where they and their guests discovered trays of foods both from Yaman and from Tortall. Tables filled with different kinds of wine and juices were also available. For the small amount of guests it was perfect to be able to socialize and for Dom and Kel to receive well wishes and small gifts from friends and family as tokens of their hope own hopes the marriage would go well. Neal himself handed over a letter from himself, Baird, and Karin with the promise to send supplies from Queenscove for them to help set up their castle and their fiefdom.

Neal was present when a similar gift was offered by the Mindelans. They wouldn't be left wanting between the two fiefs for anything. Dom had told Neal the night before that the Crown had offered to send carpenters with them that could practically put the whole place up within a month or two. And that the people of New Hope had been informed of everything and were actually excited when they heard it was their own Lady Kel coming to be their Countess. They had already started preparations themselves and Kel had already received a letter from the headwoman, Fanche, explaining that furniture was being cobbled together and though they may have to spend their first few months at the inn, they would be comfortably set up by the time the winter snows came.

Neal's eyes moved to look at Kel once more. She was simply glowing as Dom held her close and she talked with friends and family about their plans. They would be leaving by the end of the month, that left them only a week and a half. They didn't plan on returning to the palace until things were all settled and staff was in place to care for the fief while they made visits. But of course everyone was welcome to visit. Neal felt his eyes drawn down to Kel's bare neck as she laughed at some sort of comment Dom was making. Something was missing. He had noticed two nights before that something was missing but he had been distracted by Karin during his attempt to figure it out. Now as he looked again, he realized something that scared him slightly. Kel had taken off her pregnancy charm. It hit him that all of this was real in a whole new light. Kel and Dom were married and were starting a family. They were leaving at the end of the month to build up their own fief. The next time he saw Kel there was a chance she would be with child. Never before had Neal actually imagined what Kel would be like with her own children. She had always been mothering someone else's child. It was yet another life event he would have to add into his ballad of Kel that would have to take place long before he could give the book to Kel. And for a long moment he stared at Kel wondering if she would ever stop surprising him and if she would ever stop doing things he would have to add to his biography of her.


	25. Chapter 25

Letters. His only information was in letters. His whole life revolved around letters. How had he ever lived on letters alone? Surely he had stilted conversations with Karin and brief conversations that lacked intelligence with his pagehood friends. But the people who supplied him with intelligence and stability in his crazy world were all gone. His father had gone to Queenscove for a short holiday. Kel and Dom were gone up at New Hope overseeing and reintroducing themselves to their tenants. And then Roald had left to accompany the royal supplies that were going to New Hope's new castle. Neal would have loved to accompany him and the supplies but Karin wasn't able to make the trip in the time needed and he needed to stay and work in the infirmary since his father had left. Never before had words on a page held so little to him! He needed more than bits of news in letters that seemed to find their way to him every week or so.

Despite his frustration, he searched his desk in the infirmary when he arrived knowing that the other letters had gone there before and not to his room. And a letter was due from someone. Maybe Roald or his father or Kel or Dom. Someone had to have sent a letter. But his desk was empty. He hadn't had news in over a week and his desk was empty. He let out a frustrated whistling scream as threw himself back into his chair. The other attendants in the infirmary didn't even bother looking up to see what was wrong. It had been this way for two months. If he really thought about it, Neal had this same tantrum every day there wasn't a letter. If he really dug deep he'd know that no one seemed to care because it was the same story each time. But this time a letter really was overdue.

"My Lord, Sir Nealan?" A servant danced from foot to foot in the doorway looking nervous. When Neal looked up at him and stood the young man's eyes went wide as he scurried forward and practically threw a stack of letters down on the desk in front of Neal. He was gone from sight before Neal could even thank him.

"What was his problem?" Neal asked looking around at the other people in the infirmary.

"You were sparking," one of the young women walking between rooms commented.

"Sparking?" He looked down at his hands and realized that his Gift was flickering over his hands and forearms. "Oh. Well that's new." He took a deep breath and thought hard about calming things. When he could no longer see the dark emerald twinkle at his fingertips, he turned to the letters on his desk. A letter from his father, a letter from Roald, and a letter from Dom. No letter from Kel but it seemed like Kel and Dom often said enough in each other's letters that Neal was fairly certain he could just call the letter from both of them now. It was odd thinking of them as a single being rather than two separate people doing two separate things. Thinking it over a little more, Dom opened his father's letter first. It was most likely to not be related to the other two.

It started simply with the news of the fief and his mother and his siblings and all of their doings. There was the business of the fiefdom which Neal was expected to know as the future duke. But unlike his brothers both those who had passed into the Peaceful Realms and those still living, Neal actually liked the economics of the fiefdom. After the first page of economic explanations, Neal found several bits of different letters attached written in a different hand.

_Brother, I was not aware that my son, Garrett, was so ill-behaved towards you and your son. I will most certainly have words with him. As to your accusations that he propositioned that whore, we shall have to disagree. My son assures me that she was after him. Clearly one Masbolle between her legs wasn't enough. Nevertheless she won't have claim over any Masbolle's any longer. I shall be removing Domitan from the family as he refuses to heed his family's wishes. I've read through your embellishments of his apparent accomplishments and I have reasons to doubt your story about my now former son and yours gallivanting across Scanra with that whore to kill a supposed necromancer and a seven and a half foot tall barbarian. The King said it was a mage on our side that did away with the killing devices in the war and if you are going against the King's story you must have lost your mind. I do not wish to hear anything on the topic again._

Another scrap read:

_I received your notice from the King that stated the apparent true story of what happened with those killing devices. Either way that boy that no longer belongs in our family is nothing more than a soldier following orders. He was ordered out there by his commander and then he took his orders from that whore. It was only pure dumb luck any of them came home at all. Accomplishments, I laugh at these so called accomplishments._

Feeling a bit enraged, Neal turned to the last scrap of paper and read:

_The Lady Knight sent me a letter asking about wine. She said she wanted to serve it in their castle and at their town's inn. She claims they possess a trade center to Scanra and the people are quite fond of wine. She knew that Masbolle's vintages were the best. Why I am telling you this, Dear Brother, is the fact she signed the letter Lady Knight Keladry, Countess of New Hope, and Count Domitan of New Hope. Now I know only one Keladry and Domitan and frankly my dear brother, I want to know why you haven't written me about their marriage or these titles or this new fiefdom that they seem to have stumbled upon. I thought you were all about extolling the accomplishments of my former son. Why haven't you written me about these things? What else aren't you telling me?_

Neal smiled at the last one. So his aunt had discovered Dom was now a Count and married. He knew she probably liked to stay informed on the things Dom was doing because she probably wanted to feel like she had made the right decision in disowning her son. She probably also liked to see him suffer a bit as a commoner and was being denied that right. From what Neal could tell, her news seemed to be coming from his father and he seemed to have stopped writing her before Kel and Dom married. It surprised him that his father was holding out but then again she never believed Dom accomplished anything so why would his father keep trying after so many laughs in his face. He set the scraps aside with his father's letter and opened up Roald's letter.

Before Roald had left, Neal had asked him to be thorough on the goings on at New Hope. In response the Prince had sent letter after letter with the intricate details of the local economics, building plans, the expanding and fortifying of the walls and defenses, the farms, the mines, the building of roads, the establishment of taxes, the fur trade. He wrote the finer details of everything and this letter was no different other than the brief news that the castle was nearly done and within the next month it would be completely built up and he would come back to Corus to be with his wife.

Finally Neal picked up Dom's letter and broke the seal. Secretly Neal approved of their new symbol which was pressed into the wax seal: a golden sun rising over a blue field. Of course the color of the seal was simply blue but he knew what the colors were supposed to be. Kel's other shield had been retired and a proper New Hope shield was being made for her. Her old badge had been set away and a new one was made. Flags were being made to show anyone passing by the symbol of the fief. Roald had even reported that after the headwoman had seen the design she had asked for small flags to be made for distribution and decoration during special occasions, like when Kel and Dom finally officially celebrated their marriage.

With a smile at that idea, Neal dived into the letter. Certainly it came from Dom first and foremost because it started with _Sir Meathead the Magnificently Stubborn_. The title changed each time but the 'Sir Meathead' stayed the same. He was fairly certain if Dom didn't start a letter that way he'd be so concerned about his mental health that Neal himself would have to march up there to New Hope to see if he had been hit on the head in all of the help he was doing in building his own home.

The news started much the same as Roald's letter. The castle was almost done, they had been able to move into the family's quarters which had become a priority to the carpenters in the last month. Now they had moved on to the guest quarters, servants' quarters, and places like a great hall for banquets and parties. The walls were being insulated and fireplaces being built in almost every room to withstand the cold of winters. Expensive glass panes had been brought in for all of the windows which Dom claimed was part of Queenscove's gift to them. Their blacksmiths were working overtime to produce the nails, door handles, railings, locks, and anything else that went into a castle that was metal. Local young boys and girls, and anyone interested could earn a wage helping with the woodwork, the plastering, the painting, or carrying of supplies to anyone doing such work. Already Kel had seen fit to hire at least two cooks to make sure those working were fed and she was apparently reviewing applicants for a personal servant for herself. Dom had already picked a young man by the name of Alston to be his personal servant. Once the news of the fief had been traded, it came down to more personal things.

_I know we told you that we'd most likely be ready to invite everyone up to visit and celebrate by spring but there's been a change of plans. I have reason to believe that Kel will not want to be hosting a throng of people for a party when she herself would be nearly eight months pregnant._

Neal had to read that part four times over before the words had sunk in. Kel was pregnant. Newly so. It was late August and if in the spring she'd be eight months along with winter snows in the north lasting up to five months. She had to have gotten pregnant sometime the month before. They certainly had wasted no time at all but then again he had noticed she had taken off her pregnancy charm before their wedding. If Neal thought really hard about it, he would realize Kel was at the opportune time to have children. She would be bound to her fief for at least a year or two. In reality she and Dom would be there for more like three to five years before they'd consider leaving for extended periods of time. Kel wouldn't be called on for active duty until she could leave for a reasonable amount of time marking this the perfect time for her to be laid up with pregnancy and raising children.

_Yes, Meathead, I know. Children already? But Kel and I discussed it and she wanted to make sure we had a line of succession before she was sent back out on active duty. Those sorts of things are important. Just think Karin and our child will be roughly the same distance in age as you and I were. I hope they can be as close as you and I were. And Kel says of course you are welcome to come and visit with Karin at any time. You two have your own rooms in the family quarters. We planned for your invasion of our privacy the moment we found out we were expecting._

Neal scanned the rest of the letter and then took out his quill, ink, and paper to start writing. The infirmary was quiet enough that he could probably spend the next four hours writing before one of the attendants came to tell him they required his help. The first letter he wrote was to his father expressing his wishes to be present in New Hope when Kel was due. There was absolutely no way he would miss such a thing. The second letter went back to Dom, once again expressing his wishes to be present when Kel was due. He demanded to know what midwives Kel was using and their qualifications. Was she having morning sickness? He could send some teas that helped ease the nausea and the aches that would eventually come with her swelling stomach. Did she know the restrictions she should be following in her exercises? If not he was including a whole list and she should follow them very strictly. What sort of foods was she eating? She needed to eat very healthy things. Did they need him to send any foods from Corus? Any winter fruits? Vegetables? He knew Kel would have no probably eating fruits and vegetables, but did they have access to them? Did they plan on a wet nurse or was Kel going to nurse herself? Did they have a nursery set up yet? Did they have nursemaids in order? Should he interview some in Corus and send them up?

The letter he folded together and sealed was nearly ten pages long with his lists and questions and worries. He wanted to make sure Kel was safe. That the baby would be safe. Most noble women didn't have a problem with their pregnancies but then again most noble women were in large comfy castles surrounded by servants to follow their every whim. They had the access and monies for whatever the lady wanted and she was likely not doing training exercises. Kel wasn't in that position and he highly doubted she would allow anyone to follow her every whim or would import foods just because she craved them. They still had work to do at their fief and he wasn't sure she'd just stand back and let others do all of the work on their own. Perhaps he should ask his father for leave starting as soon as he returned and plan to spend his winter with Karin at New Hope. Rather than let his worries make him open his letter to his father again to add the request at the bottom, he let his sensible side that sounded far too much like the woman he was worried about and took the letters to be sent out immediately. If Kel and Dom wanted him, they would ask, he hoped.

**A/N: As I was writing all of Neal's worries for Kel those worries came not in Neal's voice to my head but my brother-in-laws. I give him credit as my real life Neal. I'm not even kidding. I deserve some pity.**


	26. Chapter 26

Dom stood over the top of his new gate looking out at their town. The barracks had been turned into storehouses and all of the citizens of New Hope had built up their own houses ranging anywhere from one story small buildings to two story family homes built over the top of shops. He had even begun to see the creation of a boarding house for those that only stayed to trade long term and didn't have the funds of the inn. Their fortified town of roughly six hundred refugees had grown to a fairly decent size of close to two thousand. And he wasn't sure that the growing would slow down at all either. Kel's name was all over the realm and the fact she now had her own fief meant that people could now come and beg to be part of her lands. She could adopt as many strays as she saw fit.

And Dom had planned for that. He had been immersed in the construction of their castle, keeping in close with the head of the construction team to be able to modify blueprints as he saw fit. When Roald had arrived he had applauded Dom's thoughts about needing a bigger servants' quarters and possibly a fairly large banquet or ballroom. He had approved Dom's wanting to add more rooms in the family's quarters. It would be a nice touch for those who were considered family to be given rooms not where guests stayed but where the family was. It helped to recognize them. And it wasn't just Kel's impossibly large family or Neal, Karin, Baird, and Wilina. It was if Lord Raoul and Buri came or Roald and Shinko. It was if Tobe came to visit though he was immersed in his work with the Riders. It was for any of Kel's fairly close friends really.

Dom had also seen fit to expand the wall around New Hope the town expecting it to grow. They had shops already and a fairly large tavern and inn as well as a market place but he wanted to build more and make them available to purchase through Kel. Kel had shared in secret that Lalasa knew women, seamstresses and weavers, that wanted to get out of Corus and wanted to go where they knew the penalty for abuse was going to be upheld. He wanted to plan for those types of people to move into what he was fairly certain would grow to be a full scale city like Port Caynn or Pearlmouth.

Once he had settled Kel into meeting and greeting all of the new people, he had set out to explore the economy of the place. Sure they mined silver, and to his surprise a bit of copper from the local mines on New Hope lands. But very few smiths worked for artistry rather than practicality in the town. The main amount of silver and copper was being traded raw. He wanted to change that. He had a vision of people coming to see New Hope metalwork like they saw Raven Armory weapons. He knew they had talents woodsmen. They too only created for the practical though he suspected larger, more intricate projects were bubbling beneath the surface. And when enjoying a small cup of cider one night after Kel had gone to sleep early, Dom and Roald had discussed the contracts that New Hope had with the Crown regarding trade of metals. Technically speaking, New Hopes contracts were cancelled the moment it was signed into being a fiefdom. He and Kel could negotiate their own contracts of how much raw metal had to be traded to the Crown and how much could be kept for their own profit or trade if they wanted to trade any at all.

And of course furs were everywhere in the north. Scanrans brought down the majority of them but they had their own as well. These he saw going through the system in great ways. They were turned into linings for boots, mittens, hats, coats, cloaks, and blankets. He had heard of a Scanran man that he loved the work the New Hope women had done with other furs he had brought, he had commissioned a special piece by bringing down the fur of two fairly large bears. He asked that they line the insides with other furs and turn the outsides into cloaks where the bears' heads would sit atop of the wearers' heads and the front two legs of the bear would hang over the shoulders. The women had traded their work for more furs which they had managed to create a stockpile from so they could continue to work and trade or sell even if they weren't getting trade in from the north such as during the winter season.

Dom was also pleasantly surprised to find they did have leatherworkers and decent ones at that. He watched the preparing and tanning of hides several times over during the course of a day amongst the leatherworkers. When asked what they could do with the hide once it was prepared and tanned, he received an endless amount of answers. They could make their own armor, saddles, tack, sheaths, clothing, shoes, travel bags, containers, even buckets. He was impressed. And not only did they make such things regularly, they decorated their work by etching and burning designs into their pieces. Dom was assured that no armor had been made as of yet and certainly none of it had been traded to Scanra. He had taken time to assure them they were fine before he had moved on to see what other trades they had. They lacked a glassblower but if he put the word out to Neal they could use one or two glassmakers to be persuaded nicely that business might do better with less competition in the new fief, they could get a few easily.

They had a school, established before they had even arrived by the Crown as was done for practically any growing area that did not already have one. The schools had been one of Queen Thayet's projects and almost no child in Tortall was unable to read, write, or do basic maths. Kel had been quite pleased to learn that not only was the school in place but apprenticeships were taking place all over the town.

And the farms outside of the walls. They had done better than even Dom could have hoped for. They did a major production of grain, potatoes, and vegetables. Enough to support the town without them having to beg and with surplus being stored away in the store houses. They had herds of livestock. They had cows, goats, sheep, and pigs. Most of the farms had chickens to produce eggs. He had discovered also that the headwoman Fanche, had already established how much of the food had to be set aside for their nobles. Kel had tried to argue down their needs by bringing in her own plans to have a vegetable and fruit garden of their own within the family grounds as well as some of their own livestock. Chickens at least could be kept at their castle in a small coop and a cow or two wouldn't hurt. He understood Kel wanting to lessen the impact of suddenly being under nobility again to these people who had little good to believe of nobles. He also understood Fanche when she had tried to explain that this was how a fief worked and that the people would believe Kel and Dom didn't believe in the quality of the food produced by their people if they wouldn't eat it.

In the end both women had won out, much to Dom's amusement. Kel got her small chicken coop, two cows, and a fairly nice sized garden. All of which required staff. Someone had to care for the animals and someone had to take care of the garden. Kel had used that excuse to hire people from the town that did not have apprenticeships.

Things had gone fairly smoothly after they had arrived. They had their paths eased over for them by Fanche's hard work and by the stories everyone told about the Protector of the Small. The people had been wary of her husband at first but once they discovered from the original New Hope citizens that Dom had been there all along with Kel in the rescue and had been involved in the work at Haven, now their burial grounds, they had welcomed him with less wary looks.

And things had gone smoothly until Kel had started becoming nauseous each morning and sometimes into the afternoons. She had tried to pass it off but it worried Dom and Roald enough to force her to sit down with one of the local healers. The news she was pregnant set Dom's world on edge. He had wanted children certainly. He had wanted a family. That was the whole reason he had removed her pregnancy charm. They wanted a family sooner rather than later. But the timing felt terrible. He had so many plans he wanted to put into motion and Kel would have to be watched. She would have to kept from doing any tasks that would potentially harm the babe growing inside of her. And at the same time, she would also need to be included in the work to make her feel like she was contributing. Roald had helped with that for a time, putting her to the bookwork of creating their account books and figuring out where their treasury stood. But Kel was a genius when it came to mathematics and she already had an easy grasp on what was theirs. All she had to do was add what tithes came in to her total and the expenses going out by the new staff and their taxes which took her very little time once she had the numbers. So Dom had written Neal hoping that he would be so worked up in his nerves over Kel being pregnant he would come running and hold her back from the harder works.

To his surprise, Neal had note come himself but had sent a long letter with all of his questions. He was volunteering to bring in better healers and nursemaids from Corus but he was also volunteering to make sure they had all they needed. Of course Neal would pick the one time not to react as expected, as he normally did, but instead had somehow learned to restrain himself slightly. So Dom had written yet another letter sending coin down and asking for Neal to obtain some of the more comfortable things they had given up like down bedding and plush mattresses. He had asked Neal to stock their infirmary in their castle. He asked Neal to spread the word about the glassmakers. Most of all he invited Neal to come and visit, with Karin, and stay as long as he wished.

So now he stood looking over the top of the gates of the castle grounds looking out over the growing town of New Hope, waiting for Neal to arrive. The letter announcing he was on his way and his expected arrival date had preceded him but only by a week. The guards standing duty at this gate watched just as attentively as Dom. Their colleagues down at the gates into the town had been told to signal when Neal had arrived so an escort could go down to meet them. New Hope had had its own system when it came to guards and Dom had only expanded on it coming in. He liked their system that half resembled the provost of Corus intermixed with the military codes they had formed under with patrols, watches at the gate, and daily training. Now they included the castle in their guardianship as well as new titles that went with belonging to guards of a fief. Those who participated where paid a wage. Dom suspected bigger changes were coming for the guards at least as most of them had other occupations they took a day off from when it was their turn. Soon they would have to decide which way they wanted to go. Guard or stick with their other occupation. Dom's suspicions were they would pick their own occupations and he would need to recruit a little, but only a little.

And as he thought about the guards at his sides and recruiting from the younger men, he could see the signal that had been agreed upon coming from the front gates. Sir Nealan of Queenscove had arrived at New Hope.


	27. Chapter 27

The changes in New Hope were easy to mark out for Neal as he moved through the town towards the castle that stood beyond all of the shops and houses that had sprung up in the wake of so called military order. Though Neal was fairly certain that New Hope never had any military order. They had been a refugee camp and military order had gone out of the window the moment refugees arrived. But these people weren't refugees anymore and hadn't been since New Hope had become a recognized town rather than a camp. And now they had become a fief and by both Roald's and Dom's letters he was fairly certain they were growing into a fief. But Roald had left and had returned home by the time Neal was ready to make his journey north for the long months over winter. He would spend all of winter in New Hope with Karin in order to make sure Kel was cared for as well as any needs were actually being met. The bedding and medicines were a start but not enough. Kel and Dom would make sure their town was fully stocked before they even so much as looked at their own needs and would starve themselves before any of their own people went hungry.

He was surprised to see Dom waiting for him at the gates to the castle, and even more surprised to see the changes in Dom. It wasn't just that he was wearing his fief's colors and device on his tunic and that the colors suited him. It was that he seemed absolutely comfortable in this setting. There was a light in his eyes that had not been there before and was it possible for Neal to see the gears running in his own cousin's head? He swore he could see the wheels turning as Dom gave his town one last look over before turning his eyes to his cousin. On top of all of that, he appeared more comfortable in his own skin. He didn't walk stiffly and he seemed more graceful and quick on his feet than he had at the palace. It was a blessing to see his injuries no longer plagued him.

"Where's Kel? I thought the Countess would be required to meet her own guests," Neal demanded when Dom came forward to embrace him.

"She's resting," Dom smiled and looked back amongst the wagons. "I asked for bedding and infirmary supplies, not half of Corus," he teased.

"And I exercised my own judgment, you should know better than to trust me to follow your lists." Neal teased back. "Not to mention Karin and I will be here through winter if not well into spring so we packed ourselves up and decided to make ourselves comfortable."

"I'll have Alston show you where you and Karin can set up," he waved a young man forward. As Alston led the way for Neal and Karin up into the castle and up the stairs to the family quarters while explaining the layout of the castle, Neal eyed him up. The young man was probably sixteen or so with golden blonde hair, green eyes, and tanned skin. There was a way in which he held his body and a spark in those green eyes that reminded Neal far too much of Dom. Not for the first time did he wonder if perhaps Dom might have other children, illegitimate children, out in the world. He certainly joked about conquests enough when he first joined the Own and when he was in his late teens but at the same time Neal had always suspected he had made most of those up. Dom was a flirt, but he didn't play fast and loose. Perhaps he had taken a prostitute or two to bed while in the Own on lonely nights but those women tended to avoid pregnancy with enough charms to stave off any possible threats to their career.

"And these will be your rooms," Alston said pointing Neal to a set of rooms at the end of the hall. Opening the doors he found a fairly nice sitting room, with two bedrooms attached, one larger and one smaller. There was a shared privy and each bedroom had closets that seemed to point out they would indeed be welcome to stay for a while. "My Lord said to inform you that your rooms are the only ones with such space like this. He said, you should feel welcome to make yourself at home."

"Thank you Alston," Neal looked the man over once more. Beside the way he held himself and the spark of mischief in his eyes, he bore absolutely no other resemblance to Dom.

"My Lord said that young Lady Karin might want a playmate," a young woman's voice came from the hallway. Alston stepped aside to allow a young woman who bore resemblance to him to come in holding the hand of yet another blonde young boy close to Karin's age. Slightly shy, Karin hid behind his leg until Alston made the introductions. The young woman was his older sister Abigail and the boy was her son Adrian.

"Your family likes your A names," Neal observed while Karin's observations were purely on the young Adrian offering out his hand to her as calmly as a four year old knew how.

"It's the running tradition," Alston explained with a laugh. Karin gave her father one last look waiting for his nod before she went to stand by Adrian. Abigail led them out with a quick farewell.

"My sister has been put in charge of minding all of the young ones in the castle. Lady Kel said she didn't want servants unable to do their jobs because no one was home to watch the littles. Not that anyone has taken advantage of it yet, but I think it will pick up. Welcome to New Hope Sir Nealan," he bowed formally and left.

Neal made his way back outside to join Dom and the few guards helping to unload the wagons of crates. When Neal brought up the similarities in Alston's demeanor to Dom's, his cousin laughed outright.

"Kel would be the first to tell you Alston has adopted behaviors more like mine. He seems to believe I hold the secret to attracting women."

"What a strange notion," Neal's sarcasm did not go unnoticed.

"So what is in all of these crates?" Dom changed the subject. The courtyard of the castle was already half full of crates that had been unloaded.

"Bedding for you and for all of the rooms including the servants quarters, for starters. But also infirmary supplies, as requested, and some things to stock your storerooms. Just a few things," Neal shrugged.

"This had to cost more than I sent you," Dom's blue eyes darkened with a warning.

"It did but I have nothing to spend my healer's wages on from the palace when I'm also making an income from Queenscove which is more than enough to keep Karin and myself for a year while we are fed and kept safe at the palace. I didn't think Kel would object to a large supply of green tea either."

"Do you even know how expensive that powder is?" Dom demanded. "I don't even know how to repay you for bringing it."

"Then don't even bother." Neal left no room for argument as he began to sort out what things belonged to him and Karin and started to bring them up to his rooms box by box. By the time Neal was done with his belongings, Dom had managed to find and organize enough help to get the other boxes opened up, unpacked, and their contents sent to the right areas. Once that was all seen to, Dom gave Neal the official tour of the entire castle and their plans for the rest of it. He also started to detail his plans to turn New Hope from a large town to a respectable city. Neal respected his vision and knew it had to be built on trade as much as Dom did. The northern area of Tortall was lacking a good trade center. The City of the Gods, while a decent trade area was more sought after for its temples and schools rather than its goods. And while most places aspired to becoming trade centers, Dom seemed to have the plans to make it happen. While Neal knew New Hope would prosper as a town after they had left when the war had ended, this had exceeded his hopes and dreams for the place. And while Dom was a great commander and military strategist, he turned out to be an excellent Count when it came to city planning and problem solving.

By the time Dom had finished describing what he wanted to do, Kel had made an appearance. She was now four months along by Neal's figuring and she was starting to show a small bump under her layers of clothes. She submitted to Neal's questionings and his exploration with his Gift immediately, and Neal suspected, though he doubted she would admit it, that she trusted his opinion and his ability to be honest with her more than the midwives that lived in New Hope. She relaxed when he informed her that things were moving along quite nicely and that if she was adhering to the restrictions and continued to eat well, he could foresee no problems.

When Neal had both of them sitting and relaxed, he talked about what he had been doing in the capital as far as healing and what news was from their friends. He also broached the topic of the glassmakers telling Dom and an amused Kel that he had not gone and spread the word about but had mentioned to a few higher ups in the Glassworkers Guild that New Hope was lacking if any journeymen being elevated wished to do so outside of the confines of an already established market place. He believed those brief words might have accidentally spread to other guild heads but what was he to do if the men told their wives and gossip had ensued?

"We'll be flooded with craftsmen if it goes about like that," Dom laughed. "But that should take a few years or more for people to gather the courage to really come in those numbers. Success stories will have to filter back to those guilds about being able to set up, get supplies, and sell their work here. But once people see the dream is possible, they'll start coming too."

"You know apart from the major ports in Tortall and the capital, there are no other big trade centers," Kel observed. "The north lacks a port and New Hope is fairly central along the border. I think we have a chance at becoming something new."

Neal looked her over and realized that Kel was just as much a part of pushing this vision forward as Dom was. The two of them were ambitious but not in the same way other nobles tended to be. They weren't thinking about the wealth they could bring in for themselves, they were thinking about the benefits it would bring to an under-established area like the north. And Neal had to marvel at the fact no one else had thought of this kind of thing. The north was as under-established as the dessert but even then Persopolis had its own large trade as being one of the only cities in the desert. King Jasson's expansions and King Roald's peacemaking had left little room for establishment. And Jonathon's reign had been marked by Immortals and the Scanran war. They had done a lot to establish relations with other countries and to stabilize the realm but areas still remained sadly neglected.

"Well, while I am here, I have my own project for New Hope," Neal announced, stretching his legs out in front of him. "I was hoping to get a look at the Gifted here and see if I can work with any of them to add to their tricks or recipes."

"We certainly won't turn down one of the best and strongest healers in Tortall training up our people."

Neal had to look twice to see if Dom was teasing because that was certainly Dom's voice saying that Neal was one of the best healers in Tortall. But Dom's weren't on him. They were on Kel as he pulled her up against him. Neal wasn't certain if he could attribute the change in attitude to marriage, a baby on the way, or the responsibility of a fiefdom on his hands. Any other those, or perhaps a combination of any of those things, could have marked that particular change.

"Well, um, yes, it will be a couple of days before I am all set up but, then I'll start meeting with people," Neal took a few moments to recover from the praise. Dom didn't even seem to notice.

Later that night, after dinner when Kel left to see Karin, Dom met Neal's eyes. "You have no idea how grateful I am that you are here. I know she's a lot more comfortable having you here at least for her first pregnancy and I feel a lot better knowing you have no qualms about telling her what to do."

"You're worried she's going to push herself?" Neal questioned.

"Of course I am. She's Kel. Not that I don't trust her to look after herself or the babe, but she tends to get involved in things that can push the limits." Dom sighed.

"She really is doing well, Dom," Neal informed his older cousin. Marriage didn't faze him, a new fief was something he could handle with a blink of an eye, but a baby seemed to be setting him more on edge. Any thoughts Neal had that Dom was handling the pregnancy well went out the window with the thought that Dom had also developed his own unique mask for Kel's sake. And now that Neal was there, he was letting it slip a little. The thought that his cousin might have to be restrained when Kel went into labor the same way that he had had to restrain Neal made Neal smile inside and was worrying all the same. If Neal was involved in the delivering of the babe, then someone else would have to be employed in keeping him calm. But that was four to five months away. That would be enough time to convince someone to come and visit and keep Dom occupied.

"You'd tell us if something was wrong, right?" Dom pressed.

"You know I couldn't keep a secret like that if I tried," Neal laughed. "Though both of you are so healthy save a few battle injuries, I'd suspect the only news I'd have to tell either of you regarding how things look is if there were multiple babes." When Dom only stared at him he clarified. "Twins… triplets… quadruplets. One poor mother I heard about had the misfortune of quintuplets. The midwives didn't think she'd make it through the labor let alone having all five babes survive." If Neal thought Dom could get whiter he would have gone on.

"That's not a possibility? Is it? Multiple babes I mean," Dom managed to squeeze the words out.

"This one appears to be only one babe. But it's always possible," Neal shrugged. "If you don't have twins running in your family or Kel's in hers, I'd say the odds are lower. If my memory serves me correctly she doesn't have any twins in her immediate family, but I don't know about her parents' siblings. And we know you don't have twins or anything of the like in yours." Dom started to gain a bit of his color back.

"Did the woman and her children survive? The one that had the five babes?" Dom asked quietly after a few moments of silence.

"We won't ever know, she, and consequently her babes, couldn't get enough nourishment. Six bodies in need of food is a lot and the woman was a commoner. She lost the babes before they were too far along." Neal shook his head noting how pained Dom looked. "Listen, even if Kel were toting around eight babes, no one would let her go undernourished and you'd get first rate healers here in an instant to make sure she'd survive. But as it is, you only have one babe and that's far easier. Women do this all of the time. Kel will be just fine."

Dom's color started to return to his features as he nodded agreement with Neal. It seemed that reminding the poor man that women had done this before, though that should have been obvious to a man of his supposed intelligence, was all it took for him to believe Kel would be fine. After they lapsed into silence again for another brief period of time, Neal heard Dom let out a small little noise that sounded like a cross between a laugh and a puff of air.

"What?" Neal narrowed his eyes on his cousin's.

"I was just thinking, you said if Kel was having eight babes we'd have first rate healers here in an instant. But we are only having one babe and we are still blessed with a first rate healer. Thanks for coming Neal. Really, it means a lot to both Kel and me." With that said Dom made a retreat leaving Neal to his own thoughts.

It was a surprise to hear his family and friends thought him a first rate healer. He hadn't finished out his time at the University nor had he had much for formal training. He had always been under Baird's shadow when it came to healing and he supposed he always felt that he would be second rate at best perhaps third rate and a step above midwife for some. But there had been flashes of compliments on his skill in the past. Wyldon had once said he was the strongest healer in the district but the district had been fairly empty at that time so he assumed he was one of maybe two options. Lady Alanna had certainly not said anything about how strong his Gift was or how skilled he was. She was never full of praises. And his own father would only correct him when he wasn't doing something right or there was a faster way to do it. How long ago had it been since his father had corrected him? He couldn't even recall which was surprising to him. But to hear that his presence was not only desired but it eased the minds of important people in his life? That was more of a shock. He only hoped that come time for him to deliver Kel and Dom's firstborn, they would believe he had lived up to their standards.


	28. Chapter 28

"Kel…" Neal called out a warning knowing full well what his charge was up to. She was bored. Most of the work that had yet to be done was in the town and Dom was down helping out and overseeing but Neal was left sitting at the castle with Kel with her having very little to do. Winter was in full force outside and she was not allowed to go where she could slip and fall on ice or get too chilled. It was more Dom's orders on her than Neal's but either way both of them felt similar on the subject. She was supposed to be occupied with bookkeeping which Neal knew she had probably done three times over in the last few hours. And in reality it was getting close to dinner time and she had managed to stay occupied most of the morning and afternoon. She did deserve some credit there.

"Neal, if I don't get some fresh air sometime soon, I'm going to explode," Kel's face was utterly blank behind its perfect Yamani mask. Only the tight grip on her cloak in her gloved hands told him she was frustrated.

"Well, hold on and let me get ready too." Neal sighed and went to gather up his cold weather gear. Kel had been following his and Dom's worries and restrictions closely and Neal suspected she had worries of her own to attribute to her close adhering to the rules but at the same time, she had earned a bit of a break. And if he went with her, Dom could chew him out rather than Kel when he found out they had gone outside.

Bundled up in several layers of hose and breeches, shirts, a coat, a cloak, mittens, and a fur hat, Neal met Kel at the front entrance of the castle looking over her choices in warm clothing. He was surprised to see she was just as well bundled if not better bundled up. He offered her his arm with an overly flourished bow.

"My Lady? Shall we embark on a quiet stroll through the iced over gardens?" He tried to make his voice sound as pompous as possible trying to make her smile.

"As if we had a garden," Kel informed him straight faced but her eyes were alight. Not for the first time was Neal caught off guard by the similar humor Kel had to Yuki. He supposed that was one of the things that had drawn him to Yuki, how like Kel she was with a bit more pepper to her and a beauty that was all her own. Kel taking his arm brought him back to the present and he remembered that she was now his cousin-in-law as well as his best friend. And she would no more debate with him about any academic discoveries or philosophies than she would dance naked in the street. He supposed it was one of the reasons that remained such good friends.

"We should remedy that garden thing once spring rolls around. Let's go map one out," Neal informed Kel as he tried to focus on something the two of them could laugh about but also laugh when Dom asked them what they had been doing outside.

As Neal knew, and he was sure Kel had suspected, the paths around the castle and down to the village were not only painstakingly cleared of snow but also salted to keep ice at bay and sanded to allow some sort of traction where salt wasn't enough to keep the slipperiness down to a minimum on its own. When she gave Neal an accusing look he smiled at her.

"Dom knew you'd escape at some point, you know. There really is no containing the infamous Lady Knight Keladry of New Hope, but we should still be careful," he assured her. They walked on around the castle in quiet. It really was beautiful outside with the snow blanketing the ground and trees. The sky was already darkening as the sun drew down to set. Neal already knew this was the kind of quiet Kel drew inside of herself to bring about calm. And if that was so, then perhaps she needed to come out more often just to absorb the peacefulness of a winter evening. Peace and calm was good for the baby even if freezing temperatures and potential falls on the ice were not so good.

When they rounded the back of the castle in their slow way Neal decided it was time to break the silence. "So about this garden… I'm thinking there should be statues in it. I'm thinking you put a large marble and gold statue of me in the center as the most intelligent man you've ever met…" he instinctively dodged the smack aimed for his shoulder. "Okay well statues are a thought. Most gardens have them. And benches. And stone paths. And fountains." He paused. "There's something else too…"

"Plants…" Kel supplied. "I thought gardens were for plants. Not all of the stonework you're talking about."

"Well the stonework is there to accent the plants and make walking through and sometimes sitting down easier. So what kind of plants? Roses? Geraniums? Lilies? Big and marvelous cherry trees full of blossoms?"

"Not that I think my opinion matters much on gardens," a voice behind them made them both turn. Dom was back from the town looking just as bundled up as the two of them were. "But I think a rose garden would be nice. And I remember a drawing you showed me once, dearest, of a Yamani garden with the cherry trees and flowers, and arched red bridges over little springs." Neal felt Kel draw out of his arm and he smiled as Dom put one strong arm firmly around her waist to support her as much as to hold her close. After six long months his injuries were little more than scars. Everyone that had inquired after the injuries were shocked that they did not ache with impending storms nor did they bother him any. Neal knew it was because of the numerous healings and balms Dom had undergone and put on to help ease the aches early on. Even though immortals had caused the scars, the scars themselves were shrinking down to nothing with yet another balm Neal had devised for Kel to put on her growing stomach for stretch marks.

"A rose garden? Whoever thought you'd want one of those," Neal teased his cousin knowing full well why Dom wanted one. Masbolle had had a wonderful rose garden full of all types of roses that made for a beautiful display between spring and autumn. It was one of the few things he would be able to recreate in his new home to replace what he no longer had.

"I like roses," Kel supplied. "And of course your opinion matters! Silly."

"Have you had enough time outside, My Dear, or should we continue mapping things out on foot rather than the castle plans I had drawn up for these types of things?" Dom asked as his lips found Kel's temple.

"We can go back in. I suppose you must be sick of being outside after spending all day out." They turned to start walking back inside and Neal lagged behind to watch them as the topic of conversation turned to the progress in the town and the events of the day.

It was times like this where Neal was presented with different timelines in his brain. One time line showed exactly what had happened, Kel six months pregnant with Dom's child playing lady of a fief while Dom worked on creating an epicenter of trade. Another timeline showed him Kel and Dom as if Dom's injury had never happened and he had not had whatever realization led him to wanting to talk Kel around to marriage sooner. Kel would be doing all of this alone but she would also not be pregnant with Dom away as a Captain of Third Company. She probably wouldn't have the exact vision Dom was working out economically but she still would see this place thrive. There were various other realities in which Dom had returned home to his family when they had insisted or that Dom had not lived through his injuries. Neal didn't really want to think about what those would mean for Kel who seemed so happy with his cousin and who would become Kel's lover after such a terrible thing either way.

As Neal sat down to dinner with Kel and Dom he realized that in none of those alternate realities Yuki was alive. He thought about it and knew in his heart he had not exactly moved on but he had come to terms with Yuki's death. The anniversary of her death had passed not unnoticed at New Hope's castle with both Kel and him remembering the day and offering up their own ways to remember her. Neal had spent the day with Karin, telling the child all about her mother and the wonderful woman she was. He had proven he could go through a whole year without her, what was one more year, and another after that? He could get through this. Somewhere he knew he'd always remember her and there would be days he longed for her not just for himself but for Karin.

Neal knew Dom was aware that the young woman Neal had been helping to expand her knowledge of her magic had offered several times over to be a comfort in his bed while he was staying at New Hope. He hadn't taken her up on the offer feeling like he couldn't take a woman that wasn't Yuki to bed quite yet and that his own student would be a further strike against his morals. Dom had told him it was fine, everyone would understand if he did take her to bed. No one at New Hope was unaware of what Neal had undergone the last year and that he was raising Karin with the help of friends and family. Even if he did abandon his morals he was afraid the young woman, Mira, would want more than just a few beddings here and there. He was worried she'd become attached and want to be his next wife. Or worse, that he would become too attached and something would happen to her.

"Come on Neal," Kel's quiet whisper in his ear made him snap back to actual reality. The meal in front of him was untouched and Kel was tugging on his arm softly trying to get him to stand. He obliged and Neal could see Dom had disappeared altogether.

"Where's Dom?"

"He and I both finished dinner twenty minutes ago," Kel's voice was reasonable. "Do you want to talk about it?" Talk about his fear of entering another relationship be it just physical or anything more with the ever practical Kel? She would see right through his so called morals to his fears and would tell him he was being silly, but he also doubted she'd condone him sleeping with any of the women in her castle for anything short of a real relationship. "Do you want to talk about it with Dom?" She asked just as reasonably when he didn't answer her. Neal heaved an internal sigh. He'd have to talk about it with someone eventually and now was as good a time as any. Dom would understand him even if he hadn't experienced the same situation. He'd hear Neal out before calling him silly. He gave her a small nod and let her lead him to the library they often retired to after dinner. Dom was inside with two goblets of wine already poured.

"I'll be up soon, Love," Dom told her as he came to give her a soft kiss. Kel retreated and closed the door leaving Neal to explain his worries to Dom.

When he finished talking, the goblet of wine had been emptied twice over and Dom regarded him with a serious note in his blue eyes. "It's natural to be afraid of having to go through that again. Goddess and Mithros both know I'm worried about what may happen to Kel one day. But fear should not keep you from life. If you want to take Mira or anyone else to bed as a lover, you can. You aren't married anymore and Yuki has been gone just over a year. If you want to wait longer, no one will fault you for that either. But don't wait because you are afraid."

"I suppose you're right. But I'm not ready yet," Neal sighed.

"Is that everything that had you preoccupied enough not to eat dinner or notice absolutely anything else?" Dom pressed.

"Nothing else," Neal insisted. "Well nothing worth thinking on," he amended as he recalled the alternate realities that had played through his mind. The truth was he knew none of those had happened and the way things were was the most amazing turn of events for everyone.

"Do you want to talk more?" Dom prodded.

Neal gave a wry smile. "Go join your wife. I know if I was in your position I'd refuse to leave her long enough to use the privy let alone leave her side all day and then in the evening as well." He grinned wider at Dom's slight blush. "Go join Kel."

Dom made it as far as the door before he stopped and leaned against the frame to address Neal one more time. "Don't be afraid of falling in love. And don't be afraid of what may or may not happen. If I've learned anything from Kel, it's that if we don't like how things are, forge a new path to what you want." With that he left Neal to make his way up to his rooms to spend some time with Karin. He might have felt slightly tipsy but he certainly want not drunk and he owed his daughter at least three stories before bed and he was certain if she got her way it would be five or six. And tonight, he didn't mind.

**A/N: Yeah, I'm sorry it took so long (for me) to get a new chapter up. I feel like there is more story to tell but I'm having a harder time locating it in my brain. I hope you guys enjoyed. Please review.**


	29. Chapter 29

When Spring seemed imminent in all but the North, Dom and Kel sent out letters not only announcing the pregnancy truly officially but inviting anyone who wished to visit around the due date to come. The most important invitations went out to Baird at the Palace and Kel's parents. The letter to Kel's parents was simply symbolic. They had spent the winter in Yaman on a surprise trip and most likely wouldn't be returning any time before summer. They were well aware of their latest incoming grandchild and had both expressed happiness for her and Dom. Baird had sent a letter back as fast as couriers traveled in the still frozen North and gave his estimated arrival as the beginning of April. By Neal's estimate his father would arrive a matter of a week or so before the babe did.

Other invites went out to Kel's siblings, pagehood friends, Roald and Shinko, and Raoul and Buri. Only polite replies of congratulations arrived from Kel's siblings and she had not expected them if her parents were not around. And Kel's friends all sent along their intents to arrive well before the babe with squires in tow. Roald and Shinko sent a letter saying Roald would be arriving with Raoul and Buri and an escort that would be coming from Third Company.

The influx of warriors that would be arriving within the next month presented a new problem to Dom and Kel. They certainly had room enough for everyone but they did not have indoor practice space for weapons and with squires along that would be a necessity. It had not been a priority in the fall since they were still working on the main parts of the castle and in the winter they had moved to working on structures already in place down in the town. There was an outdoor practice space that had a fence around it as well as a tilting lane but that was a mess of icy mud and would remain so until May. Dom set himself and a few of the better carpenters in town working on adding on a decent indoor practice court that would serve not only himself and the Lady Knight in the winter months but also any visitors or men-at-arms that wanted to use it. Dom also half considered just offering to train anyone who asked for it as a way to pass the time after things really took off in New Hope. After all, Kel had proven that most civilians wanted to learn and even the tiniest of women and children could show more aptitude and ambition than just the men. He wasn't above opening up his men-at-arms to be warriors-at-arms instead and include women but that was a point he wished to discuss with Kel so incorporations would go better.

With the ground still sloppy in places it was hard work getting the posts in place and a slightly raised platform built up to make the floor on. By the time that work was done some of Kel's friends were already arriving starting with the dark handsome Sir Faleron of King's Reach and his squire, Rose of Merrywood. After settling in and touring the castle and town they both joined Dom and his workers with gusto. Faleron used it as a work experience, explaining that knights did all sorts of jobs including construction if that's what they were called to do.

Sir Merric of Hollyrose, Sir Seaver of Tasride, and Sir Esmond of Nicoline arrived together with two squires in tow midway through March and Sir Owen of Jesslaw arrived a week later. Roald and Raoul arrived with Wolset's squad of the King's Own within a day after that. By the time Baird arrived on April 2nd, the indoor practice court was done and most of the warriors distracted enough that they no longer had to find numerous ways to entertain everyone.

Dom enjoyed seeing Kel with her friends and seeing them respond to her pregnancy with confusion and caution. Despite Kel wearing dresses and being married to a man it seemed hard for most of them to truly grasp she was female. That she was pregnant was so utterly and undeniably female that it had someone like Owen constantly tripping over his own words in trying to not treat her like a girl but also to be considerate of her and her changing body and moods. And Kel wasn't exactly moody but she also wasn't being too focused on hiding her emotions behind her mask. A frown or scowl not directed at Neal had most of her friends concerned she was about to blow her top and a slight smile had them acting like she was rewarding them all. And Kel was quiet in her way about everything to a point where anyone with a wife that had been pregnant at any time around them was convinced Kel had to be the most mild mannered pregnant woman and that went double for Neal and Roald. While both had had quiet Yamani women for wives, both quiet Yamani women had not been quiet about pregnancy.

"Kel's a treat," Roald told Dom one evening after Kel had retired early for bed. The other men turned to listen to the Crowned Prince as well. "Shinko was a bear for craving foods we didn't have and she would raise havoc if we didn't find a way to get them. Of course by the time I could get things shipped in, she had moved on to a new craving." He sighed. "Kel's just so easy going and as far as I can tell, the only sign she's pregnant is the growing belly."

"She has cravings," Dom admitted. There had been nights where they had been lying in bed cuddling close and talking where Kel had admitted she wanted things that they just didn't have access to. She wasn't upset by not getting those things and had she expressed any true disappointment, Dom would have tried to find a way to get a hold of something. Neal had curbed one big craving with his large stash of green tea powder. "Yamani foods we can't get or fruits that we don't have stored over the winter months. And in the rare case, sweets."

"Why didn't you let me know? I could have brought some of those kinds of things with me from the South," Roald pressed.

"Kel knows I would have gone to the ends of the earth if she wanted something bad enough." Dom felt himself blush a little.

"Kel doesn't like having people go out of their way for her even if she is toting around another life," Neal informed everyone.

"I'm taking note for the next one," Dom said as he stood up. "So I can have everything on hand as soon as I know she's craving anything. We were just not in a good position with trying to get the castle built and getting established here this year. And especially with winter being the biggest part of her pregnancy. But I should be going to bed. With Kel due any day I should get rest when I can."

Dom retreated then, feeling a bit low. It had not really been an ideal time for Kel to get pregnant for her sake. They were a bit cut off in the North and with winter cutting off most trade and travel they hadn't been able to get supplies like food imports from the south or stock up ahead of time. And yet, Kel had wanted to do this right away and she didn't expect the luxuries due to her status. Kel deserved more than she expected once again and once again Dom felt he was falling short.

But Kel was waiting for him in bed, still awake and well aware that he was feeling low for some reason. After some prodding she had managed to extract what exactly was bothering him. With a small giggle she caught his attention and brought it back to the present and to her.

"Well, I can tell you what I'm craving right now," she let her eyes flick over his body and he smiled. There was another side effect of her pregnancy that he wasn't too upset with. Her hormones left her wanting him in bed at least once a night if not more than that, and that was something he could certainly give her.


	30. Chapter 30

The dawn light came into the room through the glass paned windows like it did every morning and Dom woke with Kel still wrapped naked in his arms from the night before. She had enjoyed proving to him that he could give her something she craved over and over again as much as she craved it. His hands moved down over her back, pressing in to work out stiff muscles. Kel shifted against him and woke smiling into his shoulder. Her lips started to travel over his shoulder, up his neck, and any moment their lips would meet and would probably stay together for some time before they both broke apart and decided to get up and get on with the day. But Kel pulled away from him after several moments with a wince.

"What's wrong, Love?"

"I'm feeling—felt, a, I don't know more like a wave of pain." She sighed. "I'll be happy when this baby is out."

"Maybe I should go get Neal. Pain isn't normal." Dom was already halfway out of bed but Kel pulled him back.

"Just stay and cuddle for a bit?" She pleaded and he couldn't ignore a plea even though she had said something before to concern him. He settled with her, wrapping his arms around her and tucking the blankets around her closer. They laid together like that until they could hear people leaving their rooms and heading for breakfast. With a sigh Kel pushed Dom away and started to get up. She was partway through pulling on her shirt when she stopped and her hand went to her abdomen once again with a hiss.

"Again?" Dom stopped pulling on his breeches to move his hand over hers.

"It's gone again," she said as she nodded confirmation. "Maybe you should go get Neal…"

"As soon as I can get a shirt on," he went for the closet to get a fresh shirt and before he could leave the closet he heard Kel gasp. His shirt in his hands he turned and hurried back out to her to see a large puddle of liquid on the floor under her. His first thought was she had spilled the pitcher of water they had always kept in the room. But that wasn't near at all and when he did spy it, it was still half full.

"The baby's coming," Kel whispered looking up and meeting Dom's eyes as he realized Kel's water had broken and that was a sure sign of labor.

"I'm going for Neal," he told her as he pulled the shirt on over his head. He ignored the ties as he went for the door. "Don't you dare think of cleaning that up. I'll do it when I come back." He called back over his shoulder.

Neal's room was close enough that Dom didn't have to go far and the hall was deserted at this time now that most of the visitors were at breakfast. Neal, however, usually slept through breakfast if he could. He usually slept through knocking at his door too but Dom's frantic knocking wasn't exactly something he could ignore easily. Blurry eyed and wearing just breeches and a night shirt Neal answered the door. It took little time for Dom to explain why he was there, less time for Neal's eyes to go from sleep drooping to wide open.

"Get Kel back in bed, I'll be right in," he closed the door in Dom's face and Dom went to go do as he was told.

To his surprise Kel was already back in the bed, and Dom took to shifting pillows behind her to help her sit up better wanting to make sure she was as comfortable as possible. When that was done he started to clean up the puddle of liquid on the floor using drying cloths from the privy. Neal let himself in and by the time Dom was done cleaning the floor Neal was already getting settled and pulling things out of storage places under the windows. Extra sheets and drying clothes they had stashed away for this event.

"I'll need hot water," Neal informed Dom. "And go get my father. He can help. Mira if you can find her too. She should be here to help and learn."

Dom stepped out into the hall trying to think. It was breakfast time though that seemed impossible. Everyone would be eating breakfast in the dining room and he would have to go find his uncle to try and relay Neal's request for a second pair of hands while trying not to incite the obvious excitement from the others that would follow the announcement. To his luck, Alston was outside of the dining room and was happy to go relay the message to Baird, quietly. He also agreed to find Mira and get the hot water brought up which made Dom exceptionally grateful he had hired the young man.

Baird was quick to come out into the hall and quick to give Dom a thorough looking over. "It's always unnerving whether it's your first or your tenth, or at least it was for me," he assured Dom stopping to give him a short embrace. "Goddess and Mithros both know I was a wreck when your aunt was giving birth to Graeme."

"Aunt Wilina tells it differently," Dom managed a small smile. "When Yuki was in labor she said she wished Neal was as calm as you were during all of her births."

"Well, I felt like I was panicking," Baird gave a wry smile. "Of course I was also the healer for all of her births too which is uncommon. I probably was able to hide panic behind some level of professionalism. Something I doubt Neal could have done with Yuki. I don't know where that child of mine learned such dramatics." He continued to distract Dom with idle conversation as they moved slowly towards the room. Dom had a feeling they were moving slow in order for everything else to get into place. Outside of the room Baird stopped Dom and gave him a thorough looking over, "I know tradition says the father shouldn't be in the room but if you and Kel want to break tradition again and again I won't kick you out and I won't allow Neal to kick you out either." He stood there seeming to want an answer and Dom didn't really have a good one yet.

"I'll wait for Kel to decide," Dom he said finally as he felt a knot in his stomach unclench. He would probably do better if he knew he could be in the room rather than just waiting without information. Perhaps he could even feel of some use if Baird was aware he needed to be occupied or if Kel assured him his presence meant something. He hated the idea that he might be locked out of the room like Neal had been during Karin's birth at Yuki's insistence at adhering to tradition. And the thought of anyone trying to restrain him left him feeling anxious even more so. Neal had thrown punches when he had heard Yuki crying out in pain when he was being kept away. Dom didn't think he'd be that out of control but he also reasoned Kel had not been obvious about pain before. It would have to be a lot of pain and how would he even handle knowing she was in that much pain and he wasn't there to do something? The worst part was Dom hadn't even told Kel he wanted to be present or be involved. Once again he had neglected to say something until it was too late. He didn't even have an excuse this time of being distracted. He only had his worries of being turned down to blame. He would have to live with this decision and make his hopes known for the next baby.

Dom followed Baird inside of the room waiting for Neal to kick him out when things got going. He could see Mira had found her way to her teacher before they had arrived and was eagerly listening to Neal explain the process of birthing and what was going on. Water was sitting in a large pot over the fire warming quickly. Baird was at Kel's side giving her the healer's going over to orient himself to the situation. Kel's eyes were on him, not on Baird or Neal or Mira so he went to her side and held her hand again and kissed her thoroughly while managing to stay out of everyone's way.

"Did Neal tell you an estimated time frame yet?" Baird asked as his hands settled on Kel's stomach. When she shook her head he smiled. "I'd expect the true labor to begin within the hour or two. Things are moving quickly. Sometimes it can take up to eighteen hours."

"Then we should probably send Dom out," Neal seemed to realize he was there as he heard his father's time analysis. A thousand reasons he should be allowed to stay came to his mind and a strong anxiety about leaving Kel to go through this without him swamped him.

"Dom has expressed his wanting to be present," Baird's quiet voice made him cringe. Of course he wanted to stay but he wanted to stay only if Kel wanted him there. He didn't want her decision influenced by this sudden announcement. He wanted it to be something she truly wanted, not simply an accommodation of his anxiety.

"You want to stay?" Kel asked him, her face serious behind her blank mask.

"I want to be here for you," he told her softly. "But only if you want it."

"I didn't think you'd want to be here," she smiled at him. "I'd like it if you stayed."

"Then let's get you a chair, Dom," Baird brought the desk chair over and pressed him down into it so he was now eye level with Kel and could hold her hand more easily. "So now it's just a waiting game until that baby decides it wants out."

"A waiting game with a timer of contractions," Neal added.

"I thought you said the father was never allowed in the birthing because they are a distraction and they are unpredictable," Mira's quiet voice made Dom twitch.

"In most cases men don't want to be involved in the delivery because they don't know how to handle something like this. However, those who are allowed in can be unpredictable. Some faint, others panic…" Neal explained.

"But the Count here is a warrior who has seen far worse things than child birthing so he shouldn't faint and he's a natural commander which means he has a very cool head so he shouldn't panic. Besides, Lady Kel wants him here as much as he wants to be here. A good lesson is to not deny the mother any small comforts than can be given," Baird added, putting a hand on Dom's shoulder.

"Oh," Mira left it at that and went to go check on the water heating over the fire.

While they waited Baird pressed Dom for details of his plans for New Hope. Kel interjected her own opinions and observations despite the frequently increasing contractions that left her squeezing Dom's hand tighter and tighter. She was also fairly conscious of how tight she had been squeezing his hand and tried to let it go. The second time she tried to let his hand go before the contraction came Dom stopped her.

"I don't mind. I want to be doing something to help," he stroked her hair back away from her face.

"If you break his hand we'll fix it," Neal assured her with a smile.

After an hour and a half of more and more frequent contractions Neal announced the baby was ready to come out. Things moved quickly then and Dom found himself dazed as Kel was sat up a little more and began to push when Neal encouraged it. He was deaf and to all but Kel's screams of pain that he was sure no Yamani control could hold back and his world was focused on where her hand squeezed his with a constant bone crushing pressure. Then she was quiet and there was a brief pause because a baby's cry filled the air.

"You have a son," Baird informed them calmly as Neal took the babe to be cleaned up. Dom felt overwhelmed with his love for Kel in that moment and not because it was a son but because she had given him a child. He kissed her thoroughly and helped to mop the sweaty hair from her face.

"You're amazing," he informed her.

"I'll tell you what," she whispered. "I'll let you have the next one so you can be just as amazing."

"It's a deal," he knew she was joking and he would have to find some way to act indignant that she was pregnant before he was the next time just to further the tease but right now all he wanted to do was hold his wife.

"And here you go," Neal placed a loosely wrapped baby in Kel's arms. Dom leaned in to stroke the baby's soft skin with a finger and was rewarded with bright blue eyes turning to look at him.

"Have you two thought of names?" Baird asked gently.

"I think Rowan," Kel looked up to Dom to confirm. It was one of the few names they had both agreed they had liked. He nodded his confirmation. Male names were harder for the two of them to come up with and Rowan seemed to fit best.

"Rowan of New Hope," Neal looked down at the baby with his hands on his hips looking as stern as ever. "You have some awfully big shoes to fill."

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, follows, and favorites. I love you all.**


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